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Rating:
Heyyyyyyy BOY how are you doing? Hopefully VERY UP.
Today I went out with my girlfriend's car, stopped at the discount store to buy two liters of sambuca, and when I got back to the car, I noticed she had put on some music. What kind of crap is this? Michael Jackson – Dangerous, she replied smugly. From here arises a damn crappy debate between the two of us, in the process of having kids in a few years, and when the discussion is about Michael Jackson, you can't help but talk about the education of the little ones. And I thank you, filthy pedophile, for stirring up the discussion with my girlfriend. Thank you for making me know her well, for giving me the time to tell her to screw off before taking the next step. This bitch loves and fiercely defends Jackson; listen to what she told me:
“Bah! I don’t believe it! But have you seen how the bleached guy really is?
He can barely stand, he staggers, he holds on to his mask, and he never leaves the house:
In my opinion, a blowjob could kill him!
Or at least paralyze him for life in a wheelchair, clearly innocent poor thing!”
Should I have kids with someone like that? I'll spare you the main points of the conversation that forced me to end the relationship, and I'll go straight to the review of Dangerous. One line: Dangerous is a colossal pile of crap extending over 12 songs and more, also known as the musical demise of the pedophile.
Now, onto the review of Michael Jackson the man, a psychotic pervert with nothing else on his mind than molesting children, paying 20 million dollars to their parents to keep quiet, not having a nose, and looking just like Liz Taylor. But in the end, who cares? He released a lot of great albums, right? Screw him.
Now I'll pretend to be an interviewer and imagine an interview that I would do with Jacko along with his responses:
Vic: One day you look in the mirror and decide you need some makeup and to get in shape. What do you do?
Jacko: I paint my face white, chop off half my nose, insert two damn steel plates in my cheekbones, get someone to hammer my skull so my eyes pop out more, and, the icing on the cake, a nice polish on the lips of the damn filthy black guy I am.
Vic: A friend asks you to keep an eye on his kids, it's bedtime, how do you handle it?
Jacko: I fill the brats with drugs, when they’re half gone, I toss them on my heart-shaped bed and make them jerk me off, you filthy bastard.
Vic: You've just become a father and your fans want to see your child. What do you do?
Jacko: I put a damn towel on the brat's head and then swing him from the fifth-floor balcony of a damn Berlin hotel, the brat whines and kicks because he’s shitting himself out of fear, but no problem... in a year or two, this will seem like a walk in the park for him.
Vic: Are you white?
Jacko: Errrr... no. Are you, damn it? Black... no... listen, it's a damn rare skin disease. So rare that I’m the only fool in the world to have contracted it. Try to find it in any damn pathology book, screw it.
Vic: You're involved in a trial for serious charges of child molestation. How do you prove your innocence?
Jacko: I get in touch with O.J. Simpson's lawyer and make sure they convince the kid's parents to take a 20 million dollar check to shut them up. Even though I didn’t do a damn thing, okay? OK? I paid all that dough to a little punk I never touched to stay quiet about something I never did anyway! And still, the little son of a bitch knows I have a mark on my dick since I was born, filthy lying son of a bitch.
Vic: You decide it's time to settle down and get married. Who do you marry?
Jacko: A damn nurse I’ve never seen before, so she can crap out kids for me to molest later on. I shelled out a few million dollars to convince her because, to be honest, who the hell else would marry me? Oh yes... Elvis Presley’s daughter.
Vic: Which famous person do you want to look like?
Jacko: Elizabeth Taylor because, just like me, she's an old damn cart that Beverly Hills surgeons have sawed and polished half to pieces.
Vic: You have a deep cut on your cheek from an accident, how do you care for it?
Jacko: Damn glue.
Vic: You have 3 kids, what are their names?
Jacko: Prince Michael Louis XIV, Madrid Barcelona Princess Michael III, Attila the Scourge of God Yasser Arafat Bill Clinton Pope Innocent the Third Carlo Azeglio Ciampi Orietta Berti the Terrible IV, you damn shithead.
Vic: Describe your home.
Jacko: A damn amusement park with a zoo I named "Neverland" where I make out with twelve-year-olds.
Vic: Describe your family.
