Workhorse

Oh my God. There's a song here where Ice-T's appearance is the best part. Then they imitate hair metal like Warrant, their past selves from a few years ago, the thrash metal of Metallica. It follows with a tear-jerking ballad that is boring and some not awful but trivial tracks, among which stands out a Rusty Angels that borders on embarrassment.

An album that aims to imitate Rainbow but ultimately resembles Bon Jovi more. Fortunately, Deep Purple are top-notch craftsmen, which saves them from horror.

Double album, over two hours of music and not a single cover that comes even close to the original. I don't know what they were hoping to achieve, but the burps and the nonsense they say into the microphone between songs are just so endearing, making it clear that they are passionate big kids.

A particularly fashionable solo Gilmour with a hint of Eighties kitsch. A stretched sufficiency, but obviously far from what one would expect to hear from Pink Floyd. The least successful work of the band. For now.

The clean vocals clearly imitate Rob Zombie, the growl seems directly sampled from the first album of System of a Down and the first one of Soulfly, the keyboards are blatantly taken from Fear Factory, and the singer is more over-the-top than the Limp Bizkit guitarist without even wearing makeup. The brooding bass of Korn is missing, likely due to obvious technical limitations. The cover is too '90s for anyone, and they even manage to imitate Slipknot from three years later by putting a boring state background.

Exactly what did the record label hope to achieve by producing this stuff and passing it off as Velvet Underground? And it's a waste because, for an album that shouldn't exist, it's surprisingly enjoyable at times. Simple and cuddly pop rock, but if it weren't under the VU name, it wouldn't deserve at all the spittle it receives daily. Poor Doug Yule.