Prostitute Disfigurement
Deeds of Derangement

Introduction: I am a professional metalhead, registered with the metalhead association, card no.1816, metal score of 68/100 (15 piercings: 20 points; 3 studs: 5 points; 8 tattoos including an angel sodomizing a hermit crab: 10 points; I have a crappy job: 5 points; fierce look and punk-a-bestia underarm power: 28 points. It's a bit like disability, if you exceed 74% you get a pension).
I am fully integrated into the post-modern alternative avant-garde of the "fiko-k", I can write "k" anytime instead of "c", I feel very prepared.
I feel much more thrash-metal than grind, while my girlfriend is more brutal. Tommaso (my friend) is a bit grind and a bit brutal, depending on the weather. Usually, since he never carries an umbrella, when it rains he becomes a bit more brutal.

Today I went to buy a new record by Prostitute Disfigurement, "Deeds of Derangement", my girlfriend and I always do a lot of crazy stuff when we put on Prostitute Disfigurement, we beat each other bloody with the studs and she knows I like it when she sodomizes me with the plasticine swastika.
Well, today I bought this CD, and it's a masterpiece. Now I take off the plastic wrap and open it (it's nice to know you're buying a masterpiece every time - it's the small certainties in life, a bit like grandma Betta's cake).
First song: "Swollen". The first thing you hear is an inhuman scream and I think: see, now is the time this guy tosses his soul. No, no, he doesn't throw away his soul, don't worry. He keeps screaming for the whole song, in short, this song is a scream, you couldn't decipher what he's saying even if you played it in slow motion. But it's easy to do with my cover band because the riff is always the same. I just sit there, do the riff and start screaming, and everyone tells me: damn, you just bought it and you've already learned it. But the only thing I do is a 6-minute and 34-second scream. And I feel good, it's like returning to the Stone Age, I feel a little like Tarzan, sometimes.
A brutal-Tarzan of the thrash kingdom.

When you listen to "She's Not Coming Home Tonight" you immediately think of a poor girl crying because she's not coming home (and you're already about to vomit because it's such a sweet story) but then you find out she was actually raped and maybe they made her eat something to celebrate (and it’s not grandma Betta's cake). That's when you start to really feel brutal. And the evil force enters you. The song isn't much different from the others, also because the singer's scream is the same as the first song, in fact, while the members stopped to collapse he kept screaming. According to the CD booklet, he would be saying something but whoever understands it is good.
In "Screaming In Agony" finally the singer stops, because there is no space; since the riffs were always the same (and since these people always criticize and are never happy) the members take a turn that might mark the destiny of metal for eternity: instead of the usual riff, even two nice usual riffs, and in the same song, and don’t say metal isn't trying to evolve. But I kind of miss the singer in this song. Maybe he's dead, who knows (maybe).
No, no, he's alive, he's alive! "Skinned and Sodomized" sees his great return, a nice brand new scream (or maybe not? Hmm... well, yes, it's actually a bit similar to the first song, luckily, it was catching me off guard, I didn't feel ready). Masterpiece.

Today my girlfriend and I feel very thrash. And we'll do a lot of crazy stuff with the latest album of this band that never misses a beat in the background. Life is beautiful.

P.S.: today I got another piercing, tomorrow I'll go collect the pension.