Elio e le Storie Tese
Li Immortacci

An enormous Shakespearean doubt has always tormented me: who are the singers mentioned in the song "Li Immortacci" by Elio e Le Storie Tese, featured in their 1996 album "Eat The Phikis", where the entertaining and very amused participations of Giorgia and Edoardo Vianello stand out? I have decided to find out once and for all, so that this piece will no longer hold any secrets for me (and for you)! But enough chatter, let's get started:

My cousin the todrara who knows a lot of people says
The dead singers are not really dead
They're hidden in Rome living the good life
They have been requisitioned by a company
To sell more records and get some publicity

"La todrara": a reference to Giorgia's surname, Todrani; but, knowing the Eelst, I wouldn't rule out other sexually suggestive meanings.

At Tuscolano there's the guitar guy
Known as the vuducialdaro
While at Testaccio you find the hermaphrodite (yeeh)
Who never stops singing to us
The champions are us

"The guitar guy known as the vuducialdaro": Jimi Hendrix, called Vuducialdaro from the song “Voodoo Child”; "The hermaphrodite who never stops singing to us 'The champions are us'": Freddy Mercury, “The champions are us” is obviously “We are the champions”

At Muro Torto you see the rastaman
Who gives us the rastaman vibrations
He tells a young girl
Not to cry because
We smoke the cigarette with friend Selassie

"The rastaman who gives us the rastaman vibrations, he tells a young girl not to cry because we smoke the cigarette with friend Selassie”: Bob Marley, author of “No woman, no cry”, and friend of Selassie

We are the immortals, we are the immortals
The highest dead
But it’s not true, but it’s not true
We have all risen
We are the zombies of the world
Singing guided by the moog of the lighthouse guardian
We are the immortals

"Moog of the lighthouse guardian": referring to Federico Monti Arduini (The Lighthouse Keeper), a 70s musician known for using the moog

In Centocelle the pelvic man reigns
Who bappaloobas and eats all the fruits
He has a daughter who excites the thriller guy
His name is Micheletto
But the little black doesn’t want

"The pelvic man who bappaloobas and eats all the fruits, has a daughter who excites the thriller guy named Micheletto but the little black doesn’t want”: The Pelvic Man: Elvis Presley, “bappaluba” and “tutti frutti” obviously derive from “Be bop a lula” and “Tutti Frutti”; The Pelvic Man’s daughter: Lisa Marie Presley; The Thriller Guy: Michael Jackson, husband of Lisa Marie Presley and author of "Thriller" who “the little black doesn’t want” because, as everyone knows, he “painted” himself white

But when evening comes, the immortals
Descend from the seven hills into the plain
With scary huge whores
Then with the pimp they intone the refrain

We are the immortals, we are the immortals
The highest dead
But we don’t care, but we don’t care
We are always the strongest
We like to speed on the ring road
But in the late night the canaro invites us to
Have a couple of spaghetti

The Canaro: Pietro De Negri, a worker in a dog grooming shop on Via della Magliana, convicted of kidnapping, torturing, and killing, under the influence of cocaine, a certain Giancarlo Ricci, a guy who extorted money from him and who also inspired a 2018 film.

But at Primaporta there's the lizard king
Who with his mother wants to jump twice
With the imaginary four-eyes
With the trumpet and with the viewer
The Hanged and the Shotgun Man
They go here and there
At Fregene by the pool rolling stones

The Lizard King: Jim Morrison, singer of the Doors, called “King Lizard”; The imaginary four-eyes: John Lennon of the Beatles, author of "Imagine"; The trumpet: here there are even doubts between Armstrong, Miles Davis, and Chet Baker, wow!; The Viewer: Luigi Tenco, author of "Vedrai Vedrai"; "The Hanged": Ian Curtis of Joy Division; "The Shotgun Man": Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, who shot himself; "The Pool": Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones (“the rolling stones”)

We are the immortals, we are the immortals
Singing coffins
When you pass away when you pass away
You go under two meters
You can apply to return
But the application makes a world tour and you remain
Coffin coffin coffin coffin coffin immortals
Coffin coffin immortals retrofit

Thus ends this cheerful tune, which musically reprises the rhythm of "I Watussi" by Edoardo Vianello. At the end of this analysis, I have one less burden on my stomach, as the initial doubt has almost completely unraveled. Of course, to solve such a mystery, I had to resort to a very authoritative source: the Internet! Despite this, as you may unfortunately have noticed, some doubts remain: therefore I invite any kind-hearted debaserian to fill these persistent and shameful gaps, so that the piece in question truly holds no more secrets. Perhaps where Saint Internet can’t, Saint DeBaser can, who knows!!!