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Rating: We are in 1991, and his excellency Edoardo Lodovico Van Halen opens the ninth album (F.u.c.k) with a drill; no, he's not building his son's bedroom, but, as usual, he's exploring the limits of what a six-string attached to an amp can withstand. "Poundcake" is one of those songs that hard rock should have never stopped producing: Sammy Hagar's voice comes in charged and adrenaline-filled as usual, the rest of the group has found a now-perfect sound blend, Eddie's furious strumming is well accompanied by his big brother's crazy rhythms, as can be noticed in the practically metal "Judgement Day."
"Spanked" is the typical arm-wrenching groove piece, a type that will find its sublimation in "Amsterdam," contained in the subsequent "Balance." With "Runaround" you start to feel like you're in the middle of a cycle path in Venice Beach while two classic blondes in skates and fluorescent swimsuits, who have just overtaken you, turn around to greet you with a flirtatious glance. The following "Pleasure Dome" leaves one bewildered, an almost meditative piece, I would dare say, the percussion intensifies, but the band seems to want to build something different from the usual abrupt riffs, straying from the tested patterns just enough to vary the atmosphere, only to plunge back aboard a convertible with the stereo blasting and your hair being tousled by master Eddie's solos, more or less supported by wah-wah as in "In 'N Out."
"Man On A Mission" builds a nice verse and a good bridge, but the chorus is cloying and terribly familiar, although the psychopathic "axe" wielder does everything to unsettle us. Almost the opposite "The Dream is over" where the "mutated" riff pleasantly recalls the historic "Ain't Talking About Love," while the chorus floats, strangely light, among choruses and falsettos. It's with track number 9 "Right Now" that the beauty arrives, Edward puts on his good suit, and like for grand occasions, he sits at the piano, pulling out a soundtrack melody that will remain in the group's history. With "316" Van Halen tries to make it up to his son Wolfgang for his lack of love for "do-it-yourself" by gifting him this pleasant classical acoustic piece, but it doesn't scream miracle.
"Top of the world" represents the peak, the climax that makes you jump from your seat to play the big riff without pick or guitar, the one that the old banal disengaged lovers of raucous, unruly rock 'n roll expect from a Van Halen album, so I highly recommend this album to the aforementioned rolling stone offspring, not considering it particularly significant within the group's overall discography, but still it maintains a good level for those who love indulging in some healthy rock.
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
01 Poundcake (05:21)
Ahh, yeah
Yeah, she's gotta have soul
Or it won't feel right
We'll just play, clean and simple
Wrapped up, nice and tight
In a home grown and down home
That makes a woman
Cookin' up that old time, long lost recipe, for me
It's gettin' hard to find
Guess it ain't hip enough now
You take an average guy
Who can't identify
And there's a short supply
Ooh, of the fine, fine stuff
Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on some of that
Shake it up, pick it out nice
Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on outta there
I still love my baby's poundcake
Home grown and down home
Yeah, that's the woman
Still cookin' up an old time, long lost recipe
Lemme get on some of that
Uh ha, uh ha, ho
Uh ha, uh ha, ho
I want some of that
Uh ha, uh ha, ho
Gimme some of that
Uh ha, uh ha, ha
Oh, got some real fine poundcake
I've been out there
Tried a little bit of everything
But it's all sex without love
I found the real thing is poundcake
Home grown and down home
Yeah, that's the woman
Still cookin' with that old time, long lost recipe, yeah, woo
She's down home and down home
Ohh, that's my woman
Gimme some of that
Uh ha, uh ha, ho
Uh ha, uh ha, ho
Lemme hold that
Uh ha, uh ha, ho, uh!
Uh ha, uh ha ho, yeah
Home grown and down home, woo
C'mon, baby
Gimme some of that
Gimme some of that
Home grown, way down home, yeah
Uh ha, uh ha, ho, yeah
Gimme some of that, woo
C'mon baby
03 Spanked (04:52)
Uh!
Hey!
I'm all feet up, watchin' TV
Someplace to feast my eyes, oh
Well, I've always tripped on commercials, yeah yeah
This one blew my mind, oh, uh, hey!
