Sugababes
Overloaded: The Singles Collection

THE REVIEW

Madames et Monsignori, I'm here to firmly state that I find all this [which I will speak about with indignation] absolutely scandalous, damnably unjust, morally unacceptable, ethically unfair, profoundly incorrect if not entirely, unsupportably, arbitrary. Without ifs and buts.

Indeed, yes! (strengthening, as it never hurts)

I dare (more or less) lawfully ask myself: how on earth could it happen, then jump into the heads of the producers and promoters of such a singular and collective assembly, to initiate such a chilling yet undue marketing maneuver [and, dear fools continuing this pointless reading, I'm not speaking about the album's audio content, ça va sans dire]? I really can't even begin to understand it.

It is worth reflecting|reflecting that in these neo-millennial times, I fear, there is truly no more religiuonem [while hoping that physical education has at least endured]. If I were in your place* [and, to your fortune, I am not, alas, in your place], at this crucial point, I would draft genuine documents (and not false ones: for that persists the blatant scandal about which I'm now about to babble) to try to effectively remedy such a distressing, if not very paradoxical, situatzionem. For heaven's sake!

Oh yes! (Strengthening Pt. 2)

I would be entirely (albeit moderately) bewildered! How could anyone dare to act in such an utterly senseless-gùisa? H-o-w (good heavens!)? And then: exclude her* like this (Poor thing!). As if nothing/bar/nada happened. As if the well four-plus $-satisfying previous albums were never globally promoted and appreciated in all their magnificent expressive grandeur. All [then] on two (sole and pedestrian) filthy feet!!!

And then, let's be clear, Ladies & Beautiful Gentlemen [although this is a rambling monologue]: what on earth would thisqqùì** represent for me? Ah!??? (Raf. Vol. 3).

As far as I'm concerned, it hasn't yet (and the future, as is widely known, is not yet foretold by anyone - even those with crystal spheres -) done [oh dear: it might well be that Costea will have done "something": not necessarily of a purely "musical-artistic" nature] anything to appear {I reiterate} gracefully there, in -not even so- joyful/lovely display of itself(elf).

Because She**, in case it still wasn't understood, in these fantasmagoric fourteen dance/pop pearls-qùà [gathered here] has nothing to do with the (DadoKnorresco) super-classical muzak-ficus-fresco (and a nice, why not, don't I throw it in?). I really want to see if she'll be able to (re)produce bewitching/sinusoidal/enveloping/disconcerting vocal trills like those included in an "Overload" (epochal first single dating back to the dawn of time [2000]) or the barbituric "Freak Like Me" or, why not, the enchanting and circumnavigating "Round And Round".

Moreover: the only unreleased song/fragment ["Easy"] crafted for this compilation exposes little-to-nothing of any potential ~skills~ outfitters (Josè Altafini Docet) expressible in (ahem..) seno at the gentile/feminine vocal ensemble. Hallway rumors (even though every time I peek, I never find anyone..) would suggest that the next/imminent (to be understood as a threat?) work [the imaginative title planned here is: "Changes"] soon to be released in the coming (sad) days will disprove the sneaking, sharply critical, and malevolently tongue-lashing bad tongues.

The fact is that on the cover (the other two, moreover, seem mummified by at least thirty years [there!]) there had to be HER!

P.S.:
the relative score was obtained (scientifi*ally) by rolling both Monopoly dice, dividing by three, and then multiplying by two: what number did I roll on the dice? A copy of the present musical artifact is gifted to those who guess!

*Mutya Buena

**Amelle Barrabah