Jacko: Superb! I’ve never had parents who beat or sexually abused me when I didn't feel like singing. What the hell did you say? I'll sue you, sack of shit! Even if you’re my sister and your name is La Troya the shit, whore bastard daughter of the whore....
Vic: Despite your obvious eheheh innocence, there are still some who think you're a damn pedophile son of a bitch. How do you prove them wrong?
Jacko: Yes, I have a damn amusement park at my home, I invite the kids over all the time and screw them at night, then I go to Las Vegas to shoot a damn music video while Santa Barbara police search Neverland for 13 hours, I don’t show up at the sheriff's office for over 48 hours, and end up paying 3 million dollars so I don’t spend the night in jail where some black dude from the Black Panthers serving 30 years for terrorism with the Weathermen might screw me like Arizona Mills because he doesn't like me.
Vic: What’s your religion?
Jacko: I'm a Jehovah's Witness because it’s a religion that protects 40,000 pedophiles and I’m one of them, screw it. Vic: When you die and go up to heaven what’s the first thing you want to see?
Jacko: Baby Jesus
Vic: What’s brown and in many kids' underwear?
Jacko: My hand
Vic: Jacko amigo, let’s joke around a bit now, let's lighten the mood, name me 3 ways to screw a woman
Jacko: The French way: you do it by grabbing her hair; the Italian way: you do it by grabbing her boobs; the Michael Jackson way: you do it by grabbing her backpack.
END OF INTERVIEW If you, like my ex-girlfriend, aspire to become a Michael Jackson type or his damn fan, practice throwing kids out of some damn hotel window in Germany, lying about your skin color and getting 50 damn facial surgeries, trying stealing others' songs, Albano and Prince first and foremost, but also softened Beastie Boys, believing you're Peter Pan to have a solid philosophical basis (FREUD) for molesting kids. BEST OF LUCK with raped sons.
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
01 Jam (05:38)
Music by Rene Moore, Bruce Swedien, Michael Jackson and Teddy Riley.
Song and Lyrics by Michael Jackson.
Produced by Michael Jackson, Teddy Riley and Bruce Swedien.
Michael Jackson & Heavy D
Jam
------------------------------
One two three...
(Intro: Background Voices)
...Nation to nation all the world must come together
Face the problems that we see then maybe somehow we can work it out
I asked my neighbour for a favor she said later
What has come of all the people have we lost love of what it's about
I have to find my peace 'cause no one seems to let me be
Fal' prophets cry of doom what are the possibilities
I told my brother there'll be problem time and tears for fears
We must leave each day like is today
Go with it go with it
Jam
It ain't too much stuff
Jam
It ain't too much
It ain't too much for me to
Jam
It ain't
It ain't too much stuff
Jam
It ain't don't you
It ain't too much for me to
The world keeps changing rearranging minds and thoughts
Predictions fly of doom the baby boom has come of age we'll work it out
I told my brothers don't you ask me for no favors
I'm conditioned by the system don't ya talk to me or scream and shout
She prays to God to Buddha then she sings a talmud song
Confusions contradict the self do we know right from wrong
I just want you to recognize me in the temple
You can't hurt me I found peace within myself
Go with it go with it
Jam
It ain't
It ain't too much stuff
Jam
It ain't too much
It ain't too much for me to
Jam
It ain't
It ain't too much stuff
Jam
It ain't don't you
It ain't too much for me to
Jam
A-ha
It ain't too much stuff
Jam
It ain't too much
It ain't too much for me to
Jam
It ain't too
It ain't too much stuff
Jam
It ain't don't you
It ain't too much for me to
Haw
Jam jam here comes the man hot damn
The big boy stands movin' up a hand
Makin' funky tracks with my man Michael Jackson
Smooth criminal that the man is Mike so relaxed
Jingle mingle jingle in the jungle
Bum rushed the door three and four's in a bundle
03 In the Closet (06:32)
[Naomi Campbell]
There's something
I have to say to you
If you promise you'll
Understand
I cannot contain myself
When in your presence
I'm so humble
Touch me
Don't hide our love
Woman to man
[Michael]
She's just a lover
Who's doin' me by
Is it worth a giving
Is it worth the try
You cannot cleave it
Put it in the furnace
I do not wet it
You cannot burn it
She wants to give
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
Dare me
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
She wants to give it
(She wants to give it)
Yeah
(All, she wants to give it)
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
It's just a feeling
You have to soothe it
You can't neglect it
You can't abuse it
It's just desire
You cannot waste it
Then, if you want it
Then, why don’t you taste it
She wants to give
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
Dare me
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
She's gonna get it
(She wants to give it)
Yeah
(All, she wants to give it)
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
[Naomi Campbell]
One thing in life
You must understand
The truth of lust
Woman to man
So open the door
And you will see
There are no secrets
To make you move
Set me free
[Michael]
Aah, because there's something
About you baby
That makes me want
To give it to you
I swear there's something
About you baby
Ooh, uh..
