Toxic Holocaust
Conjure and Command

On one of these scorching late summer afternoons, after a sleepless night due to the relentless humidity and yet another punishing morning at work, I collapsed on the couch a second after devouring the last piece of a delicious and bold potato and onion omelette.

To aid my drift into Morpheus' arms, my iPod is shuffling through various deliberately soothing songs, but a trap lurks around the corner. Immersed in the dreamlike tranquility of post-rock and ambient, there’s also a new track by Toxic Holocaust which, once it starts, induces a mystical vision: Tom Angelripper appears to me, disgusted, warning me about the latest platter from Joel Grind and company, who are intent on releasing an avant-garde progressive/thrash metal album featuring sophisticated Scottish bagpipe parts. Forget potato and onion omelettes! Thus, while my exhausted brain seems to care little about the musical mutation the Americans may have undertaken, here’s the chorus to hum under the shower from ''Bitch'': [Tie her up Start the Fire/Burning in torment alive/For her crimes, For her sins/The bitch will be burned at the stake].

I wake up with a start, sweating profusely, thinking my (future?) mother-in-law might have buzzed the intercom. Fortunately, that’s not the case: it’s just a conditioned reflex. But, goodbye afternoon nap. At this moment, my greatest desire (after the usual little visit to the national debauchery) is to discover, once and for all, what this damned fourth work by the Oregon junkies sounds like, because Freud, honestly, has always rubbed me the wrong way.

I discovered them with their debut ''Evil Never Dies'' and got reasonably hooked even after that. Not because they were extraordinarily talented; simply because they possess an attitude, sounds, and a level of crudeness that invariably make the heart of an 80s thrash lover like me leap. Short, decisive, no-frills, caustic, exceedingly uninformed pieces beefed up by those breaks, those rhythms... all textbook stuff. For years, the fans of Venom, Slayer, Nuclear Assault, and the German Triad have been sincerely grateful.

But now, in this season of maneuvers and corrections, arrives ''Conjure and Command''. And Toxic Holocaust seems to have decided to change style, Uncle Tom told me so in a dream. 

I search online. The first impact is the cover: instead of the usual radiant colors, black and white tint: <<Holy Mackerel! So predictive dreams do exist!>> - I think, amazed - <<Probably the sounds have softened. Easily, the tracks will prove more embellished, longer, and more intricate. It’s conceivable that the production has become diamond-like and favors the melody of the guitars instead of focusing solely on overwhelming the listener's ears. Joel Grind might even delight in pentatonic scales worthy of the best shredder (well, let's not exaggerate now)... Here, I found it. Let me listen, go>>.

The overflowing two minutes of the opening, slayer-esque ''Judgment Awaits You'' greet me in the most conservative manner possible. Half an hour later (finally someone understands that reduced duration for this genre is a boon) every suspicion is quelled: evolution certainly doesn't pass through here and, between us, that’s for the best. Here come the furious riffs, tight rhythms, and hooligan choruses again. Here’s the aggressive drums, Grind's raw, bone-crushing voice nestled in a raw and substantial production (Relapse). In short, welcome back, Toxic Holocaust. The same as always.

There's ''I'm Disease'' which injects a bit of healthy black spirit, and there's ''Bitch'' and ''Revelations'' which ooze punk from every pore. But, in reality, these are just seasonings for what is a top-to-bottom thrash metal album (''Nowhere to Run'' and ''Red Winter'' are true killer songs), complete with deadly stop & go rhythms that will surely unleash the wildest headbanging live (by the way, they are in Treviso with Kvelertak on December 2). 

To quote Remarque: nothing new on the western front. ''Conjure and Command'' is not an unmissable work, nor will Toxic Holocaust (most likely) ever compose anything of the sort. For those looking for metal with bagpipes, there are always the folk bands, and you're welcome to them; for those who, on the contrary, will never tire of kick-ass, raw, sincere, and nostalgic thrash, they will find themselves well served with this album.

Bread to clearly accompany a mega-omelette of potatoes and onions.