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Rating: This man has sold over twenty million records in America. Here in Italy, however, he is known mainly (if not exclusively) for being the brute who replaced the equally brute (and now sworn enemy) Tommy Lee in winning the affections of Pamela Anderson—having also married her, having children with her, keeping her satisfied with the minimum effort, and recently divorced her. Have we underestimated him so far, considering him just "Mr. Anderson of the moment"? It's likely since Pamela, while guaranteeing media overexposure, represents a significant hurdle in terms of artistic credibility (two significant hurdles). After all, the ultimate playmate, having been with Brett Anderson of Poison, the aforementioned ultra-tattooed Tommy Lee (and who knows how many other Californian rock scum without ever reaching the altar or appearing on the internet), leads us to the notion, by association of ideas, that anyone involved with her cannot correspond to an artist worthy of consideration, much less to a man with a modicum of style! Imagine marrying her!
Anyway, it should be said, that relationship and the related media-gossip behemoth are now water under the bridge; while Anderson has a new husband and a new child on the way, Kid Rock has a new album, and there is no longer any barrier between him and us... His new life as an artist starts here, from this first Kid Rock CD, and no longer "Kid Rock, the new brute sleeping with Pamela Anderson, the one from Baywatch"!
And so? What is this Kid Rock like? The usual Californian covered in tattoos, or maybe something more? This album is a more than eloquent response, one that brooks no argument. From what we hear, it can be gathered that the guy, whose real name is Robert James Ritchie, has few ideas, and the ones he does have serve to create tracks of unparalleled ugliness. The song "All Summer Long" is emblematic—a sort of rock-remix of "Sweet Home Alabama," but played by a real rock band. The most famous riff in rock history after "Satisfaction" is back, the title of the masterpiece is quoted and re-quoted, the sounds are identical... Couldn't he have left it to any rock DJ?
The freak museum in this CD also includes "Roll On," a ballad whose verses are practically copied from the unplugged version of "The Saddest Song" by the Ataris (which says it all!), while the choruses are a mix of the groove of Creedence Clearwater Revival and the undertones of more recent ballads by the Red Hot Chili Peppers: practically, choruses in CCRRHCP style!
The tour continues with "So Hott," with sprawling riffs that seem like Stone Temple Pilots stripped of the Seattle Sound as a musical standard to be reached starting from faraway San Diego. And then there's the vomit-inducing rapblueshardrock of "Sugar," in which Kid Rock is half Fred Durst and half Axl Rose (how disgusting!). How can one stop in this painful escalation, when dealing with "New Orleans," a dixie-country, a charleston-blues, a terrifying chimera that becomes classic country in the unpretentious chorus, almost standing as an emblem of Kid Rock's surrender in the face of the clear futility of his genetic experiments? In other words: "I better go back to doing normal things, that go unnoticed, because if I try to be legendary, I just make an embarrassment of myself"... And what else can one do if "Don't Tell Me You Love Me" has choruses in Joan Jett (or Motley Crue) style attached to Southern country?
Only a few other tracks remain, where Kid Rock, if not doing anything good, at least doesn't generate other Frankenstein monsters: the title track is a rock piece by Aerosmith made too polished, and the rock kid lacks the right bite in his vocal cords. In the following "Amen," sweaty farmer rock, our man tries to imitate Springsteen's hopeful rock but leaves us as he found us. What purpose do "Blue Jeans And A Rosary," regular and barely passable country, and the final "Half Your Age," another old yankee episode with a blues piano replacing traditional violin, serve? Not to mention "When You Love Someone," where at any moment you expect the riff of "Blaze Of Glory" by Jon Bon Jovi, which never arrives...
What do these tracks add to the vast and never-fading rock and country production? What new does this blonde youth have to say? What could justify another handful of millions of copies he's currently selling in America with this crappy album? And what should be there, worthy of sale in Europe, and of possible success even in Italy?
How can he pretend to daze us with "simple people's American life" themes with an artist name like his? How can he have the presumption to pour all these sacred references into his proverbial bad taste, given that he marries playmates only to divorce them four months later? How can he title this album "Rock'n'Roll Jesus," in such a way that those words appear on the cover alongside his name? Does he believe he's the new rock god?
