JURIX

It depends on where you're from, that’s how you pair a native wine. Then it depends on what type of meat the ragù is made from; it changes a lot if it's domestic animals or game. Finally, it depends on the wood that the chair you’re sitting on is made from, so you can match it to the wood of the barrel containing the wine.
Personal advice: 2 bee ombre de un bon Merlot and NEVER GO WRONG, zioken!

Wine List
"Sparkling Wines and Champagne"
Charmat Method
Prosecco di Valdobbiadene Doc Extra Dry
Prod.: Cantine Bortolotti Grad: 11.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Prosecco di Valdobbiadene
Spumante Cincinnato Brut
Prod.: Cantina Cincinnato Grad: 11.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Bellone
Classic Method
Franciacorta Brut "Saten" Docg
Prod.: Bonomi "Tenuta Castellino" Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Chardonnay
Franciacorta "Dosage Zero" Brut Docg
Prod.: Ca' del Bosco Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Chardonnay, Pinot Nero, Pinot Bianco
Champagne
Champagne Maillart Premier Cru Brut
Prod.: Maison Maillart Grad.: 12.5% Vol. Grape Varieties: Pinot Noir, Chardonnay
Champagne Special Cuvee Brut
Prod.: Bollinger Grad.: 12% Vol. Grape Varieties: Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, Pinot Menieur
"Light and Medium-Bodied White Wines"
Piedmont
Roero Arneis "La Villa" Docg
Prod.: Terre da Vino Grad.: 12.5% vol. Grape Varieties: Arneis
Trentino
Muller Thurgau "Palai" Vigneti delle Dolomiti Igt
Prod.: Pojer & Sandri Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Muller Thurgau
Alto Adige
Chardonnay Alto Adige Doc
Prod.: Cantina Santa Maddalena Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Chardonnay
Friuli
Tocai Friulano Isonzo del Friuli Doc
Prod.: Davide Feresin Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Tocai Friulano
Sauvignon Collio Doc
Prod.: Mauro Drius Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Sauvignon
Tuscany
Vernaccia di San Gimignano "Vigna Aprico" Docg
Prod.: Az.agricola Le Solive Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Vernaccia di San Gimignano
Abruzzo
"Ciafrè" Controguerra Bianco Doc
Prod.: Illuminati Grad: 13.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Trebb., Passerina, Riesling, Garganega, Malvasia
Campania
Greco di Tufo Docg
Prod.: Cantina Marianna Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Greco
Sicily
Grillo "Janco di Santa Tresa" Sicilia Igt
Prod.: Feudo Santa Tresa Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Grillo
Sardinia
Vermentino di Sardegna "Terre Fenice" Doc Selezione
Prod.: Cantine Sardus Pater Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Vermentino
"Complex and Structured White Wines"
Umbria
Grechetto dei Colli Martani "Grecante" Doc
Prod.: Arnaldo Caprai Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Grechetto
Lazio
Bellone Lazio Igt
Prod.: Cantina Cincinnato Grad.: 13.5% Vol. Grape Varieties: Bellone
"Rumon" Lazio Igt
Prod.: Conte Zandotti Grad: 13.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Malvasia Puntinata
Apulia
Luna Conti Zecca Salento Igt
Prod.: Conti Zecca Grad.: 13.5% Vol. Grape Varieties: Chardonnay, Malvasia
"Medium-Bodied Red Wines"
Piedmont
Dolcetto d'Alba "Roccabella" Doc
Prod.: Terre da Vino Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Dolcetto
Trentino
Pinot Nero Vigneti delle Dolomiti Igt
Prod.: Pojer e Sandri Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Pinot Nero
Teroldego Trentino Doc
Prod.: Cantina La Vis Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Teroldego
Tuscany
Morellino Di Scansano "Campo al Rialto" Doc
Prod.: Cantina Bruni Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Sangiovese, Merlot, Alicante
Chianti Colli Senesi Docg
Prod.: Fatt. Casabianca Grad: 13.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Sangiovese, Cabernet, Merlot, Colorino
Chianti Classico "San Leonino" Docg Gallo Nero
Prod.: Tenuta San Leonino Grad: 13.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Sangiovese, Canaiolo
Chianti Classico "San Jacopo" Docg Gallo Nero
Prod.: Castello Vicchiomaggio Grad: 12.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Sangiovese, Canaiolo, Colorino
"Poggio alla Badiola" Toscana Igt
Prod.: Casello di Fonterutoli Grad: 13.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Sangiovese, Merlot, Cab. Sauv.
Umbria
"Poggio Belvedere" Umbria Igt
Prod.: Arnaldo Caprai Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Sangiovese, Ciliegiolo
Merlot "Olmeto" Umbria Igt
Prod.: Cantina Colli Amerini Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Merlot
Lazio
Petit Verdot Lazio Igt
Prod.: Casale del Giglio Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Petit Verdot
Cesanese del Piglio Doc
Prod.: Casale della Ioria Grad: 13% Vol Grape Varieties: Cesanese
Abruzzo
Montepulciano D'Abruzzo "Ilico" Doc
Prod.: Illuminati Grad: 13.5% Vol Grape Varieties: Montepulciano
Apulia
Primitivo "Cantalupi" Salento Igt
Prod.: Conti Zecca Grad: 13.5%

