JURIX

Professor: "Can you tell me which mammalian organ, once excited, can reach a size six times that of the organ at rest?"
Student (noted member of C.L.) (blushing terribly): "I don't know..."
Professor: "Really? You can't think of it? Just think, it's not difficult!"
Student (growing more uncomfortable): "Nothing comes to my mind..."
Professor: "Come on, think about everyday life..."
Student (in serious embarrassment): "Well..."
"Come on miss, take the plunge!"
Student: "The penis?"
(A roar erupts in the classroom)
Professor (calmly): "Congratulations to you and your boyfriend, miss. However, the organ is the pupil."

The children were photographed in class, and the teacher tries to persuade them to buy a group photo.
"Just think how great it will be when you look at the photo and say, 'Look, there’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer now,' or 'Look at Michael; he’s a doctor now.'"
A small voice from the back of the classroom adds:
"And look at the teacher; she’s dead now."

A sparrow jumps out of the nest and, with the few basics received from its parents, starts to explore the world. It encounters a dog and asks:
- 'Who are you?'
and the dog replies:
- 'I am the wolf dog.'
- 'That can't be! Either you're a dog or you're a wolf.'
And the dog patiently explains:
- 'My mom was a she-wolf, my dad a dog, they had sex and I was born, the wolf dog.'
The sparrow, puzzled, goes to a stream to drink and sees a fish:
- 'And who are you?'
and the fish says:
- 'I am the salmon trout.'
- 'It's not possible; either you're a trout or a salmon.'
and the trout responds:
- 'My mom was a trout, my dad a salmon, they had sex and I was born.'
The little bird, confused, turns around and sees an insect:
- 'And who are you?'
and the insect says:
- 'I am the tiger mosquito...'
and the sparrow:
- 'Well, fuck off...'

An elderly lady in her eighties, still quite lively, walks into the pharmacy:
- Good morning, sir, do you have any aspirin?
- Yes, certainly.
- Do you have any pain relievers?
- Yes.
- And anti-rheumatics?
- Of course!
- Do you have Viagra?
- Yes, but you need a doctor's prescription.
- Hemorrhoid cream?
- Naturally...
- Liver soothing agents?
- No problem... but...
- Antidepressants?
- Sure, but not without a prescription!
- Sleeping pills?
- Same as above: a prescription is required!!
- Anything to help with memory?
- Yes, we have that too...
- Diapers for incontinence?
- Certainly, they are over there...
- And do you have...
- Listen, ma'am, this is one of the best pharmacies in the city, we offer all the best services. What exactly do you need?
- Well, at the end of the month I will marry Alberto, who is 95 years old: we wanted to know if we can leave our wedding list here.

A man suffering from fertility issues decides to consult a famous urologist. The doctor, after gathering all the patient's information, hands him a test tube:
- So, first of all, take this test tube, go home and bring me back a sample of your sperm. I have a lab that will do the sperm count.
- Alright, doctor. I will try to do it as soon as possible.
The man returns the next day, and the doctor greets him:
- Good morning. So, did you do it?
- No, unfortunately. I went home yesterday and shut myself in the bathroom. I tried with my right hand until I got tired. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing worked. I tried again with my right hand to no avail. At that point, I called my wife, hoping she would have better luck. She tried with her right hand but didn’t succeed. Then she tried with her left... but still nothing. So I told her to try with her mouth; she did, but it didn’t help at all. Desperate, we called the Filipina!
She also tried first with her right hand and then with her left... but nothing! I even told her to try with her mouth, poor thing, she gave it her all, but she couldn't do anything at all. You wouldn't believe it, but in the end, my wife and the Filipina tried together... nothing came of that either.
Doctor... how the hell do you open this test tube???

I mean, let me get this straight, you read an entire piece of crap like that? I’d rather listen to the soundtrack of a porn movie.

Great. Beautiful propoZta and thank you for the assurance that in 2112 there will still be cherry tomatoes in oil.

I don't rate the album. I don't rate the review. I rate the fact that you gave it a 5. As the legendary Prof. Fontecedro used to say: DISGUSTORAMA.

What a beautiful propoZta...

Well, I deleted paid commitments, but I spent 8 hours reading this discussion that opened my eyes to things that... I really DIDN'T BELIEVE: 1) Glenn is more fernet than Branca - 2) Bartleboom is a 'moderator' - 3) Dragosauro doesn't write reviews, he publishes them directly (post145) - 4) You can listen to whatever the hell you want but only "Alternative-Rock-Grunge" is the way. - 5) if you're a radical chic, your mother is automatically a whore... - 5bis) ...and thus an easy prey for the dragggosauri - 6) Enzo Polverino is from Naples - 7) Gigi Finnnizio sucks, but provides a lot of emoZioni.