Here is something to browse through taken from the "Taccuino di Talamanca" Ibiza (31 July - 25 August 1966) by Emil Mihai Cioran:
Being on holiday all year round, when the real holidays come I become more aware than ever of the emptiness in which I live: it is emptiness squared, of which one is conscious at every moment, the official emptiness of my existence.
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My destiny disturbs and exasperates me, wringing constant complaints from me, as if it were possible to have another or to alter its circumstances.
To suffer calmly is a secret I vainly aspire to possess, and without which temperaments like mine are condemned to Hell.
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Tonight, completely awake around 3 a.m.
Impossible to remain in bed any longer.
I went for a walk by the sea, driven by the darkest thoughts.
And if I threw myself off the cliff?
I’ve come here for the sun, and I can’t stand the sun.
Everyone is tanned, I must remain white, pale.
While I was having all sorts of bitter thoughts, I watched those pines, those rocks, those waves “visited” by the moon, and suddenly I felt just how much I am nailed to this beautiful, accursed universe.
It was written in the summer of '66 during a stay in Ibiza, on the edge of a far from metaphorical abyss, a notebook of searing pages, among the most intense and radical ever written by the Romanian philosopher & aphorist E.M.Cioran vivo:
