Luca was gay and now he's with her. Luca speaks with his heart in his hands; Luca says, âI am a different man.â
Luca says: before sharing my sexual transformation, I wanted to clarify that, even though I believe in God, I donât identify with the thoughts of the man who is divided on this topic. I didnât go to psychologists, psychiatrists, priests, or scientists; I went into my past, I dug deep, and I understood many things about myself.
My mother loved me too much; a love that turned into an obsession filled with her convictions, and I couldn't breathe from her attention. My father didnât make decisions, and I could never talk to him. He was out all day for work, and I had the impression that he wasnât entirely real.
In fact, mom asked for a separation when I was 12 years old. I didnât understand it well; my father said it was the right solution, and shortly after, he started drinking. Mom always spoke badly of dad; she told me never to marry for the sake of my friends. She was obsessively jealous, and my identity became increasingly confused.
CHORUS...
Iâm a different man, but at that moment, I was searching for answers. I was ashamed and sought them secretly. Some would tell me, âItâs natural,â but I studied Freud, and he didnât think the same way. Then came maturity, but I didnât know what happiness was. A grown man made my heart tremble, and thatâs when I discovered I was homosexual.
With him, there was no inhibition; the courtship was there, and I believed it was love. Yes, with him, I could be myself. Then it seemed like a competition to see who could be better at sex, and I felt guilty. Sooner or later, theyâll catch him, but if the evidence disappears, then they absolve him. I sought in men who my father was; I dated men to avoid betraying my mother.
CHORUS...
Luca says: for four years, I was with a man, between love and deception; we often betrayed each other. I was still searching for my truth, that great love for eternity. Then, at a party among many people, I met her, who had nothing to do with it. She listened to me; she stripped me bare; she understood me. I only remember that the next day I missed her.
This is my story; only my story. No illness, no healing. Dear father, I have forgiven you, even though you never returned here. Mom, I think of you often; I love you, and sometimes I still see your reflection. But now I am a father and I am in love with the only woman I have ever loved.
CHORUS...