Ufomammut
Snailking

As someone I know would say "Noooooooooo, cheeeeezzo, perchè l'hai fatto?" Yes, of this I'm convinced. Aiuanachenau, I was there too.

What I just said has nothing to do with the album in question (I mean, with the album I don't know, with them... boh), I just felt like saying it. Seems senseless, right? No, senseless is giving a 1/5 to a Superjoint Ritual album if the one rating is someone who only listened to Pantera without knowing Sludge and Hardcore, believing that since Philip sings, it's pure Thrash Metal. Hearing someone who listens to down-tempo and minimal electronics say "Minchia, che schifo" about a Bongzilla or Iron Monkey album, oh, that is pure nonsense. The worst part is the world is full of people like that.

Equally senseless is spitting on the supreme masterpiece, because this album isn't called "Snailking," it goes by "Supreme" as a first name and "Masterpiece" as a last name. Here, no distinctions are made whether you're a poser, Deathster, jazzer, hip-hopper, metaller, powerer, prog-rocker or stoner, here if you offend, you're a fool regardless.
The value of this CD skyrocketed when I found out it was sold out, meaning the copies were gone. A band named Ufomammut sells out the run of CDs!!! Where's that written? The funny thing is I didn't even have one. I started to worry a lot. Do you know how hard I worked to get this album? Do you have any idea how many times my ass was broken by fat, hairy Doomsters on various substances?
To illustrate the difficulty of finding it, I could tell you about when I tried to steal it from JohnManoLenta (who has little of Clapton, believe me), sneaking in at night through the laundry window, only to find it was also a bathroom and I found his father unloading the IVA and he hit me with a copy of Metal Hammer.
Or trying to snatch it from an old lady in my town (all the over-sixties of the place keep a copy of this and "GodLikeSnake" in their rooms under the young Padre Pio saint image when he still played with Cathedral). No, I couldn't, they shoot on sight at those over 1.80 meters here. Then I thought, the extreme and alternative solution. Ask Carlo caaaaaazzoooo!!! Carlo has everything, he even brings out anything, he has the coolest record store in Veneto, I know him, why not ask? So I arrive at his place, desperate, limping and slightly hammered, I ask in tears: "Carlèèèè, aiutame teeeeee"! And he, being the good savior (even if his name's Carlo, you know): "E' fuori catalogo, ma te lo trovo lo stesso" eyeing my backside with appetite. "E vabbè, uno più, uno meno che differenza vuoi che faccia"? I found out the difference later in the closet, a difference 27 cm long, damn it. But in this world of gays, you need to earn respect, and the game was worth the candle.
And so it was that after a month I returned to him, and having collected the supreme masterpiece, I looked him in the eyes and said: "Adesso il mio culo è anche un pò tuo". Yes indeed, but in this story there is no moral, only raw reality. But there are also the Ufomammut, not the Alabama Thunderpussy.
All this is beautiful, almost as much as Lee Dorrian (the most handsome doomster in the world).

That said, another doubt arises, that is "Why are there so few handsome doomsters"? That is as far as the cat goes for bacon then it hatches, since it's the...
What do I know, someone like George Clooney would be with Jus Oborn (God) next to Leif Eidling or Stephen O'Malley, I mean I can see him well both with the classic and the Drone. Damn George, you have the perfect face and you waste time making millions with movies and naked women, blessed youth... And I, rereading this stuff I've written, smack my hands and say "idiot, I shouldn't have ever touched that rubbish again, uff..."

I'm Your God, The Snailking... addiction, acid doom, psychedelia, acid doom, acid doom, psychedelia, cool effects, acid doom, the best Italian band I've ever heard damn it...