Guns N' Roses
Chinese Democracy

"Here comes yet another review of Chinese Democracy", many of you will say, exasperated, and perhaps you'll give my review a 1 without even reading it. Well, to those of you, should you be among us, I would like to extend an invitation: read it first, then express your opinions on it.

This is because, among the various reviews of this album I've read, all spoke quite well of it. However, I am not convinced. I'm a bit like Saint Thomas, I don't believe until I dab my fingers into the wounds and side, I, personally. Indeed, I wanted, personally, to savor the album with my palate. Mine, and no one else's. And so I did.

However, before discussing the album, it seems appropriate to make a clarification regarding Guns N' Roses.

Who are the Guns? They are (or rather: they were) a band formed from the fusion of two groups that had made glam n' rock their life religion, namely L.A. Guns and Hollywood Roses. From which, indeed, the name "Guns N' Roses". I will never forget their debut album, that "Appetite For Destruction" that so stirred the masses and launched the Guns phenomenon globally. Followed by a series of albums, slightly toned down, but essentially nice and assimilable. Perhaps less street, slightly winking at a more commercial rock. Yet truly beautiful. It's hard to forget the two "Use Your Illusion", damn engaging albums, albeit containing the grave error of being too prolix in the tracks. Maybe, perhaps, they would have done better to release just one album containing fewer tracks but of undoubtedly superior quality. But, these, will remain personal opinions, debatable by everyone, after all.

Then, the decline. Izzy's departure, the stylistic death of the Guns, Axl Rose's prima donna antics, internal disagreements, that "Spaghetti Incident?", a cover album that decreed the definitive death of the band that soon after disbanded, hanging up their guitars and each member going their own way.

We are well aware of the vicissitudes of the members, each of whom attempted, in vain, their own solo career, like Izzy himself or Slash. Solo careers ended in the slaughterhouse due to the lack of ideas they offered. Hence, the brilliant idea to form, all together again (or almost) a new band, the Velvet Revolver. But that's another story.

What happened to Guns N' Roses? Was it really over? No. Because that charlatan Axl had purchased the rights to use the band's monicker (acquiring all its shares. In the States, highly successful bands operate like our Joint-Stock Companies) and became the "sole shareholder" of Guns N' Roses, retaining the name and offering, at least once a year, the birth of a new album, the much-awaited "Chinese Democracy" which, now due to mass dismissals within the band, now because Axl was too busy serving a few days in prison, now because, again Axl, had to get a few more doses of coke, was being delayed. And, all the fans waited, for 15 years, the release of "Chinese Democracy".

Year of the Lord 2008. "Chinese Democracy" is born and available on the market. What can be expected? A hard rock album, of street n' glam? An album that spat out anger like the previous ones?

If only it had gone that way.... In a period when the old glories decide to give birth to their offspring (Metallica, Testament, and so on....), the Guns did the same. Or perhaps I should say Axl Rose's "one-man solo band" did the same.

Because in this album, not even the shadow of Guns N' Roses can be heard. Or better, this album stands to Guns N' Roses as the pope stands to Bin Laden.

More simply: this album is fucking awful.

Is this rock? The title track is a mess of sounds, "noises", samples and various crap that cover up the guitar sounds, the trademark of the band that once was.

The lack of a guitarist like Slash is felt. The lack of ideas and the compositional genius of a guy like Izzy is felt. The only thing you can hear is Axl’s (still beautiful) voice trying in vain to revive his "one-man solo band" with this musical crap. A nightmare for all the eardrums.

An album as ugly as sin, in which barely "The Blues", the ballad of the album, is saved. An album that closes with an inhuman monstrosity of immense proportions, such as "Silkworms", a song that could solve constipation problems for all constipated people on the planet.

Having said that, I move to the conclusions: this is an album aimed exclusively at those who have decided to finish it with life or, as often happens, to collectors, nostalgics, all those who have impatiently awaited the release, for 15 long and interminable years, of the full-length in question.

An album that will most likely be destined as a supporter of the wobbly table that each of you has at home.