ARAMAIC ALPHABET:
Alaph ? a, e (Voiceless glottal stop)
Beth ? b, v
Gamal ? g, ?
Dalath ? d, ð
He ? h
Waw ? w; o, u
Zayin ? z
Heth ? [h] (Voiceless pharyngeal fricative)
Teth ? [t?] (emphatic)
Yodh ? j; i, e
Kaph ? / ? k, x
Lamadh ? l
Mim ? / ? m
Nun ? / ? n
Samekh ? s
Ayin / ‘E ? (Voiced pharyngeal fricative)
Pe ? / ? p, f
Tsade , ? / ? [s?]
Qoph ? q (Voiceless uvular stop)
Resh ? r
Shin ? ?
Taw ? t, ?

I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that.

òGENOO: with the difference that religions have invented many and have (almost) always caused wars and destruction, there is only one science and there have never been "Science wars"...

VIEWS OF LIFE
The story: A boy and a girl have been in a relationship for 4 months. On a Friday evening, they meet at their usual bar after work. After a while, they decide to go eat something at a little restaurant near his house. They eat, go to his place, and she stays for the night.
Her version:
Marco had a strange mood when I arrived at the bar; I thought it was because I was late, but he didn’t talk much about it. The conversation wasn’t really flowing, so I thought that maybe a more intimate place would help uncover the problem. So, we went to that restaurant, and he continued to be a bit elusive. I tried to pamper him a bit and started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I even asked him, but he replied that no, nothing was wrong with me. But you see, that didn't reassure me. So, in the taxi on the way to his place, I told him I love him, and he put his arm around my neck. I didn’t know what that meant because he didn’t respond when I said I love him. So, when we got to his house, I started to think that maybe he was trying to distance himself from me. I tried to ask him, but he responded by turning on the television. Then I told him I was going to sleep, and after about 10 minutes, he joined me, and we made love, but he stayed distant. Afterward, I wanted to leave, and I don’t know; I don’t know what to think anymore. Do you think he’s seeing someone else?
His version:
A shitty day at the office, great fuck last night...

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU HAVE 2 COWS
FEUDALISM: You have 2 cows. Your lord takes part of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with all the other cows. You must take care of all the cows. The government gives you exactly the milk you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with all the other cows. A group of former chicken farmers takes care of them. You must take care of the chickens taken from the former chicken farmers. The government gives you exactly the milk and eggs that regulations state you need.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them and together you share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
SINGAPORE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. The government fines you for unauthorized possession of two farm animals in an apartment.
MILITARY REGIME: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and recruits you into the army.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbors appoint someone to decide who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for it. After the elections, the president is impeached for speculating on "cattle futures." The press dubs the scandal "Cowgate."
ENGLISH DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep brain and they go mad. The government does nothing.
BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. At first, the government stipulates how you must feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Later, it takes both, kills one, milks the other, and throws away the milk. Eventually, it forces you to fill out some forms reporting the missing cows.
ANARCHY: You have 2 cows. Either you sell them at a fair price, or your neighbors try to kill you to get the cows.
CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell three to your publicly traded company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank. Then you start a debt-equity swap with an IPO, and manage to get all four cows back with a tax write-off for maintaining five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred through a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company owned by the majority shareholder, who resells to your Spa the rights to the milk of all seven cows. The annual balance sheet states that the company owns eight cows, with an option to buy another. In the meantime, you kill the two cows because the milk is bad.
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have 2 cows. The government prohibits you from milking or killing them.
FEMINISM: You have 2 cows. They get married and adopt a calf.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. The milk is outlawed.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are in a relationship (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of a failed, phallocentric, warlike, and intolerant past) with two bovines of different ages (but equally precious to society) and of unspecified gender.
COUNTERCULTURE: Hey, dude... like, there are two cows. Oh! You really need to take a hit of this milk.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government forces you to take accordion lessons.

