GUGLIELMO EPIFANI

AFTER LISTENING TO THE REPUGNANTLY FANTASTIC TRACK ON HIS WEBSITE, THE UNION IS PROUD TO SAY THAT IT IS CONFIDENT THAT THE TWO REVIEWS OF THIS HORRENDOUSLY SUPERB ALBUM WERE WRITTEN BY COMRADE AGGHIASTRU HIMSELF. GIVEN THE MAJESTY OF THE AGGHIASTRUTESQUE WORK, MEMBERS ARE AUTHORIZED TO CARRY OUT PROLETARIAN EXPROPRIATION AGAINST THE RECORD STORES THAT WILL HAVE THE FORTUNE TO SELL COPIES OF THE ALBUM, IN ORDER TO DISTRIBUTE THEM FREE OF CHARGE TO EVERYONE SO THAT THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY CAN ENJOY THE BENEFITS EFFECTS DERIVED FROM LISTENING TO IT.

SHOULD IT BE OCTOPUS ALLA LUCIANA?

ACCORDING TO THE UNION, BEHIND COMRADE AGGHIASTRU HIDES PIPPO BAUDO.

GREAT COMPANION KATHARINFRANGENTS, ONLY NOW THE UNION HAS NOTICED THE OTHER GROUPS IT HAS REVIEWED, NAMELY THE WONDERFUL BORKNAGAR, THE IMMENSE DODHEIMSGARD, THE PHANTASMAGORIC EINHERJER, AND THE PLANETARY SOLSTAFIR.
THE UNION ALSO RECOMMENDS LISTENING TO OTHER ENCHANTINGLY INCOMMENSURABLE GROUPS OF THE SAME GENRE SUCH AS THE VKLJSKFHI7UREY, THE LKJHIURTòJOWE, THE JKAYER???, AND FINALLY, THE PIOEU2IERY+QRèEHJHRQ.

WOW, WHAT A HUGE SUCCESS THIS REVIEW IS, BRO KATHARINFRANGETS.
NEXT TIME, STRONK ME THE IRON MAIDEN.

BITCH!

GREAT SICILIAN COMPANION AGGHIASTRU, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T PLAY, CAN'T SING, CAN'T COOK, AND CAN'T DO THE "O" WITH A GLASS, YOU STILL REMAIN AN EXCELLENT MUSICIAN AS WELL AS AN IMMENSE LYRICIST.
THE UNION WILL SOON PROPOSE TO YOU THE LYRICS FOR THE ANTHEM OF THE CGIL HEADQUARTERS IN ACIREALE.
THE MUSIC, INSTEAD, WILL BE ASSIGNED TO THE ILLUSTRIOUS ROMOLO SPENNASPADU, AMONG THE MOST FEARED ILLEGAL FISHERMEN, WHILE THE ARRANGEMENTS WILL BE BY TERESA GNOCCANERA, FROM TRAPANI BUT OF CLEAR CUBAN ORIGINS.

GREAT COMRADE DEATH IN AUGUST, EVEN THE SECRETARY OF THE UNION, WHEN HE WANTS TO GRANT HIMSELF SOME RELAXATION AND THINK ABOUT HOW TO GET OUT OF THE BIG INSTITUTIONAL CRISIS BETWEEN THE MAGISTRACY AND POLITICS, GOES FOR A WALK "among the statues and the greenery of an isolated cemetery."
EVEN THE UNION, THEREFORE, ASSOCIATES ITSELF WITH COMRADE DEATH IN AUGUST, KNOWN AMONG FRIENDS AS JOY OF LIVING FOR HIS LIVELY GOLIARDIC SPIRIT AND PLAYFUL SOUL, IN THANKS TO THIS DISCO THAT MAKES US SMELL THE SWEET INTENSE AROMA OF BLOOMING CHRYSANTHEMUMS AND CYPRESSES.
IN DOING ALL THIS, IT AUTHORIZES BY A BOARD RESOLUTION ALL MEMBERS, SHOULD THEY SO WISH, TO GIVE THANKS TO THIS DISCO WITH ONE HAND AND WITH THE OTHER TO SCRATCH THEMSELVES, ALWAYS AS A SIGN OF GRATITUDE.

LIVE THE TRUE HEAVY FUCKING SODOMIZER METAL IN THE GREAT HEART OF THE BIG GREAT MOTHERFUCKING KIDS WITH UP UP THE IRON IN THE GREATEST BIG FUCKING WORLD!!!!!!!!

GREAT COMPANION GIANLUCA PIASTRINA, HIS SEX APPEAL COMBINED WITH THE FAME OF A CHARISMATIC LADIES' MAN WHO MADE A NAME FOR HIMSELF SINGING AT THE PATRON SAINT FESTIVALS IN SMALL TOWNS OF TRIVENETO AND AT WEDDINGS IN THE NAPOLI SUBURBS, HAS FINALLY BROUGHT HIM THE GRAND AND DESERVED POPULARITY THAT EVERYONE CHEERED FOR.
HIS MAGNETIC GAZE HAS CAPTURED THE DESIRES OF NUMEROUS FANS, STEALING THEM AWAY FROM THE PRESENT EPIFANI, WHO IN RESPONSE EXPELLED HER FROM THE UNION.
HOWEVER, SINCE WE ARE IN A PERIOD WHERE THE WATCHWORD IS "RECONCILIATION," THE UNION WILL TAKE A STEP TOWARDS HER BY APPOINTING HIM AS ITS REPRESENTATIVE IN THAILAND, WHERE HE WILL BE FREE TO CONTINUE HIS CAREER SINGING IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICTS IN THE COMPANY OF OTHER ILLUSTRIOUS COLLEAGUES LIKE GINO FORMAGGINO, THE GREAT CALABRIAN SINGER-SONGWRITER OF SARDINIAN FOLK MUSIC, VALERIANO SORIANO AND HIS ROCK BAND "I GATTI RANDAGI," AND THE LEGENDARY SINGER-SONGWRITER RITA SENZONORE, WHO REACHED SUCCESS THANKS TO HER FLIRTATION WITH THE UNDERSIGNED.