Tepes

So: I only know the early works of Nargaroth, which I don't like because they're too "raw," but if you tell me this one is more on the depressive side, then I might like it. The review, as always, is excellent.

it's not working, it's not clear what genre it is. I don't like the band. Try to put in more effort.

Well you know, I believe that even Don Ciotti would get angry to hear that his charitable works are worth a damn... without needing to delve into the "dark corners of Death metal"... I agree that the detention of Terrance Hobbes, Doug Cerrtio, and John TARDY is too lenient a remedy; forced labor would be better, but only because the death penalty is not an option in Italy. Then let’s also force them to organize their sock drawers and sing at the top of their lungs "vola vola vola l'ape maya," so they can learn from these nasty characters. All those bastard capitalists in the Death metal scene, good only for exploiting the weak and brainwashing the minds of the youth. And then there's Burzum, remember him? He put the world at serious risk with his unmatched black bombs, a patent later purchased by the US Department of Defense... But let’s wake up, there are others in the world doing harm, not those who mosh at concerts and 90 out of 100 have never hurt a fly!

Now we start to reason. Anyway, yes, I feel really struck; as long as it's just opinions, that's fine, but when you claim to say something that is universally recognized, we start exaggerating. You don't like it? You're totally free, completely free to say that it sounds like noise to you, but don't say that IT IS. If you have a bit of time, go check out the scores of these groups, you'll realize you made a mistake. I want to say that I don’t mind Opeth, but I believe they are not superior to the bands I've listened to; different, very different, and equally capable, but not superior. Best regards.

I love music, copy the phrases from Full Metal Jacket... let's start a petition from the unions for the return of Dexter.

I've never liked them too much because I see them as a half measure. The review is good.

Now let's move on to CALUS: your point of view is more than respectable; you speak like someone who knows this music and sees its limits. I have to say that Origin and (although a bit less) Psycroptic are among the most sterile bands out there. Try with the early Cryptopsy, maybe you'll change your mind.

And Tepes kept justifying himself, saying that for him and many others it was different and that he wasn't crazy, but Larrokk was determined to use strong measures. In the meantime, he had also captured the rebel Cronos, locking him up in the punishment room to convert him to Opeth. No luck there either; even Cronos tried to offer justifications and appealed to the Sfascesca De Gustibus Card, although Larrok was inflexible; that’s noise, and on this there’s no compromise, it communicates nothing, it cannot communicate anything, it is inconceivable that anyone could receive emotions from that music. Only from Opeth... from Larrok, you finish the story, let’s see if you save us or send us to our deaths…

but even subjected to torture, the pervert tepes (accused of violence against the ear and excessive legitimate pogo) kept pogging alone because that is music made only for pogging (which is to say that black is music made only for black masses and thrash for drinking beer...power is music for killing dragons and grind for dissecting people) and anyone who listens to it is just a zealot. Then, death musicians can't play and just make noise, repeating the clichés of the genre (things that if heard by Thomas Haake or Flo Mounier could end badly, but fortunately Larrok and the anti-pogo brotherhood have already taken care of eliminating all dangerous subjects).

he "who didn't understand a damn thing about music, spent his hours listening to locomotives falling into blenders, smiled and was happy. But the relentless Larrok couldn't stand such violence on the staff and advanced to the sound of Opeth: the depraved Tepes could only tremble before such an onslaught... but his prayers had no effect; Larrok wanted to destroy Brutal Death and erase it from the face of the earth. 'No one,' he said, 'can defeat me if I listen to Opeth: down with bourgeois technique and Brutal Capitalism!' and poor Tepes was forced to surrender."