I suppose nobody gives a damn, but this year I've overdosed on William "Bill" McGuire Bryson, reading at least half of his books, to be precise 7 starting with "The Lost Continent: Travels in Small Town America" from '89 to "The Road to Little Dribbling: More Notes from a Small Island" from 2015 and to be more precise between these two I also read "Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe" from '92, "A Walk in the Woods" from '98, "Notes from a Big Country" from '99, "In a Sunburned Country" from 2000, and "Shakespeare: The World as Stage" from 2007. All this is to say that among his travel books, the story of his adventures as a writer in Australia left a mark on me (on a geographic-humoristic level), of which I am about to spoil my experience on this page, with exclusively what I highlighted while reading it in Kindle format. Thus writes our Bryson:
1st spoiler: “Every cultural instinct and previous experience tells you that when you travel so far away you should find, at the very least, people on camels. There should be indecipherable letters on signs and dark-skinned men in robes intent on drinking coffee from cups as big as thimbles and puffing on their hookahs, and run-down buses and potholes in the road and a real possibility of illness in everything you touch..."
2nd spoiler: “then I took a notebook and pen, and after a minute's thought, I wrote: «Canberra, terribly boring place. Cold beer, though». I pondered for a few more moments and wrote: «Buy socks». I put the notebook down, but not far away"
3rd spoiler: referring to how public greenery and areas with and without vegetation are managed in the Australian continent better known as Oceania he writes “Unfortunately, as often happens in a world with a narrow view, no one asked for my opinion.”
4th spoiler: reading a book titled "The Australian Paradox" the account of a stay between '59 and '60 by journalist Jeanne MacKenzie notes among other things the following “Queensland was underdeveloped. (It still is!) Even in the best restaurants, Maryland chicken and beef Stroganoff were dishes of rare exoticism, and oysters were served with ketchup. For most people, foreign cuisine began and ended with canned spaghetti. Cheese existed in two varieties: «strong» and «flavorful».
5th spoiler: meeting in Melbourne at the home of Carmel Egan, wife of his journalist colleague Alan Howe known twenty years earlier in the newsroom of «The Times» in London “I was late because due to a small involuntary experiment, I was trying to figure out if it was possible to find an address in Melbourne consulting a map of Perth, but I finally got there. It was Carmel who greeted me. «Howie is out» she said, letting me in. «He’s out for a run.»
«For a run?» I replied, trying to hide my astonishment, but over the years I had learned how the idea of working out for Howe meant drinking while standing up.”
6th spoiler: at the reception of a hotel after having a poor night's stay, he found the concierge (who he didn't like at all because he seemed not to listen carefully to what Bryson was saying)...
“In the morning behind the reception desk was a new one. «Do you like staying here, sir?» he asked without even glancing at me.
«I find it singularly execrable» I replied.
«Oh, excellent» he whispered docilely, taking my document.
«In fact, I would dare say that the best part of staying in this building is that by comparison all subsequent hotel experiences seem refreshing.»
He assumed an appreciative expression, as if to say: «Thank you for the compliment», and handed me the bill to sign. «Well, we hope to see you again.»
«I'd rather go into a forest and have my intestines operated on with a stick.»
His expression flickered, then got stuck for a long moment. «Excellent» he said again, but without showing much conviction.”
Um, to make it short these are just 6 notes I highlighted while reading, but I can assure you that the hilarious moments are plentiful and as usual in his style, Bryson doesn't miss an opportunity to have a laugh at his or others' expense. (though reserving sad and rather serious reflections for the aborigines)
What to say to conclude except that this book remains an excellent read for those who know little (like me, just to name one...) about Australia and its inhabitants, whose ancestors mistreated the native people, confining them in ghettos and in many cases treating them as slaves without any dignity almost up to today and maybe still... and that's it.
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