380 km. This is the distance that separates me from a dream. Whether it's considered near or far doesn't matter, I covered it one day and it was unlike what I expected; I remained completely unconscious.

Galactic distances are akin to my relationship with this album. I've always been afraid to put it back on the player. It's the most worn out, scratched, greasy CD I own. It must mean something.

Those blood-red squares on the cover have carved into my soul, which soars every time I approach Melody of Certain Damaged Lemons. To me, this album represents the difference between infatuation and love. I listen to it as I did when I was a child, but now I've grown up. I listen and delude myself into understanding what it wants to convey.

It is a warning not to remain anchored to the past, to understand one's emotions, and to let oneself be overwhelmed by them. I don't take it lightly because I remember that since I was little, these melodies instilled strong anguish and awe. Like the fatal attraction of a moth to streetlights, I've always collided with this work, in an attempt to grasp hidden nuances, an essence.

And it's always a new discovery, because Kazu Makino's timbre is not only elusive, it's poisonous, it grates gracefully on mere mortals who have had the pleasure of listening to it at least once in their lives.

The mistakes made, hopefully in good faith, are uncovered when I put the CD on. How can such a small medium contain such greatness? The general mood that hovers is dark, as is the fate of those who dwell on their own footsteps. Many mental photographs succeed each other during the listening. Indeed, sanguine images, open wounds, scars that struggle to heal. Sometimes, on good days, I almost manage to visualize these images and I feel awe and pain.

It's no coincidence the first verse of the album goes like this:

Lying on my back, I heard music

Felt unsure and catastrophic

Had to tell myself it's only music

It blows my mind, but it's like that

It's no coincidence that the two most significant compositions (for me) are preceded by brief instrumental digressions, as if to take a deep breath. Then the descent into an abyss made of attraction and withdrawal, of deep misunderstandings between two people trying to love each other, to understand each other. It’s a call and response between Makino and Amedeo Pace, a frantic chasing by him trying to grasp the intimate mystery hidden in her.

You’ll be a freak

And I will keep you company

This is the last whisper of the album, yet another funeral march for the void that occurs between two people who care about each other but don't know love, or if you prefer, incommunicability.

Now I have the CD in my car, I won't budge it from there because it has become an integral part of the bodywork together with the holy card of Keith Moon. If one day someone asked me to put on something, I would know exactly what experience to make them go through: the stomach flip, the butterflies in the belly, the infatuation that precedes love and the awareness that it all hangs by a very thin thread. That of a spider waiting for a fellow, ready to inject a sweet poison.

Tracklist Lyrics and Videos

01   Equally Damaged (00:40)

02   In Particular (06:05)

Lying on my back, I heard music
Felt unsure and catastrophic
Had to tell myself it's only music
It blows my mind, but it's like that

Anyone there? What could you tell me?
Afraid of what? Would you ever know?
Everyone else is really boring
Anyone else wouldn't be good enough

Some place safe, I would imagine
Someone new would be so cruel
Incurable paranoiac, hysterical depression

X X X Alex I'm your only friend
X X X Alex your love will sing for you
(repeat)

Some place safe, I would imagine
Someone new would be so cruel
Incurable paranoiac, hysterical depression

X X X Alex
X X X Alex X X
X X X Alex
X X X Alex your love will sing for you

03   Melody of Certain Three (03:53)

Crawl, crawl as a child
Move like a man
Pushing like a father
Pulling like a friend
Whatever it takes forever it seems
But despite of all that all is well

Sexing like stone
Hot as the sand
Entering a life
Exiting with a man
Whatever it takes forever it seems
But despite of all that all is well

Sometimes i spin around for days
Skip and chase and say
Forget about tomorrow
Until i realize
This valid and logic motion
Is what keeps me from moving
I don't understand

Running running on tracks
With feet on the ground
It will only slow me down
And which way the wind blows
I run like a man ready to go anywhere

