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Despite their historical importance on American soil, and beyond, the Descendents remain an underrated band that has surely not been given the proper recognition relative to their value, merits, and strong influence on many future bands. Enthusiasts of the genre, and anyone who considers themselves as such, know the story of Milo Auckerman and company well, but stepping out of this niche spiral, from a global and mass perspective, the Descendents are truly little known to the general public.
California in the 80s was a tumultuous hotbed full of more or less hardcore bands, that still live in the hearts of fans today. Nonetheless, the true peculiarity that distinguishes the Descendents is something else. Compared to the various rabble-rousers and the frenzy of Black Flag and Minor Threat, they proposed a new element – melody. In essence, they preferred singing to yelling.
"Milo Goes To College" under New Alliance Records (a subdivision of SST owned by the Black Flag guitarist) is the real debut, following a single and an EP. A debut that burst onto the scene, with 15 tracks that are explosive yet melodic and sweet, balancing between a melodic hc akin to late 80s/early 90s Bad Religion and the British pop-punk of the Buzzcocks.
Starting from the premise that no one invents anything from scratch, the fact remains that the four Californians, alongside the English Buzzcocks, are the pioneers and masters of that form of punk that distances itself from the original root of the genre, especially in sound, by softening it into a more welcoming and thoughtful spiral, but as we will see, also in lyrics.
Returning to our subject, the record is a succession of true anthems, among the most genuine songs punk rock has ever produced, and it matters little if some self-proclaimed experts with certificates around their necks have decided that none of them make it into the so-called top 100 definitive rock music hits.
It kicks off with the rhythmic "Myage", which already serves as an excellent appetizer, offering a glimpse of what's ahead and immediately highlighting two important elements: Milo's excellent adolescent, genuine, and passionate voice and Lombardo's sublime bass parts, which sometimes paint joyful spring landscapes and dreamy carefree atmospheres ("Bikeage"), and other times dark and ominous vignettes ("Parents"). The bass is the cornerstone of the Descendents’ signature, exceptionally utilized during the songwriting process, as few other bands in this field have done.
"I'm Not A Punk", in its progression, is almost epic, reminiscent of Bad Religion’s "No Control", the same sensation occurs when listening to the equally successful "Suburban Home", opened and closed by a short spoken intro.
On the other side, "Catalina", "Bikeage", and "Marriage" pick up from where the opener left off, being highly anthemic and singable, as well as the core of the modern pop-punk future as it is known today. However, there remains a healthy simplicity and spontaneity as cardinal points, which many future bands forgot when playing. "Jean Is Dead", with its desperate and repeated scream "but now you're gone and I'm alone", ends the show with a final high note.
No filler, all the episodes, even the micro-organisms ("I Wanna Be A Bear") have something that captures and seduces you, but "Hope" is a gem of immeasurable value, a truly historic anthem that rises above everything and everyone, with its energy that does not leave anyone indifferent, an epic and sunny ride, comparable, yet superior to "You" by BR. A manifesto programmatic of the American four-piece.
What to say about the lyrics, other than they are amazing, a snapshot of a society made up of its own barriers and aspects, often problematic. Love and girls ("Hope"), being rejected ("Parents"), friendship, protests, and critiques of society, all themes filtered and experienced personally by Milo Auckerman (vocals and now biochemical scientist), Bill Stevenson (drums and now also sound engineer), Tony Lombardo (bass), and Frank Navetta (guitar, RIP). A sort of concept on adolescence, as the album title and the parody of the spectacled schoolboy Auckerman on the cover suggest, in which thousands of young people can find themselves described, myself included to my surprise.
Played with heart and ideals, by those who at the time believed in certain values. A cornerstone of the thirty-year-old hardcore book, that's what "Milo Goes To College" is. Long live the youthful spirit, long live the Descendents.
"...I'll be there my day will come i know someday I'll be the only one..."