Just promise me
Whatever we say
Or whatever we do
To each other
(What ever we do)
For now we'll make a vow
To just
Keep it in the closet
If you can get it
It's worth a try
I really want it
I can't deny
It's just desire
I really love it
[Naomi Campbell]
'Cause if it's aching
You have to rub it
[Michael]
She wants to give
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
Dare me
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
She's gonna get it
(She wants to give it)
Yeah
(All, she wants to give it)
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
[Naomi Campbell]
Just open the door
And you will see
This passion burns
Inside of me
Don't say to me
You never tell
Touch me there
Make the move
Cast the spell
[Michael]
Aah, because there's something
About you baby
That makes me want
To give it to you
I swear there's something
About you baby
That makes me want
Just promise me
Whatever we say
Or do to each other
(What ever we do)
For now we'll make
A vow to just
Keep it in the closet
Dare me
Ooh!
Because there's something
About you baby
That makes me want
To give it to you
Because there's something
About you baby
That makes me want
To give it to you
I swear there's something
(Hello, now!)
About you baby
That makes me want
To give it to you
(Hello baby!)
I swear there's something
About you baby
That makes me want
(Hello now, hello..)
To give it to you
(Hello babe, hello baby..)
I swear there's something
About you baby
That makes me want
To give it to you
(Hee, hee-hee!)
Somethin' about you baby
That makes me want
Just promise me
Whatever we say
Or whatever we do to (yey)
Each other
(What ever we do)
For now we'll make a vow
To just
Keep it in the closet
(She wants to give it)
Dare me
(All)
Keep it in the closet
(She wants to give it)
Dare me
(All)
Keep it in the closet
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
Dare me
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
(Keep it in the closet)
(She wants to give it)
Dare me
(She wants to give it)
(All, she wants to give it)
(She wants to give it)
Keep it in the closet
(She wants to give it)
(She wants to give it)
Keep it in the closet
She wants to give it
All, she wants to give it
08 Black or White (04:16)
Written and Composed by Michael Jackson.
Rap Lyrics by Bill Bottrell.
Produced by Michael Jackson and Bill Bottrell.
Aaow
Aaow
I Took My Baby
On A Saturday Bang
Boy Is That Girl With You
Yes We're One And The Same
Now I Believe In Miracles
And A Miracle
Has Happened Tonight
Hee
But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White
Ooo..
They Print My Message
In The Saturday Sun
I Had To Tell Them
I Ain't Second To None
And I Told About Equality
An It's True
Either You're Wrong
Or You're Right
Aooo
But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White
Hee
Go, yeah
Hee, hee
I Am Tired Of This Devil
I Am Tired Of This Stuff
I Am Tired Of This Business
Sew When The
Going Gets Rough
I Ain't Scared Of
Your Brother
I Ain't Scared Of No Sheets
I Ain't Scare Of Nobody
Girl When The
Goin' Gets Mean
(L. T. B. Rap Performance)
Protection
For Gangs, Clubs
And Nations
Causing Grief In
Human Relations
It's A Turf War
On A Global Scale
I'd Rather Hear Both Sides
Of The Tale
See, It's Not About Races
Just Places
Faces
Where Your Blood
Comes From
Is Where Your Space Is
I've Seen The LIGHT
Get Duller
I'm Not Going To Spend
My Life Being A Color
(Michael)
Don't Tell Me You Agree With Me
When I Saw You Kicking Dirt In My Eye
Hee, hee
But, If
You're Thinkin' About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White
I Said If
You're Thinkin' Of
Being My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White
I Said If
You're Thinkin' Of
Being My Brother
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White
No, no ,alright
Ooh, Ooh
Alright
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Now
Alright ,alright
Ooh, Ooh
Shomon
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Now
Alright
Ooh, Ooh
It's Black, It's White
It's Tough For You
To Get By
It's Black , It's White, Whoo
Ooh, Ooh
It's Black, It's White
It's Tough For You
To Get By
It's Black , It's White, Whoo
14 Dangerous (06:59)
Written and Composed by Michael Jackson, Bill Bottrell and Teddy Riley.
