The Queers
Love Songs For The Retarded

THE REVIEW

«With bands like the Queers, there's not much you can do... ».

This was the comment I stumbled upon while reading an old DeBaser page. Out of respect for the country, I avoid mentioning the wise author of the gem, but I cordially dedicate to them the three little words that open «Love Songs For The Retarded»: you suck motherfucker! And I refrain from translating its meaning, which is fairly obvious.

Because you don't mess with the Queers: if I ever considered changing the nickname given to me twenty years ago, it was only to replace it with Granola-Head or Noodlebrain; I bought their «Rocket To Russia»» first, and only a few years later, the original.

And above all, don't mess with «Love Songs ...», sixteen intense tracks recorded in less than twenty hours between November 7th and 8th, 1993, under the auspices of Ben Weasel and Mass Giorgini for Lookout Records.

Punk, hardcore, and pop, that's what it is: and if in the ‘70s the reference point is «Rocket To Russia» and in the ‘80s «Milo Goes To College», in the ‘90s it's time for «Love Songs For The Retarded». That's who the Queers are, a fateful crossover between the Ramones and the Descendents, between '60s pop melody ideas and raw hardcore punk practice.

Not forgetting that Joe, B-Face, and Hugh don't want to risk going unnoticed, so they choose to call themselves «The Queers», title a track «Finalmente A Ursula Sono Cresciute Le Tette», another «Non Riesco A Smettere Di Scorreggiare», and yet another «La Notte Delle Checche Livide»... and down come accusations of sexism, homophobia, and the entire dismal catalog of the genre. Just like the fate that befell the similar Hard-Ons, the exact same reaction: a loud «Fottetevi!» sung in the face of all the well-meaning rock ‘n’ roll politically correct fans and a hearty laugh to bury them.

It makes little sense to point out one track over another, but I can't refrain from quickly recommending «Ursula Finally Has Tits», «Teenage Bonehead», «Fuck This World», «Feeling Groovy», «Debra Jean», «Noodlebrain», «Granola-Head» (the «Pinhead» of the ‘90s), «I Won't Be» and especially «Daydreaming», perfect examples of that symbiosis between punk, hardcore, pop, and killer melody that have made the Queers, despite the simplicity, repetitiveness, and apparent banality of their offer, a band not to forget. The only flaw is that they never start with «One, two, three, four», damn them.

Nothing else to say, except that the idiot who couldn’t do much with the Queers was me, surprised a year ago in a deeper-than-usual altered state, so I once again turn the deserved: you suck motherfucker! And I give 5 stars hoping that The Queers forgive me.

Oh, if I ever badmouth the Ramones, don't insult me but say a prayer for me.