The Streets
A Grand Don't Come For Free

THE REVIEW

In all honesty, I'm a bit tired of the article "The". Actually, I'm really tired, I hate it with all my being. Then, yesterday, it went a little overboard in obsessing me.

8:30 AM. I wake up, I have a job interview, this time it's serious stuff, we're talking about a Ministry, but I don't know which one.
I have breakfast, take my two degrees that I usually keep tucked between my buttocks, put them in the folder, and get ready to go. The guy from New Zealand reads "The Guardian". Today, a free CD with a single by "The Streets".
"I really should" - I think. I go.

11:30 AM, after 2 hours of test, super-test, counter-test, I put my two degrees back between my buttocks. I enter the subway.
A big billboard above my head screams: "The Streets - New album, out now".
"I really should" - I think.

12:00 PM, Tottenham. I enter HMV; 45 albums of bands with "The" in front are lined up to listen to. The choice is forced. First song, "It Was Supposed To Be So Easy". Synthesizers, slightly sampled drums, the usual suspended start waiting for the chorus, where the voice raises by a tone.
"All very nice" - I think.
I read on NME that it's a concept album: it would have been nice to hold the booklet in my hands, but 16 pounds are too much for me.

1:30 PM, second appointment. At the Shadow, a gay venue, they're looking for a bass guy, someone who doesn't mind getting his butt touched while collecting glasses. "I wonder if my two degrees will be of any use" - I think. Near the wall, a punk with the highest mohawk in the world holds a billboard; it reads: "The Streets - Out now".

2:30 PM, I enter the subway. A guy removes the paper from the CD he just bought, guess which one. Lucky you, kid, who has 16 pounds to waste listening to the same old damn riff. In a month, I'll buy your CD at the used stalls.
"Dry Your Eyes" still buzzes in my head, though, a classic tearjerker song.
"All very nice" but - damn - heard it a thousand other times.

5:30 PM, Virgin megastore, I listen to it again. "Blinded By The Light" strikes me, very "The Strokes", distorted guitars, slightly filtered voice, great bass line. All very nice, but I was sure of it. "Empty Cars" after a moment of peace, ends the work with energy and nervousness, the guy screams and the guitar shoots the solo.
In "Such A Twat" the piano, guitar, bass, drums sneak in one by one, everything in the right place delivers the funniest play of our times: the new wave of British rock.

8:00 PM, back home I look in the mirror and realize I've had a shitty day. I get drunk with the guy from New Zealand and we listen to the damn CD from "The Guardian". Even the newspaper has the article - I think. It's an obsession.

I don't know if you understood anything from all my stupid words: just know that I spent the night listening to "Ron SexSmith", who even though he has a voice like Chris Martin, even though he sounds like Coldplay, even though he writes lyrics like Coldplay, at least he doesn't have any damn article in front, rather, he has a really shitty name.

This morning I wake up and the day is wonderful.