Creed
Human Clay

THE REVIEW

There was a guy who every time he went to bed, he would look at the nightstand, where there was a photo of a singer from a very famous grunge band, to whom he dedicated a prayer and then sank into the pillow, assured that the latter would protect him from all evil..

Then one day he wondered: “I wonder what it would be like if I had a band too.. It would be cool, especially because I would have thousands of wild fans ready to tear their underwear for me, and I am also quite a handsome guy, a bit of a rogue, but still a good-looking guy”.

So, the bold young man gathered some of his friends, namely Mark Tremonti, guitarist/bassist, Scott Philips drummer, and for live performances, since Tremonti is humanly unable to play both instruments at the same time, not to mention the delicate task of getting Italy out of the economic crisis, Brian Marshall was hired on bass. In 1997 “My Own Prison” was released, immediately selling masses of records; one Vedder in the world wasn’t enough, and now there’s Scott Stapp too. The voice in the first album touches similar tones, so much so that at first listen, one might think of an alternative project by the Pearl Jam leader. But no..

In 1999 “Human Clay” was released, 11 million records sold, in the top 100 of all-time sales in the U.S.A., so it makes you think a bit:

1. Is it possible that a good portion of the American people is categorized as “not understanding a damn thing about music?”
   
   The answer is undoubtedly "yes"!


2. How the hell did Creed manage to sell so many copies of this “thing”?
   
   In America, they are many, millions upon millions.. And surely many must necessarily be beastly rednecks, so it all makes sense..


3. But was there really a need for a band like Creed and someone who sings like Eddie Vedder?
   
   Not really..


4. Last but not least question: when Creed broke up, perhaps because the others realized that Scott, aside from his voice and big head, didn't possess any other noteworthy attributes, the other three called one of the most talented singers (not in that sense, but who knows..) of recent times, a certain Myles Kennedy, and formed Alter Bridge. Well, in the first Alter Bridge album, even though it is typical American hard rock, it's done well, and they seem to have awakened from a long slumber and started to at least “play” properly: there are enjoyable and technically appreciable solos, riffs worthy of being called such, and drum parts that you definitely wouldn’t expect from a drummer like Philips… So they could play before? And why didn’t they ever do it?
   
   Well.. Unfathomable mysteries to which human reason will never find an answer.

Once you’ve asked yourself these four fundamental questions, put “Human Clay” in the player, and immediately notice that the voice no longer resembles the mentor’s, here it becomes more aggressive, less soft in the lows, but when the scream starts, one thing that immediately comes to mind is: “When I sit on the toilet and, during the delicate operation, hum something to ease the tension and maybe cover the unpleasant noises, what comes out sounds a lot like what I hear here in the high parts”.

Everything is built around Stapp's voice, the instruments are just a side dish, Tremonti is totally wasted, and Philips keeps time like it's his first year of drum lessons. Already from the first two tracks “Are You Ready” (NO! Turn it off!) and “What If” the urge to turn everything off and use this album as a wobbly table equalizer is strong, but you go on to discover if it's a funny bluff, hoping that the quality of the tracks will grow over time, “Beautiful” doesn’t help, we are always on the calm verse and aggressive chorus side, little guitars at the start, thick and distorted big guitars during, cadenced drums, almost nonexistent bass, bitonal voice.. A deadly boredom.

Let's go on, “Wrong Way” at least has a somewhat "peculiar" tempo, even if the hassle is always the same and the construction of the piece does not change.. “Faceless Man”, oh no damn, even here the intro with the arpeggiated guitar and clean voice, no? Are you taking the piss out of me? For God's sake, they are pleasant little songs, but deadly boring! Wait a moment, but is this a ballad, isn’t Scott shouting, oh no, I was wrong.. After six songs will there be something new? Absolutely not.. “Never Die”, same old story, but I am ready for the bomb, I read that “With Arms Wide Open” won a Grammy for best rock song and is the 92nd best video of all time.. And I wonder, after also seeing the video “But why?” Because there are violins? Because Tremonti finally inserts a solo? Because Stapp finally got over the diarrhea? Then the video is not that great.. And then I remember point 1.. And I can only reinforce the "Yes", this time capitalized..

That's enough, you can safely stop here, because you already know what you’ll find until the end, a record so lacking in ideas that "Tower" by Sukora, in the genius of paid silence, surpasses it by far..

Absolutely to be overlooked.

Question no. 5: But was there really a need for a review of “Human Clay” eh Cornell?

“But no.. Do you want to know why I did it?”

“Because it was missing and to deter you from buying it..”

Last question Cornell: But have Creed reunited and will they release another album?

Do you want the answer? “May God help and deliver us from that…”