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Rating: The transformers oh my god....
So, I decided to go see this movie with an old friend of mine, not because I found it interesting, but because as I scrolled through the movies showing in other theaters, I started to gag and foam at the mouth. Shrek the Third, Bastard Boy, the Fantastic Four, and other similar crap were unwatchable. Better to face off with big 80s robots and other such nonsense, at least to remember the good old days of the Commander and the Beetle... times that were less lousy than now.
So, as soon as I entered the theater, I already knew how the evening would go, with couples making out in front of the theater, girls in high heels posing as big screen divas, guys drooling behind these 5'2" babes without the heels. I entered with the best of intentions. That is, to sleep through the entire movie... Oh right, the movie.
Rubbish. First of all, a plot that doesn't hold up, with a loser trying to impress the chick of the moment by buying a car with daddy's money. The usual story where the same chick is first dating the brainless jock football player and then suddenly becomes interested in the somewhat clever and somewhat dumb loser. Then it turns out that the car is actually a damn autobot... They even seemed like the big assholes' bots to me, which is saying something with Optimus Five and the others talking like 15-year-olds on their first date, or like that bastard DJ Lucignolo Bellafiga who annoys everyone on TV every five minutes. So, this metal giant saying, "Hey guys," really doesn't sit well with me, and there’s another idiot I didn't understand what he was doing there, who strips down to his underwear with "S7" written on his big butt... I won't tell you, this was the pivotal moment of the flick... the douchebags were touching the dumbfounded girls' privates and laughing like idiots while I stared into space, indulging myself while looking between the bare thighs of the girl next to me... so, I didn't understand the movie's plot because I couldn't care less, because I drank quite a bit and managed to nap between one indulgence and another... in short, no question about it, a fine evening full of rich content. 3 hours of pure action, fun in memory of the legendary battle between Autosborr and Decepticulicon., but I beg you, if you intend to see this movie, turn off your brain first.
But then again, what am I saying, you probably saw this crap too and were the first knuckleheads to laugh at the overly predictable and prepackaged jokes that went on for over 3 hours without interruption. In that case, I'll give a nice 5 of mistrust to both you and the movie.
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Other reviews
By Hetzer
I discover in the end that I didn’t have fun at all, and that the incompetent Bay, produced by Spielberg, played an awful hand that could have led to at least much more entertaining developments.
The shots are frantic and often incomprehensible, the editing follows in quick succession, and the robots clashing appear as a jumble of colorful metal parts rolling in our faces.
By vellutogrigio
The transformer kept me much company during long autumns and winters spent in a sad condominium.
The cinema was packed with people between 30 and 40 searching for something they no longer have, and not just a robot car broken during the afternoons of the '80s.
