JURIX

The husband turns to his wife:
- "Dear, you didn't take the cat out tonight either...".
She took a deep breath before responding:
- "But, dear... you know... the cat has been dead for a week...".
- "Well, all the more reason to do it...".

This morning the doctor called me with bad news and very bad news: the bad news is that I have twenty-four hours left to live, and the very bad news is that the doctor forgot to tell me yesterday at this time.

A boy orders the modem. When the technician from Tim arrives at the house, he is out, and only his grandmother is there. The technician knocks on the door. The grandmother: "Who is it?", and he replies: "Alice, ma'am." The grandmother, confused: "But... a boy with a woman's name?" - "No, ma'am, I'm the one with the ADSL." The grandmother: "Poor thing... he's a gay and he has a serious illness too..."

The village priest dies.
At the burial, they ask the housekeeper:
- "Do you want to kiss him before he’s put down?"
She bursts into tears:
"He always told me that too!!!"

@TOMGIL: you've offended me. I won't post any more barZellette.

This review is the ninth clue that the film in question is terrible.

'I listened to this album a couple of weeks ago. See, damn it, not waiting for the De-RecenZioni? If I had read, for example, this one first, and noticed the de-Generi, I would have never listened to this "Black Up," and I definitely would have gained something. Let's say it's at the antipodes of my music tastes.'

Two death row inmates are set to be executed on the same day, the first at 4 PM, the second an hour later.
The prison warden visits the first one and asks,
- "Do you have a final wish?"
- "Yes, I would like to listen to JOVANOTTI’S LAST ALBUM one last time before I die..."
- "Alright!" Then he goes to the second inmate:
- "And you? Do you have a final wish?"
- "Yes! Kill me first!!!"

LOPERAMIDE: one can't really say that YOUR review... sucks... hehe h

A guy dies and goes to Heaven.
After a few seconds, he meets another gentleman, who has also just arrived in the afterlife, and asks him:
- "Excuse me, can I know how you died?"
And the gentleman replies:
- "You won't believe it, but I died frozen!"
- "Frozen? That's terrible!"
- "And you, how did you die?"
- "Well, I died of happiness..."
- "Hmm, yours isn’t exactly a common death, you know..."
- "I know... would you like to know how it happened?"
- "Go on, please tell me!"
- "Well, I was in my office when I got a call from a friend who told me that my wife was with another man..."
- "Oh! Keep going!"
- "...I rushed to my car and drove home. I opened the door and found my wife all alone, busy cleaning the floor... knowing that she wasn’t cheating on me... I died of happiness!"
The other man looks at him in shock and exclaims:
- "What an idiot! You could have opened the fridge, and we could have saved ourselves!"