Timeline of events:
After yet another economic scandal (Bush had shares in arms factories...) the Republicans are looking for a hardliner, someone who always says what he thinks...
After a worldwide selection, Mjolner wins the primaries, beating Jenna Jameson and Britney Spears (two who always say whatâs on their minds).
Mjolner is elected President of the U.S.A.
He declares that Zionists and Muslims must coexist and commits to international politics: he helps both Israel and the Arabs (Iran first), selling the best armaments.
Due to an "error," Israel attacks Syria (a strange man dressed in black, but with a pin of the Casabianca, would have arrived on his trusty steed accompanied by a wolf and a raven... he would have pressed the red button to initiate the invasions at the Israeli headquarters).
Iran intervenes alongside Syria, using new teleportation technologies (provided by a man with a mustache and a glass eye) to bypass Iraq.
The Arab countries, on the advice of their U.S. ally, intervene against Iran and Israel simultaneously.
The U.S. President (who is none other than Mjolner) calls NATO because his army is still mired in the Iraqi mess.
Iraq, on the advice of a man eager to wipe out the Jews as foreigners, allies with Iran.
(We await the end of the war, sensing the wind and aligning ourselves with the strongest as usual. We choose the U.S... I forgot Mjolner appoints his buddy Borghezio as Prime Minister.)
The Chinese align with Iran after ensuring that we are siding with the Americans. Statistically, itâs impossible for them to lose against us.
The Russians side with the Chinese for the same reason.
The Germans conquer France again by going north of the Maginot Line. The French take it out on Materazzi and launch their few remaining atomic bombs at Interâs headquarters.
In the United Kingdom, Norway, Sweden, and Denmark, they celebrate the birthday of the new king: Mjolner I, descendant of Odin and Thor, as well as the last true Aryan.
It is discovered that the Russian Tsar bomb has been improved over 45 years and can now be transported despite its size and weight.
Unfortunately, during the flight to the USA, the atomic bomber is shot down over Europe by a mysterious plane piloted by some kamikazes shouting ready to die for Mjolner our God.
This site is no longer updated due to an indefinite absence of reviewers, except for one...
4000 atomic warheads are launched at each other, ordered by the same person committed to cleaning the world.
The Sun feels mocked, seeing a planet shine brighter than itself.
The disappearance of Earth causes gravitational disturbances that implode the galaxy upon itself.
The aliens from Omega X, led by their new emperor Mjolner, son of Frida, after 1000 years of planning to take us down, find that one year after the fateful landing, thereâs nothing left on the maps. They curse in Martian in vain. Their fuel runs out and they all die.
The aliens from Omega X accuse the aliens of the Quazar Half Moon of terrorism. The first star war breaks out and the entire universe goes to hell.
Unbelievably, the only thing that survives is the papacy. The new pope is...