Somewhere at the Bottom of the River Between Vega and Altair
Album - 11 november 2008 - Debaser id 542819

Oh, we could blame it on our hands
They lifted the drink to our mouths so we drank it
Or we could blame it on our bodies
They say, we like the way we feel when we get touched
You've got your fingers snared in my veins
I think it's time you pulled them out
And I don't care about the flesh it'll tear
It isn't flesh that I'm worried about

We held a match to keep our sight on the path
But the flame gave up and we lost it
And I've knelt for the last three years
Trying to find it back with the blackened matchstick
Today I'm not afraid of failure
The past is a flower
The future, the snow
I wasn't ever close to perfect
But I never let you go

You let your doubt lead you like a river on and on
And you will never get back to save what you had
Hear me promise
I will bury your problems in me
So sleep soundly
I held your heart in my fingers
Now it's gone, it's gone, it's gone and you will never admit
That you bid the wind blow the flames out
And buried the coals in the sea
You tricked me

You came back and you brought floods
Wearing a necklace made of hearts that you'd dragged through the mud
And I guess I wasn't quite sure what to say to you
But then I saw mine, almost reached out to grab it
Said, darling, you're the only one on earth I want to have it
But now I'm not so sure that was true
After the hell you put it through
But there was no sharp pain this time
Just the ghost of your presence compressing my chest like a vine
An unshakable absence
Like most of my insides crawled out of my mouth and went west
But that's fine
We cast our hearts in plaster
We imagined our bodies were fashioned of stone
But they chipped at the brick and mortar
We found out that we're only layers of skin hiding bones
And our bones are like chains, old and rusted in the rain
They're going to snap when the weight shifts

You moved like a fire through the forest
Your hands were as red as the skin on your lips
You'd been flirting with distance, princess
I tasted its spit in your kiss
Oh mistress, know
Today I will bury the flames of your failure
The past is a liar
The future, a whore
I'll lay your bones into the earth and you will haunt my head no more
Oh, we could blame it on our hands
Oh, we could blame it on our hands
But it was our mouths that opened up to swallow
(Oh, we could blame it on our hands)
And our heads that commanded us drink
But as I buried your flames in the dirt
I watched the smoke pull your ghost from the grave
And I fear they'll only lay in wait
Until we are face to face again
Just when I said, I'm moving, I'm moving on
I felt them come to life again and again and again and again

There are fires
That tear through valleys and make dust from grass
There are fires
There are wires
Bound in blue light, they pull us to the past
There are wires
We are tired
We should have known from the start that this wouldn't last
We are tired

Now speak of anger,
forget all the fears you've kept about love and sex and death and faith,
erased, or swinging sweet from around her neck and between her breasts.
Let every lonely body finally break its fear of flesh and say,
"How strange it must've been back when we shook at the sight of sweat."
Let our worries wander out of like water streaming from a spring,
and sing of all the things our heads have failed to ruin yet.
There's so much they have failed to ruin yet.
Bright as lightning, loud as thunder,
We'll move all the hurt aside to let love sustain our passions,
And move up and onward.
We are not our losses, we are only the extent to which we love.
So build a home for your family, and build a castle for your friends.
Now set their beds with sheets and blanketã, keep them safe until the end.
I've felt the damage and burn from the fallout.
My love failed but theirs prevailed.
My friends, I'm only flesh and bone,
but I won't let you die alone.
So leave our hearts at the foot of the mountain.
Let our burdens be locked in the stone.
If you will help me roll it upward,
I won't let you die alone.
I see a beauty springing upward from the earth and from out our hearts.
For all the bad that seems to plague us, I swear to you there's good.
They say that death is not a problem, it's a promise,
I can only say for sure that when it makes your bed I'll kiss your head "Goodnight."
So speak of all the love we lost, and what it cost us,
Left us beg our breath to stop but we kept on and
We were strong. We stayed bright as lightning,
we sang loud as thunder, we moved ever forward.
We are not our failures. We are love.

You still cross my mind from time to time. And I mostly smile.
Still so set on finding out where we went wrong and why
So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen,
trying to figure out what my head thinks,
but my head just ain't what it used to be.
And then again, what's the point anyway?
I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony
to see if you could see me - hidden quietly away
And I remember the skin of your fingers,
The spot three quarters up I'd always touch when I was out of things to say.
You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand.
I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear,
that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand,
And I remember how you smiled through the smoke
in a crowded little coffeehouse and laughed at all my jokes.
And I remember the way that you dressed and,
how we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat
And I remember when I knew that you'd be leaving, how I barely kept up breathing
and I bet if I had to do it all again, I'd feel the same pain,
And I remember panicked circles in the terminal in tears.
How I wept to god in fits. I've hated airports ever since.
It must be true what people say, that only time can heal the pain.
And every single day I feel it fade away, but -
I still remember how the distance tricked us,
and lead us helpless by the wrist into a pit to be devoured.
I still remember how we held so strong to this,
though we had never really settled on a way out.
I still remember the silence, and how we'd always find a way
to turn and run to our mistakes.
I still remember how it all came back together just to fall apart again.
My dear, I hear your voice in mine.
I've been alone here, I've been afraid, my dear.
I've been at home here. You've been away for years. I've been alone.
I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me.
I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea.
I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear.
It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear.
So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head.
And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.
If I can't love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend.
And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end.