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Rating: Maybe I'm wrong...
Yes, I really have asked too many women to marry me: beautiful, ugly, thin, fat... even Juventus fans!
But that evening I had set my mind that I would ask Violante Placido to marry me.
Why? Guys, it's simple: Violante Placido is THE WOMAN. No offense to the users of debaser, my exes, my mom, but Violante's ancient beauty is incomparable.
Let me illustrate my meticulous plan.
I know the place well, and from where the "artists" exit the stage, there's a corridor of 5/6 up to 7 meters, and by positioning myself halfway down the narrow path, I should have time and space to make my ecclesiastical request for sharing a marital roof. The placid Venus keeps us waiting for quite some time, but around midnight... there she is... I see her!!! ...well, no, I see a group of big guys holding blue lasers to indicate the way for another group of big guys surrounding Violante.
So, eight people to protect her from me!!
Evidently, word about my proposal spread quickly, and it turns out I can no longer marry her...
...patsientsa...
The concert begins (I've never had so much difficulty writing the word concert, just as I've never felt so proud of the EBBI from 18 words ago) and "Together" leaves everyone open-mouthed... the song is really strong, nothing to object to, and well above the rosiest expectations... it will be the immediately following pieces (see the disaster of "So far") that bring her back to music's ground 0, and we're left dumbfounded hearing her strum one after the other: the big single "Still I", "Niente si muove" and "Poor little girl" played with the same chords!!!
I mean, I don't know if I make myself clear: I'm talking about a good 10 minutes of G-D-Am-C-G-D-Am-C-G-D-Am-C-G-D-Am-C-G-D-Am-C-G-D-Am-C... anyone would go insane... she deserves two stars (instead of 0) just for not fainting on stage...
At this point, the yawns increase, and the air becomes sluggish (it's easy to connect the two things), and what does Viola do??? She goes for the cover!!! And what a cover??? SERVE THE SERVANTS by Nirvana!!!
And I must say they don't do too bad, also because the song isn't difficult (she now just sings, she must have thought "What if this English band's song has a barre chord... I risk looking bad..."), but the hilarious thing is that during the guitarist's solo, the singer cheers for the wrong guitar!!
I swear she cheers the melodic thinking it was doing the solo when (obviously) it was the lead guitarist doing it!!!! Here I burst into tears of laughter...
And I thought...
Besides being beautiful (gorgeous, I add) and rich, she's also managing to be not very intelligent (in a good way), so she might just be a woman who minds her own business, doesn't nag, doesn't make absurd requests (if you're lucky, otherwise they are DEMANDS), doesn't want to go out at 3 PM on Sundays...
THE PERFECT WOMAN!!!
THEREFORE, VIOLANTE..
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
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