Zwan
Mary Star Of The Sea

THE REVIEW

While I could be watching cinematic masterpieces like "Ibiza, Isola Arraposa" or "Le avventure erotiche di cappuccetto rosso," I find myself instead compelled by my useless, sick little head to listen to this album, hoping that Mr. Zucca has somewhat regained the ability to write a decent song; a hope fueled by the single Honestly, a pleasant cheerful tune that bears little resemblance to Corgan's past, and by the lineup of alternative world stars he has gathered for the recording of this album (Matt Sweeney, ex Skunk and Chavez; David Pajo, ex Tortoise and Slint; Paz Lechantin, ex A Perfect Circle; and last but not least the resurrected Jimmy Chamberlin from the resurrected Pumpkins).

But, as the great Sick Boy says, one moment you have it, the next moment it's gone, and it's gone forever, damn it. In this album Corgan is absssssolutely annoying and all the extras (and don't come to me saying this is a damn band, because if it is, I'd like to know why they all told Corgan to go to hell right after the album, cutting short the planned tour) are almost inaudible, since that genius buries them in the mix, except for the backing vocals of Paz Lechantin (yet another female bassist, but while D'Arcy and Melissa Auf Der Maur were two useless beauties, this one CAN'T BE HEARD AT ALL, so I don’t even know if she’s good or not) that support his ever more annoying voice, and for Jimmy Chamberlin's drums, which are utterly wasted on songs that go nowhere and sound pretty much the same.

As if we weren't having enough fun, Corgan decides we all need to know how much faith he's accumulated over the years during which he made MUSIC, showing us how much he loves the Lord his God, thou shalt have no other gods before him, Lord of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible... who the hell CARES !!! Not me !!! I care about the damn songs!!! These damn Christians need to stop polluting people! First Bob Dylan, now Billy Corgan! Oh, well, he already sucked back in the Machina days... just a second while I think... The Machines Of GOD!!! They did it again !!! Damn bastards...

If only there had been more space for the other band members in terms of composition (and musically too: this seems like Billy Corgan And His Fucking Backing Band), I don't think we'd have pseudo-Christian-rock crap like Jesus I or garbage like Settle Down and Yeah! And then, fatty Buddha (and they tell me I have something against Christians... oh, I'm just joking, don't take it seriously!), those song titles... they're pathetic! It's true they're just titles, but they sound like song titles by Mino Reitano or Al Bano!

The only decent songs are Endless Summer and Honestly, which at least have a melody that can be distinguished from the others, and Of A Broken Heart, despite the lyrics, is well-arranged and almost pleasant. Occasionally there's a decent solo (Honestly, Mary Star Of The Sea, Settle Down) of which I don’t know who is responsible, but I assume Sweeney, given that Corgan's are boringly recognizable... since he's rediscovered God, why doesn’t he pray to play the damn six-string better?

And now let me get back to watching Nash Bridges, because these damn Zwan stimulate the crap out of me, and that doesn't seem appropriate.