Why did the CHICKEN cross the road?
ANOTHER CHICKEN
Because it saw a hen.
PRE-SCHOOL TEACHER:
To get to the other side of the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is in the nature of the chicken to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was historically inevitable.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
It was an unprovoked act by the rebels and we therefore had every right to throw 50 tons of nerve gas at it.
CLINTON:
I never had sexual relations with that chicken.
RONALD REAGAN:
I don't remember.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES:
Due to excessive pancreatic slowness.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
The deregulation on the chicken's side of the road threatened its dominant market position. The chicken faced significant challenges in developing the competencies required to tackle new competitive markets. In close collaboration with the client, Andersen Consulting helped the chicken formulate a physical distribution strategy and a conversion process. Using the Bird Integration Model (BIM), Andersen assisted the chicken in employing its capabilities, methodologies, knowledge, capital, and experience to direct the chicken's employees, processes, and technologies toward the conversion of its overall strategy within Program Management. Andersen Consulting utilized a teamwork made up of road analysts and the best chickens, as well as Andersen consultants with considerable experience in transportation, who in two days of meetings and brainstorming brought their knowledge, both tacit and explicit, to a common level and created synergies to achieve the predetermined goal, that is, a managerial Value system within the average bird's processing. The meetings took place in a park to achieve an effective testing atmosphere, based on the projected strategy, focused on the analyzed sector, leading to clear and consistent market assumptions. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken reposition itself for greater success.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I have a dream that one day all chickens will be free to cross roads without their motives being questioned.
MOSES:
And God came down from heaven and said to the chicken, "You must cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was great rejoicing.
FOX MULDER:
You saw the chicken cross the road with your own eyes. How many chickens must cross the road before you believe?
RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI:
The important thing is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The crossing of the road justifies any possible motive.
FREUD:
The fact that you ask why the chicken crossed the road expresses your subconscious sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:
I just launched the new Chicken Office 2000, which not only crosses the road but also lays eggs, manages important documents, and handles your bank account.
DARWIN:
Chickens were selected by nature over a long period to be genetically able to cross roads.
EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved under the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
BUDDHA:
By that very question, you deny your chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
BELGIUM:
After crossing the road, it died of exhaustion and not from dioxin feed.
COCA-COLA:
It burped high-quality carbon dioxide.
ADLER:
It’s the chicken’s neurosis that pushed it to cross the road to gain the upper hand over other chickens.
NIETZSCHE:
Of course, it's a superchicken.
HITLER:
The Aryan chicken not only crosses the road but will rule the world.
LIEH TZU:
If the chicken did not think to cross the road, it would find itself on the other side without knowing how.
PLANK:
There is a certain probability that at a given instant, the chicken is on one side of the road and on the other side as well.
HEISENBERG:
If I know where the chicken is, I don’t know how f

Dear unique teacher,
these holidays have messed me up: physically and psychologically.
Dad said that at home the crisis is like Belen Rodriguez: palpable.
So no expensive gifts.
On Christmas morning, I got up all excited like Emilio Fede on April 14, 2008, ran down the stairs and opened the gift: could it be just a book?
A book! Just imagine...
for an 8-year-old kid, bombarded by Nintendo Wii, Gormiti, Lego, crafts, and Dragon Ball gadgets,
to gift a book for Christmas is like offering Bossi federalism only for Molise: a defeat!
And wait, because the best part hasn’t arrived yet.
Do you know what book it was? "Fiat Ritmo: user manual".
The temptation to think that Santa doesn’t exist and that Dad wrapped up one of the two books we have at home is strong.
Anyway, since the kitchen table is a wonder,
and every day I spill soup on the tablecloth due to the tsunami effect the broth makes with the table’s corners
(and I add that I get a slap of sorrow that arrives as punctual as the Rai license fee),
I used the two centimeters of the book as a thickness for the leg.
It’s true that a book is always useful!
But so far I’ve only told you about the moral damage.
The physical damage is yet to come.
Yesterday, when I arrived in class, my classmate Rafaele Gobi, who is a bully and even has videos on YouTube,
told me: "Give me all the toys Santa brought you right now!"
When I showed him the user manual for the Ritmo, he told me he wouldn’t take that as a gift
and he punched me vertically on the head, like Batman!
In short, beyond the damage, the mockery.
And beyond the mockery, the befana!
Yes, because she didn’t bring me anything either!
She left me a letter on the pillow of my bed that said:
"You’ve been a naughty kid, so you deserved coal.
But being a finite resource over the course of 200 years
and considering that the Russians are already cutting supplies, it’s better to save.
This year, therefore, I’m bringing you nothing: keep sucking on last year's mints.
Best regards, the befana."
So I guess I won’t get my hopes up for Christmas anymore.
Last year I was gifted a scoop and bucket on December 25. With a little note:
"You wanted a handheld device, but for the sea, this will do just fine!"
Best regards, unique teacher!