Tracklist Lyrics Samples and Videos
01 Myage (02:00)
almost ready,
almost there
or is it already over?
she's a friend in need
she's a friend in deed
she needs someone to hold her
alone at night, she plans her game
correctly thinking that i'm in pain but every night it's always the same
she be a-fuckin' with my brain
'cause she don't need no one we all want to play your game
with you we know you're just a starter
but there's no reason for you to quit
just 'cause we try harder
i don't want to talk on the telephone
i don't want to see no pictures
she'll find out just what she needs and when she does
i'll get her she feels safe when she's with him
'cause he'll never try anything with her
well you know now girl,
just what you want are you going to let it scare you?
i knew it would she don't need no one and she don't need
02 I Wanna Be a Bear (00:44)
Got your jourdache jeans
Got your pretty long hair
Dinner and a movie powder your nose
Take their honey for lay
Just like pay
You're just a human being on this planet
You're just flesh and blood like all the rest
You'll get old and have a wrinkled ass
Humans are ses I want to be a bear
I want to shit in the woods
In my cave hunt my prey
Could be you, I want to have food
Burgers not berries
Ladies are women but women are ladies
Got a baited hook you are calling it
Your cherry
You want to settle down
And you want to get married
I don't want to smell your muff
03 I'm Not a Loser (01:30)
Think that I'm a loser
'Cause now my pants are too low
Think that I'm a slob
'Cause I got holes in my shoes
Think my cock is like
Just like my dirty shirt
Well you can fuck off!
'Cause I'm working sixty a week
You think that life is really tough
When your daddy won't buy you a brand new car
Take a girl out, she won't fuck you
You just bought her a gram of coke
Spend all your money on shitty drugs...
I'm not a loser!
That's right!
I'm not a loser!
I'm not a loser!
Cruise down the boulevard wasting Mommy's gas
While you're looking for some kicks on Friday night
Your only goal in life is to smoke a joint
And decide how you're gonna get laid tonight
You are a fucking son-of-a-bitch
You arrogant assholes
Your pants are too tight
You fucking homos
You suck, Mr. Buttfuck
You don't belong here
No way, you fucking gay
I'm not a loser!
04 Parents (01:40)
parents
why won't they shut up
parents
they're so fucked up
they treat me like a tool
they take me for a fool
parents
why won't they shut up
parents
they're so fucked up
oh they're so fucking dim
they look into the past
for future reference
parents
why won't they shut up
parents
they're so fucked up
they don't even know i'm a boy
they treat me like a toy
but little do they know
that one day i'll explode
i'm a boy and not a toy
i will kill and i'll destroy
i'm a boy and not a toy
i will kill and i will destroy
parents
parents
parents
they don't even know i'm a boy
they treat me like a toy
but little do they know
that one day i'll explode
i'm a boy and not a toy
i will kill and i'll destroy
i'm a boy and not a toy
i will kill and i will destroy
parents
parents
parents
parents.
06 M-16 (00:45)
go shoot your m-16
go shoot your m-16
go shoot your m-16
go shoot your m-16
i'm not going to live your american dream!
"army life is right for me
kill to save democracy
got a rebel in my sights money's worth more than his life.
so kill. . .it's fun! shoot him you're better than him
shoot him in the eye shoot him it gives you as thrill
just like as a kid only now it's for real
08 Catalina (01:48)
I'm a mess, I don't care
I'm tired of sitting at my desk
You can't bother me
Yeah, I'm far away from you, ha
Got to get away
You can't ruin my day
Can't tell me
What to do
Can't make me
Think I love you
Shoot it in your arm
You can't hurt me
I'm on my way
To Catalina
I'm not gonna read your books
My tank's full of squid
And it's getting light
And you whores, you can't make me want
I got all the fish I need
On the deck of my boat
And you can't take my heart when I'm here
long swim home
For your cute little arms
I'll steal some gas, fix my motor
Turn on my Beatles tape
And get you out of my head
Ah yes, here I am, far away from everyone, ha
Yeah, the only fish I smell
Is on the deck of my boat
I really want to go but my motor's broken
There's no scotch tape, I'm out of gas,
It looks like I'm stuck here
Shit.
It looks like I'm stuck here!!!
I'll steal some gas, fix my motor
Turn on my Doors tape
And get you out of my head
Get you out of my head.
Head!
09 Suburban Home (01:42)
I want to be stereotyped, I want to be classified.
