Actarus
Ufo Robot

Hello Goldrake, quite a few stars have passed since then, right?

Those were different times, damn they were different times. I used to wander around with my dad’s five-hundred-lire pocket money and only ate hamburgers and fries, and lots of Cuccioloni and Lemonissimi, but for you, my hero, I would have at least tried mathematical salads if you'd just asked me. Of what damage, metal?

As we grew up, we lost touch. You see, you're in cartoons and have no idea, but when sex comes into play, you lose everything and break with the past. Basically, it means you've grown up.

Just to give you an idea, at 14, one summer afternoon, I dreamt that you, Venusia, and Alcor had a nice threesome while Doctor Procton was touching himself behind an electric panel. I woke up all sweaty.

I removed the playing card from the bike spokes, and when I pedal, I no longer say "Volante 1 calls Volante 2", especially if girls are around. It's always about this sex thing. Yes, so, there's a little seed that if you plant it right, the stork shows up under the cabbage, and a magical butterfly, but not everyone wants the stork to come, so some plant the seed without planting it and don't notify the stork, so the cabbage withers. Anyway, gardening experts have revealed the secret: just pull it out when you're about to plant it. It's a bit like cooking times. Did you get any of that? Good, neither did I, but for a while now, I like planting seeds secretly from storks and cabbages.

As for the rest, what can I tell you, quite a few things have changed, disco music has disappeared, and now they dance to trap. How can I explain it, you know when your stomach hurts, and you speak in telegraph mode? More or less like that, but the good thing is there's no need to sing, a specialized thing takes care of transforming your voice. Like if you and Alcor make a band, ZZ Top step aside.

Politics is a tragedy, once the country folks sold watermelon slices in Trastevere, now they've made it all the way to Parliament. You can make a career with melons.

But let’s say, not to pry, what if you came back today, you know, Vega, Gandall, and Hydargos have retired, there's a certain Geolier, Lazza, and Boomdabash who are as nasty as they are, so if you come back, you can have some fun cleaning up.

Lastly... I was going to tell you something and I forgot...

ah, there you go, it's been proven beyond any reasonable doubt that one Galileo was a bluffer. A friend of a friend of a cousin, don't ask me more, I was too precise, one day cycling in an unspecified place fell into the void suddenly. I would never want to be in the shoes of those who discover at their expense where the cliff begins.

Ah, Actarus, a curiosity I've wanted to know for a long time: why did you scream and hurt yourself when Goldrake got beaten up?