Hello children and little whores, welcome to the only review that will make you become REAL ARTISTS, but hear, hear! We won't use scissors with rounded tips, we won't inject glue into our veins, but we'll click on our com-put-r the won(der)ful ultramegaprofessional program to draw di..uh, colorful drawings, very colorful indeed!
Did you click on PAINNT? Good, now follow my instructions care(lessly):
Okay, now let's make a nice painting! But first, ask your mom for permission (unless she's already dead) and then come back here!
So, let's start by drawing two round round little balls vertically;
Next, start connecting two parallel straight lines at the base of your mountains;
Finally, make the slightest curve on both sides and close your magnificent drawing.
Done?
So? Can we see the result?
Not bad, you could have done better but not bad!
But now let's move on to PHOTOMONTAGE!
To become an expert in photomontages you must use only and only PHAINT!
No, not that photoshop crap, we need realism, seeing with critical eyes. And you aim high, right?
Paint was proudly chosen by EXPO Milan 2015 for its advertisement. Do you want examples of rare abstract realism done with paint?
Notice the singer from Il volo being photographed by a flamenco dancer. Why? Because he won Sanscemo, right?
Notice the magnificent interiors, I would dare say very futuristic.
But you, dear average Italian, can do better. Show your ssskill!
...
Done?
Well well, let's see what you've created of your own volition...
What the fu...
Alright, you don't know how to use paint, this is very clear to me. I've failed, master Paniccia will punish me because of you, you horny brute.
What do you think, master Paniccia?
Wise words, your holiness...
This episode ends here, but don't despair, now I’ll get out of your hair. Bye bye!
p.s.-you suck at photomontages, go back to youporn and jerk off and don't sandpaper my nerves with bears, GABIDOH?
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