Ugo Fabrizio Giordani
Troppo belli

This is my first review on debaser, I hope you like it and if so, I am willing to write one on request about the most important moments of your life: incest, sodomy, baptism, marriage, crudités.

In Italy, it is 2005 and everything suggests that the same year is running in the rest of the world as well.

Italian cinemas, as always, are full of couples engaged in free kissing, mutual masturbation, and oral sex (only two years later Il Corriere della Sera would report the grave news that such a practice can cause cancer).

The state of Italian cinema is disheartening, but there are those who glimpse a light, a pity that upon a closer look reveals itself to be only a man with a lighter in hand looking for the exit or the bathroom or the bathroom exit.

In all three cases though, we are dealing with someone who has seen "Troppo Belli" the film with Costano Wl'itagliano and Dante Interrante, directed by Ugo Fabrizio Giordani, who was already a pupil, disciple, and concubine of the great Master Bruno LiegiBastonLiegi.

I couldn't watch the film for obvious reasons that I hope are clear to you, but the plot MUST be more or less this:

Aniello and Crostatino, during one of their sexual encounters, run out of the vaseline they had used to grease their hair. They will try to make do with mayonnaise, but the result won't be the same and their relationship will inevitably be compromised after going through many vicissitudes together without knowing the meaning of the word vicissitudes.

Amidst all this, the usual scenes from an Italian movie: a hot model who gives it, doesn't give it but will give it to a handsome rich guy who is what Lapo Elkann would be if he didn't go with transvestites and didn't snort more cocaine than his decrepit old grandfather sold; a married couple who then divorce and the lawyer no don’t call him oh yes call him but don’t let him tell you that I slept with him otherwise you would feel bad.

But don’t take the kids away from me, they are mine not yours but only mine actually yours because they are little rascals (epic is the scene in which the children are stretched like a rope and their limbs are torn, a scene that a pulp director would then reprise thirty years later).

Other key scenes: frowning commissioner, Southern policeman, and actor who isn’t funny, gay terribly gay, setting in Piazza di Spagna or Via Montenapoleone, shopping with brands in plain sight.

And in the end, the viewers always meet the same fate as Costanzino and Anello: they get screwed.