Yosif

good review, the album, like them, has never really appealed to me that much, too exaggerated a rating, the best: indestructible, david courtney, out of control, born frustrated, and menphis.

A 60-year-old woman returns home and hears strange noises coming from her 40-year-old daughter's room. She enters and sees her playing with a vibrator: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" exclaims the mother! "Mom, look at me! I'm 40, I'm ugly, and I will never get married! This will be my husband from now on!" The mother exits shaking her head and crying. The next day, the father comes home and hears noises from his daughter's room, and when he enters, he sees her using the vibrator. "What the hell are you doing?" he yells! And she says: "I already told Mom: I'm ugly, I'm 40, and I'll never have my own man, so this will be my husband!" The father exits shaking his head. The next day, the mother enters and sees her husband with a can of beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other while watching a football game on TV. "For God's sake, what are you doing??" she says while crying! And he replies: "What do you think I'm doing? I'm watching TV and having a beer with my son-in-law!!"

A plane crashes on an island, and the only three survivors are captured by a local cannibal tribe. The three survivors ask for a chance to be released, and the tribe agrees; they are sent to collect 10 fruits, all of the same type... After 5 minutes, the first one returns with 10 apples... at this point, the conditions are given: "You have to stick each fruit into your a** and at the first grimace, you’ll be boiled in a pot..." First apple... nothing. Second apple... nothing. Third apple... into the pot.
The second returns with 10 blackberries, same conditions: First... second... third... fourth... fifth... sixth... seventh... eighth... ninth... he reaches the tenth, he almost made it but... bursts out laughing...
The two meet again in heaven, and the first one asks the second: "Sorry, but you were so close, why did you start laughing?" And the second replies, "Because I saw the other one coming back with 10 WATERMELONS."

Two old friends run into each other after 20 years; they hadn't seen each other since high school.
One says to the other, "So???? How are you??? What are you up to in life??? Come on, tell me, tell me...."
The friend replies, "Well, I'm doing well... I graduated and married a very wealthy wife; she's not exactly beautiful, but she provides me with vacations, nice cars, and designer clothes... But enough about me, what are you doing with your life???"
The friend responds, "Well, I haven't been as lucky as you... I haven't found a woman, and now I'm a magician!"
The married friend replies, astonished, "No way!!! You were making up stories in high school; I can't believe you've become a magician!"
The magician says, "I swear! Do you want a quick demonstration?"
Curious, the friend agrees, "Sure, let's see..."
The magician instructs him to turn around and pull down his pants....
Despite feeling a bit embarrassed, the other complies.
The magician positions himself behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders (like a little train...) and says, "Do you feel this finger in your a**???"
And the friend replies, "YES!!!!!!!!"
And the magician says, "And look where my hands are though....."

An elderly gentleman goes to the doctor, and the doctor asks, "Tell me, sir, how do you spend your day?"
The elderly man replies, "In the morning, my wife and I wake up and have a little sex, then we go out for groceries, come back home, and have a bit more sex. We eat, take a nap in the afternoon, and then have some more sex. We also go out for a walk in the afternoon, come back home, and have even more sex. We have dinner and after dinner, we go out for an evening walk. We return home and before going to sleep, we have a little more sex."
The doctor asks, "But what do you mean by a little sex?"
"A PAIN IN THE ASS, DOCTOR."

A girl walks into a bar where she sees the sign 'help wanted.'
"Hello, I’m interested in that job..." The owner looks at her and says:
"Yeah, you’d be good, you’re pretty... maybe too pretty! You might have some issues..."
She replies: "Don’t worry, I’m used to it..."
"But you see, people come here who might get too handsy."
She says: "It’s fine, where I worked before was worse!"
"But here, there’s a risk they might tear your clothes off!"
She responds: "It’s fine, really, where I worked before was worse!"
"Yeah, but they might even make you lie on a table and do awful things to you!"
She replies: "It’s fine, honestly, where I worked before was worse!"
And the owner asks: "Oh my God, what did they do to you?"
"Well, they sprinkled salt on my pussy to make the customers thirsty!"

In a convent, the superior calls all the other nuns for an urgent matter: she begins her speech sternly: - Sisters, perhaps you don't know that a few days ago a man entered our convent... and all the nuns, astonished: - Ooooooooh... and one nun among them, smirking: - Eheheheheheh... - and it appears that this man entered the room of one of you... and all: - Ooooooooh... and one: - Eheheheheheh... - and it seems he has also sinned with one of you!! And all: - Ooooooooooh... and one: - Eheheheheheh... - Too bad that this man has AIDS!! And all: - eheheheheheh!! And one: - oooooooooooh...!!

A Chinese man walks into a bar, approaches the counter, and says to the Black bartender:
- Give me a beer, n****r!
The terrified bartender replies:
- Do you have any idea how what you just said makes me feel? I would expect this from a white person, but not from a representative of another ethnic minority. Damn! Let's do a test... come behind the counter and I'll show you how it feels!
The Chinese man agrees and goes behind the counter, switching places with the bartender. The bartender bangs his fist on the counter and says:
- Give me a beer, yellow!
- I'm sorry... we don't serve n****rs!

"Doctor, I have an ongoing erection, day and night, 24 hours a day, can you give me something?"
"Board, lodging, and 1000 Euros a month, I really can't give you more!"

In a hotel, a man bumps into a lady's chest.
He: "If your heart is as soft as your breast, you will know how to forgive me."
She: "If your bird is as hard as your elbow, room 241!!!"