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Rating: As a professional metalhead, which I consider myself to be, every Friday the 17th of the month I go to my trusted brutal dealer, the one with the tattoo of the angel sodomizing a mussel. I always trust him, never once has he failed to provide me with a masterpiece.
That day, however, a bothersome uncertainty tormented me: I couldn’t decide if I felt more haunting gothic, hard-kitting, or anti-trend metal, and it was driving me insane. So what to buy? "Mutilated Agony" or "Mutilated Mannequins"? Dive headlong into "Drunked Orgy of Destruction" or get carried away by the foul work of "Maleficarum"? Risk it all with "Deafacation" or get brutally punished by the "Legion of Divine Punishment"? Doubt assailed me.
An urge from within was almost pushing me towards the neo-death/grind pop metal masterpiece of "Ultra Vomit", or towards the hometown brutal-grind-death metal "Vomit the Soul", when from afar I was struck: "Periodic Table of the Idiots", the band that hits me straight in the gut.
I read on: it says "bombastic and melodic metal band from Nebraska". Uhm... in fact, I don't think I feel that melodic today. Maybe there’s a mistake.
I start over. I need strong emotions. I let my memories take over. A whiff of syrupy sweetness envelops me. The "Autopy" and "One Last Torture" remind me of my girlfriend when she caresses my heart (from the inside). "Putrefy", instead, reminds me how I’ve always hated extreme sports (for example: washing myself).
Come on, time is ticking... that day was really tough.
"Malediction" or "Maleficarum"? "Social Infestation" or "Temporary Insanity"? "Necrophobic", "Necropolis", or "Necrosity"? "N’satan.com" or "Gorefecation.net"?
In the end, defeated by the events, I go for the safe choice: "Dying Fetus", a thrash/death metal band, simple, no surprises. My trusted brutal dealer nods happily behind his armor of piercings. He tells me: “this stuff is strong, buddy, these guys are too far ahead! May the mussel (taps the tattoo) be eaten by me if I'm not telling the truth. Buddy, here’s what it was: your body wasn’t accepting the inevitable, you woke up thrash/death metal this morning. Nothing else. Go home happy, go’”. He’s so sharp, my brutal dealer, behind his spiked armor.
The album is called "Infatuation with Malevolence". I go home happy.
My favorite is called "Vomiting the Fetal Embryo", because it reminds me of mommy when she used to hit me with the belt. "Kill Your Mother, Rape Your Dog" is so sweet, but my dog doesn’t think so, in fact, he always squirms when I try to pin him down, the bastard always tries to slip away. Yet in the song, the dog doesn’t slip away, that’s strange. "Your Blood Is My Wine" always makes me feel wickedly awesome, the singer yells "your blood is my wine" throughout the song and it’s Tommaso’s favorite (my friend) because he only completed elementary school and when there are too many words he struggles. He was very impressed by my brutal dealer's tattoo, and he wants one, too, with the mussel, I mean. But my friend Tommaso is nice, his favorite is "Wrethched Flesh Impalement" because this song is so avant-garde. He always says metal must evolve, but I don’t understand what he means. And to help me understand, he got the same tattoo as the brutal dealer, and I finally understood, it was a metaphor. The mussel was no longer being sodomized by the angel, they had evolved. Now, they were doing a 69.
P.S.: all the band names listed above are authentic. Have a good life, everyone.
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
07 Nocturnal Crucifixion ()
Blinding My Eyes, The Light Of Indencency, Exalted Demise, Morbid Complexity, Walkting The Path, Demonic Heredity, Reaching The End, It Opens Before Me, Unyielding To The Astral Powers, I Forsee The Unknown, Eternally They Are Chanting, Immortaly They Are Spawning, As I Watch They Stare At Me, A Gace Of Pure Insanity, Immersed In Darkness So Completely, I Find Myself Alone, Drinking From Ancient Waters, I Become One With Them, Unholy Shrouds, Incantations Shower Me, Unveiling The Secrets To Truth, Why I Must Die, Preach And Prophosize, Believers Are Taught That THeir Soulds Are Forgiven, Await The False Afterbirth, Feeling The Pain Inside From Out, Reliving The Past Once Again, Lascivious Lust, I Want To Believe, Succomb To The Horrid Disease, Stagnant And Old The Prophecy Told, Undying The Books Decieve, Forgotten And Spent, Rotting Alone, Forever To Suffer And Grieve
09 Grotesque Impalement ()
I Am Lost, Far From The Cross You Stand Before, Filled With Lust, We Are All Filled With Lust, We Want This Whore, Impale Your Flesh, Draped In Darkness, Your Guts Explode And Life Has Ceased Behind Your Eyes, Impalement, And Before, Live No More, Live No More, Overcome By Fever, Malevolent Disgrace, Wretching With Repulsion, Bleeding From The Eyes, Fester With Redemption, Your Blood Begins To Clot, Clogging The Corpulses In Your Mind, Ignoring The Pretention, Wallow In The Rot, Seven Lives Have Come And Gone, The First And The Last, And What Are We Even Here For? Some Twisted, Mindless Game? Or Is God Just Playign Tricks Upon My Brain? The Birth Of Death Begins, And With Your Life It Ends, My World Emmersed In Hate, Destroy What I Creat, Deficate, Choke On My Shit, Urinate, Drown In My Piss, Godless, Hater Of The World, Your Mind Dwells On The Absurd, As I Contemplate Your Horrible Demise, Blood Streams Down Your Face, Drained, Drained Of Life
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