Prodigious child, bumbling buffoons, and boiled capers, welcome to the Deoroscopo *of the advent* and the last days *of the year.* Sorry for the delay, but there have been various connection issues (damn TIM stealing my pennies). Let’s skip the chit-chat and prologue the horoscope of the month:
Aries (@[Dr.Adder] and halfway @luludia the confused): the end of the year is shaping up to be rich in new opportunities and small falls. The headphone jack on your work PC is broken, and all your colleagues will hear your awful music.
Taurus (Nothing of nobody): cheer up, empty times happen, you just need to get back up. They find 20 kg of light weed at your place but they won't do anything, rather condemning the sign of Virgo.
Gemini (@[Mojoman] a.k.a. Mop): December will be a peculiar month, where new things will begin to arrive. Christmas with your folks, the braying of mules and oxen. The live nativity scene will be a disaster.
Cancer (king @[lector]): finally, tensions stay outside the door, and love seems to resurface. Also, hanging the laundry in the garage next to the old tractor engines is a really dumb idea.
Leo (the restarter of brilliant ideas @[Alemarcon]): a time of redemption, December will be an opportunity to start anew. Too bad about the chestnuts left in the fresh for the new year; they’re all rotten, so of course, sorry.
Virgo (master @[sergio60] who mistakenly doesn’t appear in the scheme): small unforeseen events will arise in the twelfth month. One of these is the conviction and arrest for illegally possessing the 20 kg of light weed of that Taurus junkie.
Libra (Nobody of nobody): after a year of taking beatings from everyone, you finally say enough; the first satisfactions are finally coming. At the end of the year, of course, because you’re unlucky and maybe a bit of an asshole if you don’t mind.
Scorpio (nope!): the hard work and dedication you put into your day-to-day work honor you; keep it up for a better future. You haven’t paid the electricity bill since Trump was elected president, so they’ll seize everything that can be seized, including your Diabolik underwear.
Sagittarius (worm @[macaco], unrepeatable @Eneathedevil grumpy "old" lady @TataOgg, and noble emilian @dsalva): your peak period; you are sharp and reactive to novelties like never before. All thanks to the coffee that your good bartender Martello brings you every day, even on holidays.
Capricorn (me myself and the dealer of modern masterpieces @[Ditta]): December will be a month where new goals will be set. On Christmas day, you’ll get motor oil on you in front of your partner’s entire family.
Aquarius (seer @[Dislocation]): your creative and poetic vein seems to have finally blossomed again. By 2021, you'll publish your first book, likely a bestseller alongside ILLIBRO volume 2.
Pisces (@[Ri