There's a farm called Misery, but of that we'll have none
Because we know of one
That's always lots of fun (Ha ha!)
And this one's name is Jollity; believe me, folks, it's great
For everything sings out to us as we go through the gate

All the little pigs, they grunt and howl
The cats mee-yow
The dogs bow-wow
Everybody makes a row
Down on Jollity Farm

All the little pigs, they grunt and howl
(Grunt, howl, grunt, howl)
The cats mee-yow
(Mee-yow, mee-yow)
The dogs bow-wow
(Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff)
Everybody makes a row
Down on Jollity Farm

All the little birds go tweet, tweet, tweet
(birdsong, piano noodle)
The lambs all bleat
(baaaaa!)
And shake their feet
(rattle)
Everything's a perfect treat
Down on Jollity Farm

Regular as habit
The cocks begin to crow
Can the old buck rabbit
Sing and Stuff it up your jumper
Vo-do-de-oh

All the little ducks go quack quack quack
(quack quack quack)
The cows go Moo
(honk)
The bull does, too
(whonk!)
Everyone says how do you do
Down on Jollity Farm
Your rating:
"How do you think it's going?"
"So-so."
"A lot of it's rubbish, you know."
"Mmm"
"Hey, you have the same trouble with your trousers as I do."
"Yes."
Your rating:
Oh the world is so delighted
And the kids are so excited
'Cos the stork has brought
A son and daughter
For Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse

The Mayor and Corporation
Have declared such jubilation
'Cos the stork has brought
A son and daughter
For Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse

Pluto's giving a party
And before the fun begins
He'll present a golden dollar
To the father of the twins

The preacher's eyes are glistening
And he's thinking of a christening
Cos the stork has brought
A son and daughter
For Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse

A million million people
Are happy bright and gay
Bells are ringing in the steeple
It's a public holiday

Hooray Hooray it's a public holiday!
Your rating:
At the local dance, whilst posing by the door
A lady begged: "would I come on the floor?"
Above the band, my voice was heard,
Quite suddenly it had occurred to me:
I'm Bored!

I'm bored with everything I touch and see
I'm bored with exposes of LSD
I'm bored with Frank Sinatra's new LP
And so I roar (shoo-be-do-be-do)
I'm bored.

Drinking different coloured wines or beers
(Chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Just quite frankly leaves me bored to (tears for souvenirs)
And quite apart from what one hears,
I've been like this for years and years
You see? Ennui.

I'm bored with Mother Nature or her son
I'm bored with everything that should be done
And so, I just poke out my big red tongue and [raspberry]
I'm bored.

I'm tired of art!
(Drawing bored)
Sex is a drag!
(In a bawdy house, I dare say.)
Awk! Australians bore me!
(You mean the a-bore-iginals, don't you?)
I'm bored to death!
(Like mortar bored)

I am bored.
[Repeat many times, round-style]
This is boredom you can afford, from Cyril Bored

I hate each Julie Andrews film they've made,
I'm just a nasty narrow-minded jade.
Don't think that I will smile at it,
I'm not a weak-willed hypocrite,
I'll say: I'm bored!

I'm bored with with-it men in spotty ties
Who hum (hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm) tiresome tunes like Eidelweiss
I'm bored, and when I hear it
In a trice, I shout, I'm bored!

The only thing that ever interests me...
Is ME! (Me! Meee! Me! Me!...)
Your rating:
Carico...
You and Gorilla
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