DavideWilliams

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DavideWilliams
DavideWilliams
19 sep 22

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How to Deal with Jerks
The Wall Street Journal has explored a very timely topic, indeed.
Elizabeth Bernstein is a journalist for the Wall Street Journal who writes a column on relationships and interpersonal interactions. In her latest article, Bernstein responds to a reader's question who, after having a confrontation with a man who tried to cut in line, asks for advice on how to deal with jerks. The reader refers specifically to the current historical moment we are experiencing, arguing that it has become much more common to encounter irritable, rude, and domineering people.

Bernstein responds by proposing a simple strategy, though likely not suitable for everyone, especially not for those who are a bit impulsive. Before explaining it, she makes an important clarification, stating that her advice "applies in cases of brief encounters with strangers. If you feel endangered, or are regularly subjected to attacks from someone you know, you need to seek help from authorities."

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The first thing to keep in mind is that we are going through a period in which people are actually experiencing more stress than usual. When they leave their homes, some may be grappling with the risk to their health, or generally being troubled by concerns related to the changes of recent months, such as losing their job or a loved one. We cannot know if we are facing a person in distress or simply someone acting like a jerk, but this awareness can help us be a bit more understanding and take things less personally.

– Read also: What are Microaggressions

Bernstein's strategy for dealing with a jerk's behavior consists of two phases.

The first is to not get involved. In these situations, it is indeed difficult to find common ground or to convince the jerk to change their mind: escalating the dispute might only result in making them even angrier. Therefore, it is important to remain as calm and polite as possible and to withdraw from the confrontation, even physically if possible.

The second phase involves a moment of self-satisfaction. While the jerk will likely be ashamed of their behavior, you can take pride in having not acted poorly, in maintaining control, and in staying true to your values. This awareness is also very helpful in dispelling the sense of helplessness that can be felt in some cases when someone treats us badly and we decide not to react.

Even if it may seem that jerks do not suffer from their aggressive behaviors, a study conducted by the University of Florida has shown the opposite: people in positions of power who are more inclined to exhibit violent attitudes toward their subordinates are also...
  
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