Vídeo Brinquedo
The Little Panda Fighter

After reviewing a film by Dingo Pictures, born in the land of krauts and wursts, I thought it best to take another company known for blatant copies of much more famous animated films. Therefore, I moved on to Video Brinquedo, a Brazilian company that has been distributing films since 1994. Brinquedo represents a "graphic evolution" compared to Dingo Pictures, since while Dingo made static drawings with worn-out markers and polygons drawn with a protractor, Brinquedo uses the factor of three-dimensional polygons.

Obviously, it doesn't change the fact that Brinquedo produces incredible knock-offs: in its filmography, we can find The Little Cars ("parody" of Cars), Ratatoing ("clone" of Ratatouille), and our film The Little Panda Fighter ("copy" of Kung Fu Panda).

From the first frames, we can clearly see how the animations are the worst in recent memory, as they do not strive to make any gesture, action, or facial expression realistic or coherent, not even by mistake, preferring instead to focus on what seem like pre-rendered demos of Nintendo 64 games. Anyway, our protagonist, Pancada, works in a bar managed by a polar bear named Polaris (of course), a sort of mongoose named Beth, and... I have no freaking idea... a porcupine always with snot on his nose BECAUSE IT'S HILARIOUS.

But the bar is also a boxing venue, where the local champion is Fenomenorso. Polaris is understandably upset because his continuous victories annoy him to the point of making him believe that people would no longer enjoy watching Fenomenorso fight. Oh, and did I mention that Pancada's dream is to become a ballerina? Not that I have anything against those who want to become ballerinas... the problem is another: in the dream, we see Pancada... um... wearing a blonde wig. Nice to see that Willwoosh has also conquered Brazil and turned it into a colony of his YouTube empire.

That same day, Pancada goes to Polaris and manages to get permission to leave: thus, he takes the opportunity to visit his martial arts (and also dance) master, an animal not well identified (I vote for a cross between a mole and a mongoose) named Xin (pronounced Shin like the character from Fist of the North Star, no, I swear on whatever you want that I'm not saying it on purpose, that's how it's pronounced, Pancada says so himself!).

Returning to Polaris's office, Pancada sees him with a new outfit (in tight leather resembling a failed Slenderman): it turns out that Polaris intends to fight Fenomenorso and show him that he is not as invincible as everyone says. But the suit stinks, so the boss asks him to wash it, whatcouldpossiblyhappen?!?! After talking with Beth in another boring dialogue, Pancada remembers the suit too late and obviously sees that it has shrunk. The day of the match arrives, and just before it begins, the inevitable happens: the costume (including mask) worn by Polaris shrinks so that Polaris looks like Pancada! It seems obvious: despite the obvious difference between Polaris and Pancada in appearance, no one would suspect that it's Pancada fighting Fenomenorso and not Polaris in latex.

While the match begins, Pancada secretly takes part in a dance audition. I can't say which of the two parts thrills me more: Just Dance Pancada Edition or Mike Tyson polar-bear-in-latex version: the clash between Polaris and Fenomenorso is more like a foosball game played by two potatoes with measles. In any case, Polaris wins the match, while the real Pancada is not admitted by the judges... and then it turns out he indeed won the competition (whatever). However, back at the bar, everyone congratulates Pancada because, as mentioned before, everyone thought it was Pancada himself who fought against Fenomenorso; Polaris himself understands the misunderstanding but is forced to play along, as is Pancada, and when Fenomenorso challenges the panda again, Pancada, like the fool he is, accepts the challenge; hence, Polaris is forced to train him properly.

The day of the rematch arrives... and Pancada gets thoroughly beaten up so much that if the Wailing Wall saw him, it would become the Laughing Wall for how Fenomenorso messes him up, winning the match and regaining the champion title. But plot twist! After the match, we discover that Polaris KNEW PERFECTLY WELL that Pancada had no chance against that brute, and so he bet everything on the mountain of muscles, and since Fenomenorso won, Polaris not only became rich, but he also turned out to be the most bastard bear ever seen in film history!

The film ends with one of the best epilogues ever: Polaris retires from the club and moves to the North (or South, I don't remember) Pole, while Pancada fulfills his dream of becoming a great dancer, transforming the boxing club into a dance club. JOY.

END OF THE PLOT. LET'S MOVE ON TO THE REST.

Let me summarize the graphics in the few sentences I have left as a comment on it: the animations, settings, and character textures are all so pathetic, barren, and sad that porn starring sodomized geese is much better than this 200% crap with potatoes.

Not to mention the superficial moral urging lies, deceit, and profits at the expense of others (and the next one), let alone the horrendous gags that rival Paolo Ruffini's Fuga di Cervelli.

Just trying to be kind to this film (and I shouldn't have the right): I know this is a film for children, and thus I should let some things slide, but this film was made in 2008, the same year as the great Kung Fu Panda, and already for ten years before this film was released, animated films could be easily watched even by adults and the elderly. From this three-dimensional monstrosity with fake textures that seem to have been chewed for weeks, spit out, and reshaped barehanded, the Italian dubbing is the only thing that can be salvaged, including the voice actor of the protagonist Pancada, who cannot help but sound familiar to you. But for the rest... well... better avoid it like the black plague.

Well! First Brinquendo film reviewed on this site! Be proud of me, you cowards who didn't have the courage to share such a review on this site!

I hope you enjoyed the review, and I'm off to puke in the bathroom for a moment.

Bye!