When i am so timid
You'll be my words
When i am most effective
You act like a stone
Whatever it takes forever it seems
But despite of all that all is well

04   Hated Because of Great Qualities (04:42)

Secret, so sorry, but I forgot
Secret, secret, we are bound to forget
I was worried I might be rude to you
So worried that I was
It's a lie to serve the truth
And I'm still guilty
Oh, I missed
So be it
Everywhere, everything you ever touch
Cutting it won't do it
There's nothing to it
You were sorry that I was alone
So sorry you ran away
Putting it on me, but you already knew it
Oh, it was never meant to be
So be it
I can't understand this at all
I can't pronounce this at all
These are different matters
These are uncertain feelings
These should never be discussed
So keep it to yourself
Oh, I missed
So be it
Everywhere, everything you ever touch
Cutting it won't do it
There's nothing to it
You were sorry that I was alone
So sorry you ran away
Putting it on my, but you already knew it
Oh it was never meant to be
So be it
I can't understand this at all
I can't pronounce this at all
These are different matters
These are uncertain feelings
These should never be discussed
So keep them to yourself

05   Loved Despite of Great Faults (04:12)

06   Ballad of Lemons (01:54)

07   This Is Not (04:50)

Once she loved a boy. But he did not love her.
His name was Jun. Disillusioned she tried to forget.
So she left everything & traveled to the other side of the world.
But life was like a dream.
A series of meaningless movement.

And then by chance she met you & your brother.
The moment she saw you.
She knew you were made for her.

You're never out of her thoughts. She sees only you.

If it was yesterday he'd felt free just like her
He could have been with her
But today can't be anymore
Tomorrow maybe yes. But today he is not there.

I heard someone say
That mind keeps wondering from desire to contempt
From contempt to desire
Never ever feeling bored. Cause we think we are free.
I think it's so pathetic. Don't you ?
Were you listening to me. No not even one word.

I heard someone say that mind keeps wondering
Life is like a dream. A series of meaningless movement.
I heard someone say
Let's go to the other world
Because we think we are free. A series of meaningful
Movement

La la la

08   A Cure (05:23)

Everybody knows he is a pleaser
Nothing else than just a teaser
Teaser of his own faint smile

Yes and how he’s so amusing
Smiling can be so consuming
And so strange to explain

Oh I know how I think I might
Have known of you somehow and
What your name was

Like any other man in many ways he’s not
Like life itself a mystery or two
Hey Mr. Pleaser would you smile for me

Yes and how many times he hasn't
Spoken just to please not to displease
Please her if you please

Oh I see how his life resembles
Yours and you somehow are like him.

I see I know I’ve been too good for you
you know he’s just like me
pleasing you and now all
you do is wish
I was more and more like him
if so would you consider keeping me
closer I know,

He turns his head and doesn't see you
but when he does he looks to greet you
how are you? Good luck!!

So now I call myself a pleaser
this time sitting on a secret
one secret everybody knows

Oh I see how
His life resembles yours
And you somehow are like him.

I see I know I’ve been too good for you
you know, you know that he is just like me
pleasing you and now and now
All you do is wish
I was more and more like him
if so would you consider keeping me
closer if so, you know if I was more and more like him
If so would you consider keeping me closer? I know,
I know if I was more and more like him. If so..

09   For the Damaged (03:02)

Maybe again
He will be alone
Guess we're equally damaged
Find your name
Do it all the same equally
Signal when you can't breathe no more

Say you were me
Then you could see the view
You'll know we are equally damaged
Don't be a fool, make it easier
You'll learn to say when
Signal if you can't say, "no more"

Don't cross your finger
Sundays will never change
They keep on coming
You'll be a freak
And I'll keep you company...

10   Mother (02:08)

You pay for that
You're wrong if you think it was a loan.
I'm on to you
You're fading out
You wrong if you think I'm alone
I will never fall

11   For the Damaged Coda (02:37)

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