READ AND ENJOY EVERYONE. I AM STILL RECOVERING.
"The summer of 2019 has come to an end, the one that has given us the greatest number of Italian summer hits. A slaughter of notes and good taste, which Germano Mosconi has already commented on extensively. Letās analyze the 10 biggest hits of this dreadful year:
N.10
āArroganteā - Irama
The young product from Maria De Filippiās talent pool churns out a track with a vague reggaeton flavor that winks at Enrique Iglesias and annoys me. The unforgettable line ātu viso pulito, il mio pieno di botteā somewhat encapsulates the desires of anyone with intact hearing and a tad of common sense. The song would be bearable if only the audio were turned off.
N.9
āMargaritaā - Elodie feat. Marracash
Another packaging by Maria De Filippi, Elodie, who had already tried to breach the most banal cornerstones of logic with āPensare Maleā (and sing worse), an incomprehensible spring hit alongside The Kolors, returns this summer with a nice piece next to Marracash, a rapper who once acted tough but then got up close and personal and now sings things like āe se non sei te, non rispondo al cell.ā If only Tupacās spirit returned, he would run over him with a Mondeo.
N.8
āCalipsoā - Charlie Charles feat. Sfera Ebbasta, Fabri Fibra, Dardust, Mahmood
More collaborations than voters for Renziās Italia Viva, Calipso features Mahmood in the chorus and scattered throughout the song are Sfera Ebbasta, Dardust, Fabri Fibra, autotune, a Marlboro cigarette, Giovanni Rana, and Uncle Grandpa, who is the only one that gets a pass.
N.7
āDove e quandoā - Benji e Fede
āTell me where and when, from tonight I wonāt be late, without many words send the location.ā No, itās not Luis Sepulveda, nor Alda Merini. After Fukushima and the scent of Alien, reggaeton is the third leading cause of deaths in the last five years, but the news doesnāt talk about it. And these two Modenese boys take advantage of this, looking like theyāve stepped out of an H&M window with their vibe and posture, with an irritating anthem of joy that makes you want to ask Cappato for a ride, and you drive, Marco, you already know where and when.
N.6
āNuova Eraā - Jovanotti feat. Dardust
Since he had practically done every musical genre, and very poorly, Lorenzo Cherubini, unaware that he is 50, instead of shooting his chat with old flames, as one of his age should, decides to hire the pianist of the trap generation, Dardust, and comes out with a song that calling it embarrassing is a huge compliment. A passage from this work: āand when I look at you while you dance, I see parrots in the sky.ā But fuck off.
N.5
āPlayaā - Baby K
We have established that the platinum fake rapper screams Baby K before singing to give everyone a chance to change the radio station. But what we cannot avoid is the seasonal repeating of the ugly summer hit from little K (K stands for Ketamine, which is what my doctor prescribed for me back in the days of Rome-Bangkok). This year she sings solo and both...
