Kyrielison

PARALLELISMS AND DIVERGENCES AMONG THE DIFFERENT USERS OF DEBASER: Bonny91 is 16 years old. Unfortunately, I am 39. I, at 16 years old—aside from vigorously pleasuring myself with both hands (perhaps a nod to the equivalent backhand of the great Jimmy)—couldn't do much else. I, at 16 years old, listened to the complete works of Pooh, found Gianni Togni interesting, and thought the Kiss were transgressive (still better than many 16-year-olds today, who consider Vasco Rossi transgressive...). I, at 16, if I was taken to an auditorium, would fall asleep like a rock and couldn't wait to get home to watch Bim Bum Bam. I, at 16, concerning the Schubert family, knew Karin better than Franz. I, at 16, if I had read a sentence like "the continuous falls of the first movement give way to the melodic flow of the andante, only to conclude with the sparks of the vivacious concluding allegro," wouldn't have understood it; let alone write it. I, at 16, the only thing I knew about Haydn was that "the mountains smile and the little goats say hello," as the famous line goes. I, at 16, if I wrote anything, it was to impress a girl. Who then invariably didn't give it to me and instead expressed some well-founded doubts about my use of punctuation. I, at 16, if I had been asked how a concert (presumably of Renato Zero) was, at most I could have said "cool." And if I wanted to look good, I would have added "legendary." I, at 16, would have found "melancholic and twilight [like] the fading embers in the fireplace" only if I had bought 12 rows of sausages and forgotten to buy the Diavolina. I, at 16, if I had to express the concept contained in "the ineffability of Dante's memory," it would have taken me a notebook and a string of "so," "that is," "in short." I, at 16, for me, "Beethoven" was just a boulevard. I, at 16, went to a classical music concert with school and all I managed to do was make out in the balcony. I, at 16, thought Mozart was the brand of a specialty chocolate called "Kügeln." I, at 16, once stole a classical music cassette from my father, taped over the hole that prevented writing, and recorded Miguel Bosè on it. I, at 16, if I had found a sentence like "the repeated tritons are approached with unsuspected force," I would have thought it belonged to a saga like Dungeons & Dragons. I, at 16, if I had written like this, I wouldn't be here now. Thank you, Bonny91.

Some clarifications in random order:
Very often, when talking about Pink Floyd, two albums are overlooked, the existence of which remains uncertain to this day. In fact, considering "The Kitchen" and "An Accountant over the Rainbow" as well, the album just reviewed turns out to be the eleventh studio album of the English band. Nonetheless, there seems to be no trace of the two works in literature — at least until the moment we go to print — except in the textbook for middle schools in the province of Bergamo, whose authority on musical matters is frequently called into question. Nevertheless, the janitor of the "Leopoldo Franchetti" school in Caravaggio seems ready to swear on the existence of these two masterpieces... According to him, the first was written in 1968, immediately after the famous "A Saucerful of Secrets." At that time, the relationship between Waters and Barrett was already quite tense, most of the disagreements stemming from a different evaluation of the "Celentano" phenomenon, which was very much in vogue in Italy, although both considered him, albeit with different shades, an idiot. The release of the single "Una carezza in un pugno" broke the precarious balance of an already unstable situation: Barrett, in spite, enrolled in the Cantagiro, where he got the chance to fall in love with a very young Caterina Caselli and later found a hippie community in San Casciano Val di Pesa, where he still lives managing a vegetarian deli. Waters, on the other hand, desperate at the thought of having lost his friend, first attempted suicide by uttering the word "trendy" near Asor Rosa, then decided to turn the page by composing one of the group’s most introspective and contained albums. Unfortunately, just as it was about to go to print, the pony express that was supposed to deliver the precious recording to the label's studios decided to betray its mercurial vocation and enrolled in the Materials Engineering department. The envelope containing the first recording of "The Kitchen" thus arrived in the hands of Jonathan Barrymore, a porter from Hillingdon waiting for a Capricciosa. The laconic words he delivered to History and the operator of "Pizza Home Inc." were: "Was'nt the Limoncello included in the bill?".
The genesis of "An Accountant over the Rainbow" also remains shrouded in legendary halos. Andrew King and Peter Jenner — the two brilliant managers of the London group — were actually homosexual and, as such, would have sold their mother to the Bedouins just to attend a concert by Raffaella Carrà, then a debutante and the first user of the phrase "I want to become a complete showgirl." They obtained tickets for the Bolognese artist's show, but upon exiting the theater, they met their death, being overwhelmed by the crowd fleeing from the adjacent Cineforum where "Le lacrime amare di Petra von Kant" by Rainer Werner Fassbinder was being screened. The two impresarios were buried on the spot, where it is still possible to find a plaque that reads: "To Andrew and Peter, who flew fat in the sky on that autumn day in the London industrial zone." Could it be that the cover of Animals is just a dedication?...
P.S. Seriously: to me, the review didn’t seem bad, except for the fact that there are now more reviews of Atom Earth Mother than remedies to enlarge the penis. And I'm starting to believe more and more in the latter...

