JURIX

DeRank ™: 18,52

DeAge™ : 6433 days • Here since 30 october 2008

Love Contact

Final Dead Air

23 aug 11

Voto:

To listen, damn it! Like every release from the magnificent Justin.

The Beatles Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

23 aug 11

Voto:

"a harsh yet ironic critique of singers." ArmageddonGrammaticale.

Noemi Rosso Noemi

23 aug 11

Voto:

Well then, just to pretend to talk about this "recenZione": bring on the avalanche of spelling mistakes, but please, don’t write "KE".

Noemi Rosso Noemi

23 aug 11

Voto:

Doctor, I’m hard for 24 hours a day, what can you give me?
- Food, accommodation, and a thousand euros a month.

The pope dies, ascends to heaven, and finds St. Peter. "Hello Peter, I am the pope." Peter looks through a list he has in hand, looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't see you here among those who can enter..." "What do you mean? I am the pope, the vicar of God!" Peter hesitates and says, "Just a moment, I’ll go speak with God in person." But even God doesn’t know who this pope is and doesn’t know what to do, so He gets an idea: "I’ll go ask Jesus; maybe he is more informed." God goes to Jesus: nothing, even Jesus doesn’t know who the pope is, but he decides to meet him and have an interview. He comes back after 2 hours, laughing uncontrollably. Peter asks him, "Jesus, what’s so funny?" and Jesus replies, "Peter, do you remember that fishing club we founded 2011 years ago? IT STILL EXISTS!!!"

Noemi Rosso Noemi

23 aug 11

Voto:

In the hospital, an old man shouts, "Nurse, hurry, bring me some condoms!!" "Condoms? And what do you need them for, if you don't mind me asking?" "The doctor just came by on his rounds, and I heard him talking about me with a colleague saying, <THIS ONE WILL DEFINITELY GO TO HELL BY THIS EVENING>."

Noemi Rosso Noemi

23 aug 11

Voto:

A man is walking along the seafront when suddenly he hears cries.
- Help, I can't swim! I'm drowning. Help!
The man looks towards the sea and sees someone who is truly drowning. He addresses him:
- Do you speak english?
- Yes, yes! I speak english. Help me, please.
- Idiot, it would have been better if you had learned to swim than to study English.

Noemi Rosso Noemi

23 aug 11

Voto:

A little boy:
Mom, how come you are white and I am black?
Well, my son, when I think back to that party that night... thank goodness you don't bark.

The Beatles Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

23 aug 11

Voto:

BelliZZima, maybe a bit too short... oh, but is this the first part? Perfect, I look forward to the second.

Lady Gaga Born This Way

22 aug 11

Voto:

There’s JURIX going on a little trip to Jerusalem with his dear moJettina. During the vacation, JURIX dies. Then the local authorities propose to the wife: "Madam, would you like to proceed with the burial here in Jerusalem for 100 Euros? Otherwise, shipping the body to Italy would cost 15,000 Euros." She thinks about it and then decides: "I’ll ship the body to Italy." - "But why, madam?" - "You see, a long time ago, here a man died, was buried, and three days later he resurrected. I can’t take that risk."