Yo La Tengo & Yoko Ono
live glastonbury 2014

HERE, the worst summer of my life came back to mind. 2014!

Or "5 seconds of summer" would be the more correct term. I mean, literally 5 fucking days of FULL sun (not "slightly cloudy", jeez), a June immersed in study (eeeh exams!), 85 days of madness.

Could it be worse than this?

Maybe a little band called "5 seconds of summer" that makes you feel even sadder with the world?

Or perhaps a nice dip in radioactive water?

Or the lost World Cup?

Or the CocaCola summer festival?

Or the suicide of Robin Williams?

Or the lack of scarce -furryteenstuff-?

This is just the backdrop, my friends. The true madness is named "Yoko Ono", AKA "yes, i'm a bitch".

The most bastard woman on planet Earth from the '60s to today. Cause of the breakup of the Fab Four and the addictions of John Lennon. But in the meantime, the over-eighty Japanese lady succeeded in her intent: getting lots of easy money without working in nuclear plants or being a yaoi cosplayer. These are the satisfactions of life...

BUT there's a limit to everything, even human folly, and the Japanese lady has managed to surpass it with the small help of Yo La Tengo who, after this blunder, will sell even less than before; I'm obviously talking about what's even considered "the worst performance ever": the 45-minute performance at the Glastonbury festival!

Unfortunately, it was removed from YouTube, but I, who had the fortune (or the misfortune, depending on the point of view) to enjoy it with some interested parties, can assure you that I wouldn't be here today if we hadn't paused that video every 5 minutes for too much laughter: what the hell had she smoked before taking the stage?

Even though the musical backing by Yo La Tengo presents nothing unusual, Yoko Ono's voice with her gurgles worthy of an....eighty-year-old (wow I would never have guessed!), her off-key screams, and the out-of-time voice manages to transport us once again into the magical and stoned hippie world! When drugs were synonymous with experimentation, psychedelia, and genius; but if we replace the LSD with throat lozenges, well.... this is the result. Add in the delirious audience that claps (I mean...claps!) just not to feel bad for having spent money on this "thing", and the stoned effect is perfect.

I hope miss Lennon stops singing and enjoys her money. And that she doesn't worsen further future summers.

HERE, I've vented!