Great and plentiful. Like the rations in the military. No.. I'm serious. I really laughed. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Bonny91. And thanks to the senders of the new responses! I’ll satisfy your curiosity right away: Kyrieleison means "Lord, have mercy" and it's the beginning of all masses, sung and not (at least as long as they were in Latin). In Greek, however, "eleison" - from what I've been told, since I have no knowledge of it at all - is the imperative of the verb we could translate as "have mercy." And I, more and more, am in need of mercy. Yours affectionately, Kyrieleison.

My dear Nofake... honestly, I wasn’t aware of this operatic embargo against Belpaese. I read somewhere, in fact, that the most performed operas in the world would be "Il Flauto Magico" and "Carmen". Now: while the first one is absolutely indispensable – especially if among one's close friends is Licio Gelli – the second one is not! The fact remains that it continues to be performed in most theaters around the world. I wondered why that is? I don’t have an answer... I have a few, but one more flawed and contradictory than the other. I'll share the most accredited with you (by me, of course... as well as by my mother and some of her friends): there is a sort of artistic "svalutation" towards everything Italian. While before it was enough to say "spaghetti" for someone to ask for advice on how to furnish the dining room or which edition of Turandot to prefer, now the exact opposite happens. It’s a matter of stereotypes, isn’t it?.. Perhaps banal... but comfortable, comfortable. And I know people so racist and locked in their stereotypes that they can’t listen to the gypsy chorus of "Trovatore" without keeping a firm grip on their wallet. Yours affectionately, Kyrieleison.

I hadn't thought of this, Sabatino... They can blind me! I was just referring to a more general "free" use of the material that one puts online. It's the child of humanity, no longer exactly its own.... And so be it. Kyrieleison

To tell the truth, my dear Sabatino, I struggle to remember who Maurizio Milani is... You’re probably referring to some part of my response that could be attributed to this elusive Maurizio Milani. Well... it could be. I've heard a similar joke from Vergassola... and, some time ago, even from a comedian at Zelig. However, several times I've written something online... and I can guarantee that, just a few days later, I've read or heard it somewhere else. It’s the virtual world, baby... Didn’t you know it works like that? Yours affectionately, Kyrieleison

To tell the truth, my dear Sabatino, I struggle to remember who Maurizio Milani is... You’re probably referring to some part of my response that could be attributed to this elusive Maurizio Milani. Well... it could be. I've heard a similar joke from Vergassola... and, some time ago, even from a comedian at Zelig. However, several times I've written something online... and I can guarantee that, just a few days later, I've read or heard it somewhere else. It’s the virtual world, baby... Didn’t you know it works like that? Yours affectionately, Kyrieleison

Guys... what can I say?... I’m a certain age. I nearly got emotional reading your comments... I’d like to thank you all, one by one. I actually didn’t intend to send any review: I just accompanied a friend to Miss Italia... Then, for strange reasons, they picked me and my review, while she’s now a hairdresser in San Casciano Val di Pesa. Anyway, she asked me to tell you that for her, Family is the most important value. Yours sincerely, Kyrieleison (and not "Kyrielison," as I mistakenly wrote, damn it!)