I want to be stereotyped
I want to be classified
I want to be a clone
I want a suburban home, suburban home, suburban home
I want to be a masochist, yah
I want to be a statistic
I want a be a clone
I want a suburban home, suburban home, suburban home
I don't want no hippie pad
I want a house just like mom and dad
I want to be stereotyped,
I want to be classified
I want to be masochistic,
I want to be a statistic
I want to be a clone
I want a suburban home, suburban home, suburban home, suburban home, suburban home, suburban home
10 Statue of Liberty (02:01)
well the people walk all around the thing on an island
very far from here
they pay it homage like a god a
nd they paint it on each and every year
a sign for all it was given to us
and we all appreciate this bomb
the toursits don't know and never will
it has no use
it's meaning is gone the statue of liberty
and for united we stand we all agree it's a mystery
but why'd they give it to us?
we still don't know just why it came a present from god
or by the rain
the crowds swarm wildly to see it's peak
when i watch i go insane
why is it so important to them
what is the beauty they see in it
i don't know why i just accept it i don't want it cause it makes me sick
12 Marriage (01:41)
Do you know what I think about you?
Do you know what I feel is true?
Do you know what I think about her?
I know what she thinks about me, I'm sure
I Don't know why it's so, but it's true.
I Don't know why it's so, but it's true.
So you know what I think about you
But do you know what you want me to do?
When you see me staring at you
Do you know what I want you to do?
I don't know why it's so, but it's true
i don't know why it's so, but it's true
i don't know why it's so, but it's true
i don't know why it's so, but it's true
I don't want to have sex with you
I want to be your friend
I want to be with you
I want you to marry me
Now you know what I think about you
You know that my speed is you
I know I want you to be my wife
And be with me the rest of your life
Do you know
do you know
do you know
do you know
do you know what I think about you
13 Hope (02:01)
why can't you see you torture me? you're already thinking 'bout
someone else,
when he comes home you'll be in his arms and i'll be gone, but i know
my day will come, i know some day i'll be the only one
so now you wait for his spark, you know it'll turn you on,
he's gonna make you feel the way you wanna feel,
when he starts to lie, when it makes you cry, you know i'll be there,
my day will come, i know some day i'll be the only one
call me selfish, call me what you like, i think it's right to want someone
for all your own and not to share her love, cuz i'll have my way, you
won't have a say anyway, cuz i got you, you don't stand a chance
so now you wait for his cock, you know it'll turn you on,
he's gonna make you feel the way you wanna feel, when he starts to lie,
when it makes you cry, you know i'll be there, my day will come, i know
some day i'll be the only one....my day will come, i know some day i'll
be the only one
so now you want perfection, i see your self-destruction, you don't know
what you want, it's gonna take you years to find out,
i'm not giving up, and when you've had enough you'll take your bruised
little head and you'll come running back to me you know that i'm gonna
be the only one
14 Bikeage (02:15)
Running out of time again
Where did you go wrong this time?
When your problems overwhelm you
Go get drunk it's party time
Take a quaalude, relax your mind
Relax you body tool
Run from problems but
You'll never get away
No one love you, and you
wonder why?
Sitting there with your
Mouth full of beer
Your eyes are glazed, your face is red
Who's gonna pick you up
and use you for tonight?
And when you're on the streets
With a needle in your arm
Selling your body for another fix
Who's gonna pick you up and take
You home with them tonight? Not me!
Running out of breath again you're an
Old maid, but you're only fifteen
You're losing you little girl's charm
Cry all night but you'll never get it back
Dont be afraid, it's not too late
Save yourself, I need you here
Wearing off, wearing out
I can't think about this cause it
makes me sick
15 Jean Is Dead (01:32)
Wake up early, mad at you
Got to school but where are you?
I should have known
But now you're gone
And I'm alone
Your mother told me
Last night on the phone
Now you're gone
Now I'm alone
I would have helped you
I would have done anything
I would have taken you with me
Or bought you a ring, but
Now you're gone and, I'm alone!
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Other reviews
By pretazzo
"Milo Goes To College wrote one of the most intense pages in the history of hardcore."
"‘Hope’ is an invitation to hold on, to patiently wait for the moment of redemption."
By MinorThreat
They brought a refreshing change to an environment previously dominated by aggression.
"Catalina" is the jewel of the album, a punk anthem that transcends the genre’s boundaries.
