The Poop or 21 Free Thoughts on Dream Theater
1. MORNING: Without praise or blame, it still holds great psychological value: it banishes all the ghosts of the night and helps to joyfully embark on the new day.
2. GLUE: The most hated. It provides little satisfaction in terms of both consistency and aroma. It consumes an industrial amount of toilet paper and necessitates the use of the toilet brush.
3. MOUSSE: Formerly known as BOASCIA, it has a strong and genuine smell. It often appears when one is out in the countryside for a walk. Dark hazelnut color and soft.
4. GOATISH: A purely feminine whim: also called "BALLS," this type of poop is the only one that can be noisy when it comes into contact with the surface of the bowl. It has no particular smell, is very consistent, shaped like a hailstone. Dark color.
5. BOERO: It consists of a combination of very hard and liquid: first, the "plug" that halts the fall of the liquid part is expelled. Of various colors, it often surprises those who don’t expect it.
6. MUNGO: Among the oldest species. Long, consistent, and fragrant. Light in color, corrugated, this model has the advantage of always smoking, even in summer.
7. TOTEM: from the MUNGIDI family, it has the same characteristics as its ancestor. Dark chestnut color, smooth, much more fragrant.
8. ZEPPELIN: MUNGIDI family. Its particular size puts it at the top of the rankings. In some cases, it gets stuck in the bowl and cannot be broken.
9. UMBRELLA: This is almost liquid poop that comes out like an umbrella. Unpleasant odor, it can cause burning sensations.
10. IMPERIAL UMBRELLA: When it’s not completely liquid and its descent into the bowl creates amusing fantasies of colors and shapes.
11. STORM UMBRELLA: Consistent like the ROYAL one and the exact opposite of the BOERO: it starts with the liquid umbrella and ends with a sort of meteorites shaking the water of the bowl, causing a real storm.
12. THRILLER: Mostly manifests while stuck in traffic, striking first in the upper part of the stomach. After countless internal churnings and ready for expulsion. Arriving at the rest stop is a dream. Always accompanied by profuse sweating, it often doesn’t allow enough time for positioning on the bowl.
13. FULL METAL JACKET: You can tell from the first urge: a punch in the stomach that leaves you breathless. Enormous in size, angular shapes. The complete exit is often associated with a small amount of blood. A mandatory tear. Psychologically liberating, it carries the same sensation as childbirth. Often, one becomes attached to the final product.
14. ALBANIAN: Has no particularities but occurs between two cars at the extreme moment of need.
15. RAMSES II: When the seat is "mummified" for a hygienic sitting.
16. CIRCO TOGNI: In the absence of a seat, one climbs up and balances on the bowl.
17. KL: When you don’t feel like practicing the CIRCO TOGNI, you squat with performances worthy of note. It requires constant training of the quadriceps.
18. ROCCO SIFFREDI: Only for males: often happens in the morning when erection and the urge to poop coexist: KL is practiced but sitting on the seat for balance.
19. IVY: This cute model never detaches. One must be very trained in the pubococcygeal exercise to "cut" the parasite.
20. BLACK MAMBA: Very small in size, black in color, very strong odor.
21. BABY BOOM: Manifests after cappuccino, has the smell of baby poop, light in color, medium consistency.