Produced by Teddy Riley and Michael Jackson.
The Way She Came Into The Place
I Knew Right Then And There
There Was Something Different
About This Girl
The Way She Moved
Her Hair, Her Face, Her Lines
Divinity In Motion
As She Stalked The Room
I Could Feel The Aura
Of Her Presence
Every Head Turned
Feeling Passion And Lust
The Girl Was Persuasive
The Girl I Could Not Trust
The Girl Was Bad
The Girl Was Dangerous
I Never Knew But I Was
Walking The Line
Come Go With Me
I Said I Have No Time
And Don't You Pretend We Didn't
Talk On The Phone
My Baby Cried
She Left Me Standing Alone
She's So Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
Take Away My Money
Throw Away My Time
You Can Call Me Honey
But You're No Damn Good For Me
She Came At Me In Sections
With The Eyes Of Desire
I Fell Trapped Into Her
Web Of Sin
A Touch, A Kiss
A Whisper Of Love
I Was At The Point
Of No Return
Deep In The Darkness Of
Passion's Insanity
I Felt Taken By Lust's
Strange Inhumanity
This Girl Was Persuasive
This Girl I Could Not Trust
The Girl Was Bad
The Girl Was Dangerous
I Never Knew
But I Was Living In Vain
She Called My House
She Said You Know My Name
And Don't You Pretend
You Never Did Me Before
With Tears In Her Eyes
My Baby Walked Out The Door
She's So Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
Take Away My Money
Throw Away My Time
You Can Call Me Honey
But You're No Damn Good For Me
Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
I Have To Pray To God
'Cause I Know How
Lust Can Blind
It's A Passion In My Soul
But You're No Damn Lover
Friend Of Mine
I Can not Sleep Alone Tonight
My Baby Left Me Here Tonight
I Cannot Cope 'Til It's All Right
You And Your Manipulation
You Hurt My Baby
And Then It Happened
She Touched Me
For The Lips Of
A Strange Woman
Drop As A Honeycomb
And Her Mouth Was
Smoother Than Oil
But Her Inner Spirit And Words
Were As Sharp As
A Two-Edged Sword
But I Loved It
'Cause It's Dangerous
Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
Take Away My Money
Throw Away My Time
You Can Call Me Honey
But You're No Damn Good For Me
Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
Take Away My Money
Throw Away My Time
You Can Call Me Honey
But You're No Damn Good For Me
Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
Take Away My Money
Throw Away My Time
You Can Call Me Honey
But You're No Damn Good For Me
Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
I Have To Pray To God
'Cause I Know How
Lust Can Blind
It's A Passion In My Soul
But You're No Damn Lover
Friend Of Mine
(Ad Libs Out)
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Other reviews
By rebel1
Imagine you turn on the stereo to relax after the classic crappy day, and you start to feel the singer’s soul flowing through your body.
"Heal the World" is incredible—the feeling of peace it gives you is unmatched, a true hymn to world peace.
By ronnie92
It almost seems that after the separation, Mike lost his gritty 80s style to make way for the softer style that inevitably worsened over time.
Could it be the beginning of the decline?
By lucumine74
This is certainly the best pop music album from 1991 until today.
'Heal the World' is one of the most beautiful songs in music history, it’s a moving piece.
By tommithebest
Michael Jackson’s best album. And that should suffice.
'Who Is It' is a MASTERPIECE full of mystery, harmony, and emotional depth.
By magico
"Dangerous can be considered the last, great album of the 'King of Pop.'"
"A record with hints of rock, funk, r n’ b, rap, and pop without being any of it, a record that sold millions of copies and can be considered Jackson’s last total masterpiece."
