Aqua
Aquarium

THE REVIEW

In a world where doubts increase more and more, I can say I have at least one certainty: I hate Piero Scaruffi. Unbearable and pretentious, Scaruffi perfectly embodies the figure of a music critic, with that mix of nerdiness and fake know-it-all attitude that often characterizes it. To add elements of interest (so to speak), there's his website, a jumble of approximations and Times New Roman comparable to a Diplodocus fossil (have you taken a look at the graphics? Probably a Triceratops would have done better).

Somewhere between delusions of grandeur and the desire to catalog human knowledge, Piero's effort contains moments of unexpected enlightenment: just visit the page dedicated to theAqua, a Scandinavian group known from the late '90s to the early new millennium. Influenced by the beauty of the singer Lene Grawford Nystrøm or coming from a disco night spent pestering well-endowed MILFs, the essayist from Trivero produces one of the most genius chapters of his avoidable career, consisting of a seven given to Aquarium, the debut of the Nordic band. The news is incredible since Scaruffi reserves this score for compositions by Johann Sebastian Bach or, alternatively, to obscure albums by Anglo-Iranian songwriters.

Driven by the marvel and the incredible convergence of events, I decided to dust off Aquarium, the first CD purchased by yours truly back in 1997 (yes, who would have thought). The cover photo immediately catches the attention, portraying the quartet in a fun underwater pose, seasoned with Barbara D’Urso-like filters and an enviable kitsch taste. After peeking at the tracklist, we discover that the album contains eleven tracks for about forty minutes of music, a good introduction for a pop album without great expectations. Regarding the sound, there is little to say: we are not facing minimalist suites or endless psychedelic jam sessions, but rather an honest dance-pop product, excellently packaged by keyboardist Søren Rasted and guitarist Claus Norreen. The vocal parts are entrusted to the already mentioned Lene and René Dif, a disturbing big man with a baritone voice (this definition I owe to Piero), a stage animal often at the center of attention for a supposed love story with the beautiful Norwegian (the other members are Danish).

Starting from these premises begins the journey with Aqua, a path that turns out to be more varied and even more exciting than expected. Of course, it's impossible not to mention the singles churned out in rapid succession by the band: "My Oh My", "Doctor Jones", "Roses Are Red", "Lollipop (Candyman)" and especially "Barbie Girl", a real hit that, in addition to causing legal troubles for Aqua for the use of the famous doll's name, changes the career of our friends forever, transforming them into international superstars. The recipe for the songs remains the same but incredibly successful: simple and suggestive lyrics, eurodance sounds (some might say "bubblegum") and a great desire for fun. Not to forget the videos, where René and company interpret stories inspired by the cartoon world, full of irony and clownish moments (again thanks, Piero).

However, Aquarium is also something else. Even today, for example, I'm surprised by the Latin vibes of "Heat of the Night" and some "serious" tracks, which admirably break the tension. Leaving aside "Good Morning Sunshine" (perhaps the weakest track, with a not-so-successful rap insert), we can note "Be a Man", a slow song that highlights Lene's vocal qualities (to which we have referred earlier), and especially the excellent "Turn Back Time", where Aqua's pop becomes sophisticated (the song will later be included in the Sliding Doors soundtrack: not just any old stuff). Let's add two songs like "Happy Boys & Girls" and "Calling You", danceable and blatantly radio-friendly, and the game is done.

At this point, it is evident that the famous seven given to Aquarium is not the result of peyote intoxication, inadvertently experienced by Scaruffi during a visit to a hippie friend of his (let us remember that the critic, thankfully, resides in San Francisco), but rather the result of a lucid analysis, one of the few I have happened to read on his jumbled and encyclopedic site.

Come on then: let’s welcome the "exuberant polyrhythms", the "eccentricities sparingly distributed", the "melodic counterpoints with crystalline timbres", whatever these might be. Let's abandon our seminal albums for a moment and dive into idiocy, the never-unpleasant foolishness, the "more Latin than Nordic humor". Piero has turned on the stereo, the party begins.

In the heat of the night
We are having a fiesta
We dance until siesta
When the sun comes alive
Oh

DeReviewer Rating: 4/4.5