Ah-haaaa! Finally! They say music critics are failed strummers.

Well, it's true: do you think I'd be here listening and reviewing these psychomotor difficulties for DeBaser if I were able to command the music I listen to: "Get up and walk"?

But this magic box will allow me to create an album not of simple rock, but of new rock. It's the Magic Box of the "New DIY All-Inclusive Rock Just Add Naivete," and it's an American invention. "As seen on (M)TV under the name of Lambchop, Tortoise, Cul de sac, etc.," says the label.

Ingredients:
Eno
: two kilos (it doesn't matter where you cut it, you have to grind it anyway). Canterbury School (Robert Wyatt, Kevin Ayers): two pages from the Little Red Book. Can: a can. Secret ingredient: Terry Riley. "Don't worry, repetition is now accepted by the public," the instructions say "And if you don't believe it, turn on the radio: a few minutes will convince you." But...what about the guitars? Rock is mainly guitars, right?
"With caution: the guitar is an instrument too sensitive to the regurgitation of already assumed elements. Too many, moreover, are using it creatively: Main (Robert Hampson), E.A.R., Labradford, even contemporary classics like Glenn Branca use this instrument. So, don't expose yourself too much. A marimba ((C) Jack White, 2005) might be more suitable for you."
All that's missing now is some tempo variation. And a dash of Mike Oldfield, which goes well with everything. A touch of Soft Machine here, a hint of Gong there, a voiceover to satisfy the environmentalists...

"Be idiosyncratic yet melodic: experimentation at any cost is so out of fashion..."
I continue to follow the instructions: "Keep calm and a slow pace throughout. The new rock has nothing to prove to anyone:
(1) not how hard you have it (so no Valkyrie rides: use the rhythm section for its chromatic value and not to propel the music, as you won't be going anywhere!),
(2) nor how authentic (hence avoid the singer: the social relevance of the lyrics belongs to the generations of Young and Springsteen), and
(3) not even how fragrant (in fact, the more artificial aromas you add, the more distortions and foreign noises you use, the newer your new rock will appear!).

If the old rock wore cowboy boots, the new rock wears slippers or at most a pair of diving fins, and has exchanged the gun for a camera. The revolution these days is made in slippers.
"In a versatile studio mix the ingredients with a bit of improvisation, relax, and let it rise." "Djed", the first track of the second Tortoise album attached here, is just one of the possible mutations. Following the guidelines we provide, you can't fail."

There is also the guarantee:
"If the resulting minimal interludes do not improve upon the already sufficient level you heard in "Million Now Living Will Never Die",
1) you have reversed the order of rock-dub-trip hop-techno, or
2) you are European and have been doing new rock for five years. Tana!"

Tracklist and Videos

01   Djed (20:57)

02   Glass Museum (05:28)

03   A Survey (02:52)

04   The Taut and Tame (05:02)

05   Dear Grandma and Grandpa (02:49)

06   Along the Banks of Rivers (05:53)

07   Gamera (11:55)

08   Goriri (06:39)

09   Restless Waters (03:41)

Loading comments  slowly

Other reviews

By philosopho

 "Millions Now Living Will Never Die is truly a piece of art!"

 "The long opening suite, 'Djed,' creates a mix of authentic minimalism and throws the listener into disarray."


By hypnosphere boy

 The Tortoise don’t play songs, they paint pictures, now soft and calm... now livelier and more rhythmic.

 A changing, enveloping, infinite sound, immersed in the future, with the irreplaceable scent of the past.


By Deviljin

 The only merit of 'Millions Now Living Will Never Die' is its exceptional attention to sound quality, but if substance is lacking, even the best production in the world will still result in a mediocre level.

 You won’t find anything truly innovative in this work, but since it’s heavy and difficult to listen to... critics get excited and shout masterpiece.