Voto:
Fuck me? You go! You and all this shit of a city and the people living in it.
Fuck the beggars asking me for money and laughing at me behind my back.
Fuck the window washers dirtying the clean glass of my car.
Fuck the Sikhs and Pakistanis, speeding through the streets in their decrepit taxis! They stink of curry from every pore; they send my nostrils into paranoia! Aspiring terrorists, and slow the fuck down!
Fuck the Chelsea boys, with their hairless chests and pumped biceps, who suck each other off in my parks and flaunt it on the Gay Channel.
Fuck the Korean shopkeepers, with their pyramids of overpriced fruit, with their flowers wrapped in plastic: they've been here for ten years and still can't put two words together.
Fuck the Russians of Brighton Beach, mobsters and violent, sitting in bars sipping their tea with a sugar cube stuck between their teeth; they steal, cheat, and conspire. Go back to where the fuck you came from!
Fuck the Orthodox Jews, pacing up and down 47th Street in their dandruff-covered overcoats selling diamonds from apartheid South Africa.
Fuck the Wall Street brokers, who think they're the masters of the universe; those sons of bitches feel like Michael Douglas/Gordon Gekko and think of new ways to rob the hard-working poor. Lock those Enron assholes up to rot for life!!! And Bush and Cheney didn't know anything about that mess?! Give me a fucking break! Fuck Tyco, fuck ImClone, fuck Adelphia, fuck WorldCom...
Fuck the Puerto Ricans: twenty in a car, driving up social assistance costs. And don’t get me started on those Dominican wannabes: compared to them, Puerto Ricans are real phenomena.
Fuck the Italians of Bensonhurst with their pomaded hair, their nylon tracksuits, their St. Anthony medals, swinging their Jason Giambi signed baseball bats, hoping for an audition for The Sopranos.
Fuck the ladies of the Upper East Side, with their Hermès scarves and $50 artichokes from Balducci: with their silicone-pumped faces, made-up, lacquered, and lifted. You can't fool anyone, you old hags!
Fuck the Black folks in Harlem. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take five steps to get to the basket, then turn around and blame white racism. Slavery ended 137 years ago. Move your asses, it's time!
Fuck the corrupt cops who impale poor souls and riddled them with forty-one bullets, hidden behind their wall of silence. You have betrayed our trust!
Fuck the priests who put their hands in the pants of innocent children. Fuck the Church that protects them, not freeing us from evil. And while we're at it, I'll throw in Jesus Christ. He got off easy: one day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and then Hallelujahs from the angels for the rest of eternity. Try spending seven years in Otisville prison.
Fuck Osama Bin Laden, fuck Al Qaeda, and those backward cave-dwellers of fundamentalists around the world. In the name of the thousands of innocent lives taken, I wish you to spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting slowly in hell. Camel jockeys with towels on your heads, kiss my noble Irish balls!
Fuck Jacob Elinsky, whiny and discontent. Fuck Francis Slaughtery, my best friend, who judges me with his eyes glued to my girlfriend's ass. Fuck Naturelle Riviera: I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me out to the police, damn bitch!
Fuck my father, with his unhealable pain, who drinks mineral water behind the bar of his pub, selling whiskey to the firemen while cheering for the Bronx Bombers.
Fuck this city and the people living in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses of Park Avenue, from the public housing of the Bronx to the lofts of Soho, from the high-rises of Alphabet City to the brownstone houses of Park Slope and the two-story homes of Staten Island. Let an earthquake make it collapse, let fires destroy it, let it burn to ash, and let the waters rise and drown this rat-infested sewer. No... No, fuck y
