Elvira
Monster Hits

Elvira - "Monster Hits" (Rhino Records, 1994)

Today it's hot. Here is a cute mini review for the mega babe Elvira, the cherry on the weekend. Short and sweet, there you go! Speaking of edibility, have you ever eaten panettone in mid-August on the beach—perhaps with a little ice cream on top? Well, I have. It's the same as those poor souls below the equator who ignorantly celebrate Christmas without knowing that Jesus's birth date is unknown and that the 25th was the feast of the pagan Solis Invicti, when the sun enters Capricorn—so they happily celebrate the winter solstice at the height of summer, with our little Christmas trees: Ariosto was right, who on the Moon there is no little nor much madness; it's here below and never departs.

I was saying it's a bit the same thing to talk about Elvira the queen of Halloween on a sultry June day. But June is sacred to Juno, so there's something stirring. Junoesque Elvira.
I'm not a fan of foreign things, but in front of Elvira, aka Cassandra Peterson, adopted Italian,
I would kneel... After all, my reviews abound with ladies, and they often have something to do with my autobiographical-Fellini amusement park.
The maestro is involved because our beautiful redhead—dying her hair raven-blue-black to become Elvira—thanks to a chance meeting with director Federico Fellini, landed a small role in the film "Roma" (1972).
Born in Manhattan, Kansas, Cassandra came to Rome in the early '70s and became a singer in a rock band, touring Europe: she then returned to the USA to join the Los Angeles comedy troupe "The Groundlings," where she created the "Elvira" character that would make her famous.

Beautiful and talented - do you remember the Liberaebella shampoo? - she's a complete showgirl, a dancer at the casino-hotel "The Dunes" in Las Vegas, has studied singing, dancing, acting, and starred in some low-budget erotic films, all accompanied by several photos of her in a very gynecological pose, which orbit on the web and I strongly recommend viewing them: this September Virgo, red-haired beauty is stunning-take a look at the photos for those who want to understand.
The dark ladies, now extinct, had considerable charm and occasionally gravitated into my life: one of my exes, M.N., a wealthy Roman dark girl, a decent singer, was blonde and dyed blue, obsessed with The Cure, she had a poster on the ceiling with that pansy Smith staring at me.. and that I'd often fill with darts when she wasn't looking... I often accompanied her to her crowd's virtual headquarters at Bacillario, a goth shop on Via del Corso Bacillario; I managed to attract her by posing as a pseudo-new-wave within Alex Piccioni's Duranian crowd, those of Vikingo's at Fregene-seems like a Verdone movie crew. Another one I picked up at a party, Ursula, dressed as Mrs. Addams, we parted shortly after, she wasn't a true dark...

Back to business: Elvira is an exciting singer even if she just whispers something in your ear, and she also has two natural show-stopping airbags: "Elvira the right girl with the boobs in the right place," said an ad. Only she and Dolly Parton could have an '80s Bally pinball dedicated to them.
This is one of the many collections dedicated to Elvira, who, older now, is a pop icon. The "Monster Hits" collection also includes tracks by the Tubes - Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman and Weird Science - by Oingo Boingo. She sings Zombie Stomp - Haunted House - plus an introduction and an ending.

Her evil vamp appearance is offset by a strong hint of humor; her philosophy of life is all in this line from the film Elvira, the mistress of the dark: the fast-food owner says: "I am convinced that it's all the fault of this cheap slut..." and Elvira answers: "and who are you, one of the virgins with pure mantles, broken at the back but intact at the front?" Not even Monty Python...

V.R.