In short, after this careful analysis, procuring this CD is equivalent to joining Kid Rock in what is an unpardonable blasphemy. Vade retro!
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
02 Amen (04:40)
It's another night in hell
Another child won't live to tell
Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death
And as we sit free and well
Another soldier has to yell
Tell my wife and children
I love them in his last breath
C'mon now amen, amen, amen, amen
Habitual offenders
Scumbag lawyers with agendas
I'll tell you sometimes people
I don't know what's worse
Natural disasters
Or these wolves-in-sheep-clothed pastors
Now God damn it I'm scared
To send my children to church
And how can we seek salvation
When our nation's race relations
Got me feeling guilty of being white
But faith in human nature
Our creator and our savior
I'm no saint but I believe in what is right
C'mon now amen, amen
I said amen, amen
Stop pointing fingers
And take some blame
Pull your future
Away from the flame
Open up your mind and start to live
Stop short-changing your neighbors
Living off hand outs and favors, and maybe
Give a little bit more than you got to give
Simplify, testify
Identify, rectify
And if I get high
Stop being so uptight
It's only human nature
And I am not a stranger
So baby won't you
Stay with me tonight
And when a calls away
To break the sound
I'm fading down
I need someone
Oh to be someone
They just sinking down
And holding back
I hold the dawn and run
They don't save a child
Oh, to save a child
It's a matter of salvation
From them patience up above
So don't give up so damn easy
On the one you love (one you love)
Somewhere you got a brother, sister
Friend, grandmother, niece or nephew
Just dying to be with you
You know there's someone out there
Who unconditionally, religiously loves you
So just hold on 'cause you know it's true
And if you can take the pain
And you can withstand anything
And one day stand
Hand in hand with the truth
I said amen, I said amen
I said amen, I said amen
03 All Summer Long (04:56)
It was 1989
My thoughts were short, my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen
And she was far from in-between
It was summertime in northern Michigan
Splashing through the sandbar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Catching walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun
We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock n' roll
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Now nothing seems as strange
As when the leaves begin to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes I hear that song
And I start to sing along
And think "Man, I'd love to see that girl again"
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
04 Roll On (06:12)
Sittin' here alone
I'm lookin back on where I've roamed
And laughing, oh how I swore
I'd win and not get burned
Left my family, left my home
I worked my fingers to the bone
And there was not a stone
I did not leave unturned
And I was having a good time
Oh, roll on
Roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
And one step closer
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, we're on borrowed time
So roll on roller coaster
Roll on tonight
Money and success
I don't complain about the stress
I wanted this and now its here
So I don't bitch
And I swear that time's a trick
It disappears oh so quick
Man I was just 16,
Now I'm staring at 36
But I'm still having a good time! (Good time!)