(Ooh) Tell me, who ya gonna call when you need that affection?
(Ooh) Ya got to have it quick (Got to have it quick)
(Ooh) Well just a-hang your love line in her direction. Whoa
All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh!
Yeah! All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh
Whoa! Oh!
Three dollars, first minute (gosh, man!) After that, cost ya four
And she be up for negotiations, mmm hmmm
If you call back for more, oh oh oh ah!
(Ooh) Now who ya gonna call when you need that special
(Special) Little somethin'? Mmm
(Ooh) You can say what you like. It's all confidential. Whoa!
All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Huh!
All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Whoa!
(Guitar Solo)
Hey!
All you bad, bad boys
Make a mind blow!
All you bad, bad boys
Dial 1-900-SPANKED!
All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh! Hey!
All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh!
All you bad, bad boys. Yeah, it's a spank line
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
All you bad (woo!) bad boys. Just, call her up. Ha! Call her up
1-900-SPANKED! (All you bad, bad boys)
1-900-SPANKED! You bad bad bad boys. Just call her up
(All you bad, bad boys)
It's a spank line. Yeah! oh! Ow
1-900-SPANKED
All you bad bad bad...
04 Runaround (04:21)
Oh-oh! Mmm-hmm!
Ow!
That's right
She don't like it when it's cut n' dry
And don't like me makin' future plans
And don't want me tryin' to pin her down
She ain't about to give an inch of ground, no!
Woo!
Well, she can take me for a little ride
Just as long as she drive me home
Around the block, maybe once or twice
And then some lovin'. Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah!
I won't, but I want it
Oh, what a fool believes
I got her in my sight, but just outta reach. Oh-oh!
Here we go around (Round round round)
Run, run, runaround, yeah (Round round round round)
Here we go around (Round round round)
She givin' me the runaround, yeah. Ow! (Round round round round)
Uh! A-just enough to keep me hangin' on
She knows exactly what I need
And right down to the nick o' time
I'm chasin' love down a fine, fine line. Ow!
I won't, but I want it
Oh, what a fool believes
I got her in my sight, but just outta reach. Whoa!
Here we go around (Round round round)
Run, run, runaround, yeah (Round round round round)
here we go around (Round round round)
She givin' me the runaround (Round round round round)
uh! Oh-ow!
(Guitar Solo)
Yeah-hey yeah!
Oh yeah
Ooh. Ah. It goes like this
Listen baby. Ssss, ooh, ow, ah, uh
Oh man, it's hard enough, yeah
And you make it harder
Ah, fill me up, I'm never satisfied
Own me. She owns it.
Here we go around (Round round round)
Run, run, runaround, yeah (Round round round round)
Here we go around (Round round round)
She givin' me the runaround (Round round round round)
Here we go around (Round round round)
Run, run, runaround (Round round round round)
Here we go around (Round round round)
She givin' me the runaround (Round round round round)
Nooo!
Round and around
Oh, I like it
Uh, I like it
Yeah! But I like it
Baby, say I like it
Uh! I said I like it
Ooh! I like it
09 Right Now (05:21)
Don't wanna wait 'til tomorrow
Why put it off another day?
One by one, little problems
Build up, and stand in our way, oh!
One step ahead, one step behind it
Now you gotta run to get even
Make future plans I'll dream about yesterday, hey!
Come on turn, turn this thing around
(Right now)
Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now)
Come on, it's everything
(Right now)
Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything
Miss a beat, you lose the rhythm
And nothin' falls into place, aah
Only missed by a fraction
Slipped a little off your pace, oh!
The more things you get, the more you want
Just trade in one for another
Workin' so hard to make it easy
Whoa, got to turn, come on, turn this thing around
(Right now)
Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now)
Come on, it's everything
(Right now)
Catch that magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything
It's enlightened me
Right now
What are you waitin' for?
Ohh, yeah
Right now
(Right now)
Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now)
Come on, it's everything
(Right now)
Catch that magic moment
And do it right
(Right now)
Ohh, right now
It's what's happening
Right here and now
Right now, it's right now
Ohh
Tell me, what are you waitin' for?
Turn this thing around
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