- What is an optimist?
- He is an ill-informed pessimist.
???????
- Pietro is walking a snail on a leash.
- "Hi Pietro!" - greets a friend - "You have a beautiful snail."
- "I had an even prettier one, but it got away."
???????
- Two doctors after a conference end up in bed together. In the end, he says:
- "From the skills of your hands, I bet you are a gynecologist!"
- "And you are an anesthetist!"
- "How do you know?"
- "I didn't feel a thing!"
???????
- The gynecologist to a prostitute:
- "Do you have a lot of discharge during your cycle?"
- "Well, more than 2 million!"
- A Formula One driver dies during a race and goes to Heaven. The place is beautiful, but he gets bored and asks Saint Peter if he can drive a car one more time. Saint Peter grants his wish but gives him a Fiat 500 that can't go faster than 40 km/h. Happy, the driver starts cruising around Heaven when a Ferrari with a plate "NA" zooms past him at high speed. Annoyed that a stranger is given preference, the driver goes to Saint Peter:
- "But why, if in Heaven we are all equal, did you give me a Fiat 500 that doesn't go and gave a madman a Ferrari with a Naples license plate that races at full speed?"
- "First of all, it wasn't a Naples plate, but Nazareth. Second, the boss's son does whatever the hell he wants!"
???????
- A 5-year-old girl goes to her mom and asks: "Mommy, what do I have here?", pointing between her legs.
- The mom, a bit embarrassed: "A little butterfly, dear."
- And the girl: "But right on my fanny!?"
???????
- During Catechism time, the priest asks the children: "Remember that good children say their prayers every evening." One child replies:
- "My mom and dad always say their prayers!"
- The priest is curious: "And what prayers do they say?"
- "My mom says: 'My God, I'm coming!' and my dad: 'Christ, wait for me!'"
???????
A lady hops onto a bus. She nervously checks the stops and keeps bouncing. She sees stop 17, jumps off quickly, enters a sex shop, and while still bouncing asks the clerk:
- "Do you sell vibrators?"
- "Of course!" replies the clerk.
- "And do you happen to provide assistance?"
???????
- A lady wants to buy a vibrator. She goes into a sex shop and asks to see some. The clerk shows her several, after which he asks:
- "Which one would you like?"
- The lady thinks for a moment, then points to the one hanging on the wall.
- "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't sell you the fire extinguisher!!!"
???????
- A vampire with two corpses on his shoulders knocks on a morgue door. From inside:
- "What do you want?"
- "I brought back the empties!"
???????
- A man walks around the city with a cage in hand and inside is a tiny little man who makes a lot of noise. The man meets a friend who asks what he has in the cage.
- "I found a lamp, I rubbed it and a Genie came out..." - "Really? Let me try too!"
- "No, it's a genie with some problems... half deaf and half stupid... It’s not worth it!"
- But the friend insists, rubs the lamp, and as soon as the Genie appears, he asks for 3 billion... The Genie tries but ends up making 3 BILIARDS appear. The friend, astonished, asks the man with the cage for explanations.
- "But why do you think I asked for a CRAZY one 30 centimeters long?"
???????
- The Holy Father goes to Africa. He greets the children by saying:
- "I hope you will be happy to know that I brought you many gifts!"
- The poor starving children shout with joy, and the Pope continues:
- "Well: I brought you trucks full of toys!"
- Seeing the Pope surprised by the chilling silence, the local cardinal approaches and whispers:
- "You see... The children don’t eat..." And the Pope replies:
- "Oh no! If you don't eat anything, you won't get toys!"
???????
A guy, completely drunk, goes to the amusement park and on his first shot at the shoo