MAN: Delicious Pizza?
GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
MAN: I must have dialed the wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, you didn’t dial the wrong number. Google purchased Delicious Pizza last month.
MAN: Fine, I’d like to order a pizza then.
GOOGLE: Would you like the usual, sir?
MAN: The usual? Do you know who I am?
GOOGLE: According to your data file, the last 12 times you ordered a pizza, you requested one with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, and meatballs.
MAN: Yes, that’s what I want ...
GOOGLE: May I suggest you order a gluten-free whole wheat pizza this time with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives?
MAN: What? No, I want the usual pizza!
GOOGLE: Sir, your cholesterol is not good.
MAN: How the hell do you know that!
GOOGLE: We have linked your phone number with your medical records. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
MAN: Fine, but I'm taking medication for cholesterol and I want the pizza I usually order.
GOOGLE: I’m sorry sir, but you haven’t been taking your medicine regularly. According to our database, you purchased only one box of 30 cholesterol pills once 4 months ago from Drug RX Network.
MAN: I bought more at another pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
MAN: I paid cash.
GOOGLE: But according to your statement, you haven’t withdrawn enough cash.
MAN: I have other sources of money.
GOOGLE: That isn’t reflected in your latest tax return. Unless you have undeclared income, which is against the law.
MAN: WHAT?
GOOGLE: I’m sorry, sir. I can assure you that we use such information solely with the intent to help you.
MAN: Enough! I can’t take it anymore! I hate Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and all the other damn social sites. I’m going to an island without the internet, without TV, where there’s no mobile phone service and no one can watch and spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand, sir, but first you need to renew your passport. It expired 6 weeks ago ...
