So, I am a blackster. Therefore, I must adhere to the Hundred Dark Rules of the Blackster. I have to repeat this phrase to myself at least 100 times a day. Which creates a big mess for me when, as the true Norwegian blackster that I am, I go to buy mortadella.
Here below is the latest dialogue between me and the butcher.
Mario the butcher: Hey, you studded ruffian, what do you need today?
ME: Two ounces of mortadella. I am a blackster, and I must adhere to the Hundred Dark Rules of the Blackster.
Mario the butcher: Are you kidding me?
ME: No, sir. Norsk Arysk Black Metal (generic phrase to use when you don't know what to say). I am a blackster and I must respect the Hundred Dark Rules of the Blackster.
Mario the butcher: Hey, what do you want? Who are you?
ME: I am a blackster and I must respect the Hundred Dark Rules of the Blackster.
Mario the butcher: ***#§§***@°###*!!!!
ME: True Norwegian Black Metal! Satanus. HuHuhUhUhU!
At that point, the uncivilized butcher takes a cleaver and attacks me violently. But he doesn't know. Ahahahahah! He doesn't know! I take my emergency makeup, do an impromptu face painting. I remember my supposed Norwegian origins, and, as my ancestors used to do to gain access to Valhalla, wielding the eyeliner, I pounce on my attacker. He breaks the eyeliner. I get angry because it was a Pupa eyeliner and I paid €5.80 for it. So, I take the string of sausages to my right and hang it around his neck. He pleads, he begs, but I hang it around him. So, he converts to black metal and we go see a Mayhem concert together. My neighborhood has already lost 4 butchers this way.
The essence of all this is that the mortadella must always be bought by mom.
Anyway, as I was saying, it's not just about repeating the phrase, but also about respecting the rules. I'm a blackster, and I have to follow the Hundred Dark Rules of the Blackster. (That's why I write the dark rules everywhere, otherwise I risk forgetting them. At my house, you can find them written on the wall, on the pillow, on the refrigerator, on post-its, on my sister's forehead.)
Today I went to buy an evil CD. I was feeling very evil. So I wanted something evil. And I saw the latest from Venom: Resurrection. Then I saw the one by DiabolicalBhemothBehlialsatanicInferorum& BestialLuciferian& GianniePinotto& SnowWhiteandtheSevenDwarfs& CglCislUil& HueyDeweyLouie& of the, to, at, in, with, for, between, among& horse and king. After a tough decision, I opted for Venom. I told myself I'll buy it, who cares, anyway according to rule 66:
66) Acquire thousands of black metal albums, demos, and bootlegs. Listen to approximately 8 of them. (I've already listened to 10)
And I bought it. I got home and put it in the pile. Then I dozed off inside my chipboard coffin (I couldn't get an oak one because the offer was over… damn it!). I woke up with an insane temptation... I wanted to listen to my new CD! SACRILEGEEEEEEEE! VIOLATION OF SACRED RULE 66!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… writing these lines is an indescribable pain for me… I listened to the CD… forgive me father, for I have sinned!
Anyway, Odin punished me for my mistake. Resurrection is an immense flop. A sort of St. Anger of Black Metal. No solos, fake growl, silly lyrics about alleged satanic wars, monsters, etc. The Venom said to themselves: why are the Blues so evil and have so much money, and we are so evil and broke? Let's become as evil as the Blues! And this is the result!
I am a blackster and I must respect the Hundred Dark Rules of the Blackster.

Tracklist and Lyrics

01   Resurrection (03:03)

02   Vengeance (03:51)

03   War Against Christ (04:23)

04   All There Is Fear (04:42)

Atomic atmospheres
Crumble in ice faces
Destructive tragedies
Humble thee at stages
Liquidate agitate
Time out for treasons
Maniac meglo-man
Explosive liasons

CHORUS:
Arise young souls alight
Reclaim your satanic rights
In time retrospect clear
The past all there is fear

Cataclysmic candidate
Surplus adaptations
Seismographicpsycho
Life and death remainders
Lunar landing confirming
Hollywood daydreamers
Pyramids myriad
Alien redeemers

Repeat chorus

Ferocious deities
Focusing destruction
Searching for Achilles
Warlords reproduction
Terminate transmutate
Visions of a future
Yesteryear Wasn't there
Only an illusion

Repeat Chorus

05   Pain (04:02)

06   Pandemonium (04:31)

07   Loaded (02:44)

08   Firelight (04:55)

09   Black Flame (of Satan) (04:32)

10   Control Freak (03:03)

11   Disbeliever (03:40)

12   Man Myth & Magic (03:49)

13   Thirteen (03:37)

Cross your heart and hope to die
You superstitious fool
Yours is not to question why
Yours is to obey the rules
Totally irrational
Fear bred for fear's sake
Your choice is unconditional
Fear decides the path you take

Mirror, mirror Tarot dealer
Seven years now shall believer
Punish my faith healer
Aces high - Devil's eye

THIRTEEN

Psyche - illogic lunacy
Deity or triple six
Read your bible say a prayer
And hide behind your crucifix
Walk beneath the golden stairs
Rape the holy trinity
Break a mirror if you dare
And damn you for infinity

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Seven years now shall I fall
Punish me for my beliefs
And let my cries come unto ye

THIRTEEN

14   Leviathan (04:30)

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Other reviews

By ThirdWorldChaos

 "Resurrection, in my opinion, was unlucky and misunderstood (or simply ignored) as there are no real weak points that cause scandal."

 "Give it another chance and reevaluate it, it deserves it."