Oh, roll on
Roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
And one step closer
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, we're on borrowed time
So roll on roller coaster
Roll on tonight (Roll on tonight)
And I know it's hard to see
With the sun in your eyes
But one day you're gonna say
I saw the light
And now headin' for the hill
And I just cannot wait until
My children grow up
To have children of their own
And I'll be telling them about
The times I turned the party out
And how I stood
Against an army all alone
Drinkin' wine and stayin' high
And realized it couldn't last
And how I turned myself around
And went down another path
And the signs we must observe
When life's changes do occur
But most of all I'll tell them
Just how proud I am of them
And always have a good time
It's all love and good times
Let's all have a good time
Oh, roll on
Roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
And one step closer
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, we're on borrowed time
So roll on roller coaster
Roll on tonight (Roll on tonight)
05 So Hott (04:06)
You got a body like the devil
And you smell like sex
I can tell you're trouble
But I'm still obsessed
Because you know you're
So hott, I wanna get you alone
So hott, I wanna get you stoned
So hott, I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
You're like the kiss of death
Like the hand of fate
I can tell you're trouble
But I still wanna taste
Because you know you're
So hott, I wanna get you alone
So hott, I wanna get you stoned
So hott, I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
Because you know you're
So hott, I wanna get you alone
So hott, I wanna get you stoned
So hott, I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
You're so hott, I wanna get you alone
I wanna get you stoned
I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
See you again
See you again
06 Sugar (03:44)
Hard to remember
If anything was real
Cold like December
And I don't like how that feels
I been livin' a long time
I been givin' a long time too
And I can't believe
I wasted so much time on you
But time has brought me back around
Back around to me
And I feel so free, yeah
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Bad like Brutus, hit like Joe Louis
I gots lots of cash but I'm not Jewish
I'm not no nudist, I'm fully clothed
And I fuck hot pussy until it's cold
Got rhymes of gold, Got a voice of platinum
I'm not Dwayne Wayne but that's what's happening
I'm back in black and if ya have to ask
You can kiss my Anglo-Saxon ass
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Hot like a toddie, smooth like Mondovi
Around the way they call me Bathroom Bobby
Sugar is my hobby and my greatest joy
And that's why they call me "cowboy"
No jive, I come alive like Frampton
I'm bigger than Seinfeld's house in the Hamptons
Cramp my style, go ahead and give it your best
But I ain't met a muthafucka who can do that yet
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Whoo hoo, whoo hoo
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Whoo hoo, whoo hoo
They call me Shotgun Bobby, rock the young hotties
Jock the John Gottis, sock the paparazzi
Real life Fonzie, I roll like Yahtzee
I like stars and bars but I ain't no Nazi
So fuck you, fuck you in the nose
Fuck you and your flows, fuck you and your hoes
Fuck you and your mother if you can't understand it
I'm the illest muthafucker on the God damn planet
Huh
08 New Orleans (06:36)
Come on
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
I'm goin' down to New Orleans and leavin' all of this behind
Headin' south from Detroit
I got Cajun cookin' on my mind
When I get to New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
Yeah in a town like New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
I'll be high 10 Rollin' till the early morning break daylight
A jambalaya and a crawfish pie gonna start my day
But when the sun goes down we gonna "bon temps roulez"
Hey
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
I'm goin' down to New Orleans where the stars on the sidewalk shine
Burnin' through Mississippi with the Big Easy on my mind
When I get to New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
Yeah in a town like New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
And I'm gonna party like the devil if the Neville brothers play tonight
Jambalaya and a crawfish pie gonna make my day
Down on the Bayou singing Hey Pocky Way
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
Down in New Orleans good peoples they's hard to find
I bet he's making gumbo and drinkin' homemade wine
A jukebox shakin' and breakin' down in New Orleans
I'll be the highest hillbilly that Bourbon Street has ever seen
Oh yeah, yeah
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
I'm goin' down to New Orleans and leavin' all of this behind
If the good Lord's willing and the rivers don't start to rise
And when I get to New Orleans someone's gonna treat me right
Said in a town like New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
All the cats in the cradle gonna rock this kid tonight
Oh hey
A jukebox shakin' and breakin' down in New Orleans
And if you're payin' for fun a french quarters really all you need
I'm going Down to New Orleans
Down to New Orleans
(Repeat)
Going down, down
Down, down tonight
(Repeat)
10 Blue Jeans and a Rosary (04:35)
All my life I've been searchin'
All my life I've been uncertain
I been abandoned and left alone
At fifteen I had to leave home
The black sheep, the bad seed
At a roadside bar in Tennessee
I met an angel to rescue me
She rescued me
She wore blue jeans and a rosary
Believed in God and believed in me
All her friends think she's a little crazy
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don't give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good
She's happy with a bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood
Two packs and a pint a day
To hide the shame
And wash away the pain
Aww the pain
Every road was a dead-end street
Runnin' from the law
And runnin' on empty
You couldn't shake the marks that were left on me
At a roadside bar in Tennessee
I met an angel to rescue me
She rescued me
She wore blue jeans and a rosary
Believed in God and believed in me
All her friends think she's a little crazy
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don't give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good
She's happy with a bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood
(Repeat)
Misunderstood
Misunderstood
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