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Rating: This album came back to my mind just yesterday when my friend Fosca called me saying, “I was listening to Playboy Mommy and thought of you!”
I took it from the shelf where it had been buried for a long time because it is a painful album linked to a painful memory, but it is also one of my favorite works by Tori Amos, which played in my player for a very long time and which I often thought about reviewing.
I love Tori Amos because she is one of those artists who has made her art her therapy, her way to soothe wounds, to express her complexity and her contrasts.
Tori Amos is a woman who comes from an extremely religious and strict family; the rebellion against imposed schemes and values makes up the very essence of the sin itself. Anyone who has seen her concert, even just on video, can clearly perceive it from her practically physical and visceral connection with the piano and the sensuality and mischief that emanate from her every fiber and every look.
“From the Choirgirl Hotel” is her fourth album; in her previous ones, she had already exorcised almost all her fears, in her complex lyrics she had already clearly explained what she thinks of herself and what she thinks of men. But there is an event before this album that shook her right at the peak of her success, an event as unforeseen as it was painful, perhaps one of the most painful for a woman, namely the loss of the child she was expecting.
This is “From the Choirgirl Hotel”, the re-elaboration of that same pain, of those emotions, and that suffering. What one will find inside is already understood from the beautiful cover in which Tori seems trapped in a glass urn. The album is extremely complex and articulated. The piano, which characterized albums like “Boys for Pele” so much, is here somewhat in the background to leave more space for electronics and percussion. However, the real charm of this album lies in the lyrics that are sharp as pieces of glass.
“Spark” opens the album and appears like a tender ballad, but the text is full of guilt "She was convinced she could hold back a glacier\ But she couldn’t keep the baby alive\ Wondering if there's a woman here at all\.
The sense of guilt joins with the sense of powerlessness toward her very essence in “Playboy Mommy” where she says "I never was the fantasy of what you want\ You wanted me to be\ Don’t judge me so harsh, little girl, you’ve got a playboy mommy...".
In each track, there's a piece of herself, and the final result is a sort of confession, both in the calm and electronic “Liquid Diamonds” and in the elegant “Pandora’s Aquarium,” highlighted by the piano played in a strong and energetic way, almost to engrave every word and concept. There's also a bit of disdain for the much-hated/loved men in “Black Dove,” “Cruel,” or in “Hotel” itself, where she says, “You were wild, where are you now?\ Give me more, give me more, give me more\ I’ve got to learn to let you fall..."
Perhaps by writing this review, I have exorcised a bit of the suffering linked to this album myself.
Tracklist Lyrics and Videos
01 Spark (04:13)
She's addicted to nicotine patches
She's addicted to nicotine patches
She's afraid of a light in the dark
6:58 are you sure where my spark is
Here, here, here
She's convinced she could hold back a glacier
But she couldn't keep baby alive
Doubting if there's a woman in there somewhere
Here, here, here
You say you don't want it again and again
But you don't really mean it
You say you don't want it
This circus we're in but you don't
You don't really mean it
If the divine master plan is perfection
Maybe next I'll give Judas a try
Trusting my soul to the ice cream assassin
Here you say you don't want it again and again
But you don't, you don't really mean it
You say you don't want it
This circus we're in but you don't
You don't really mean it, you don't really mean it
How many fates turn around in the overtime?
Ballerinas that have fins that you'll never find?
You thought that you were the bomb
Yes, well so did I
Say you don't want it, say you don't want it
Again and again but you don't really mean it
Say you don't want it
This circus we're in but you don't
You don't really mean it
You don't really mean it
She's addicted to nicotine patches
She's afraid of a light in the dark
6:58 are you sure where my spark is-here
02 Cruel (04:07)
So don't give me respect, don't give me a piece of your preciousness
Flaunt all she's got in our old neighborhood I'm sure she'll make a few friends
Even the rain bows down let us pray as you cock-cock-cock your mane
No cigarettes only peeled havanas for you
I can be cruel
I don't know why
Why can't my ba.ll.oo.n stay up in a perfectly windy sky
I can be cruel I don't know why
I don't know why
Dance with the Sufis celebrate your top ten in the charts of pain
Lover brother bogenvillia my vine twists around your need
Even the rain is sharp like today as you sh-sh-shock me sane
No cigarettes only peeled havanas for you
I can be cruel
I don't know why
Why can't my ba.ll.oo.n stay up in a perfectly windy sky
I can be cruel I don't know why
I don't know why
I can be cruel
I don't know why
Why can't my ba.ll.oo.n stay up in a perfectly windy sky
I can be cruel I don't know why
I don't know why, why, why
04 Raspberry Swirl (03:58)
Let's go
I am not your señorita
I am not from your tribe
In the garden, in the garden
I did no crime
I am not your señorita
I am not from your tribe
If you want inside her well,
Boy you better maker her raspberry swirl
Things are getting desperate
When all the boys can't be men
Everybody knows
I'm her friend
Everybody knows
I'm her man
Things are getting desperate
When all the boys can't be men
Everybody knows
I'm her friend
Everybody knows
I'm her man
Let's go
I am not your señorita
I don't aim so high
In the garden, in the garden
I did no crime
If you want inside her, well
Boy you better make her raspberry swirl
Raspberry swirl, let's go, raspberry swirl
Things are getting desperate
When all the boys can't be men
Everybody knows
I'm her friend
Everybody knows
I'm her man
Things are getting desperate
When all the boys can't be men
Everybody knows
I'm her friend
Everybody knows
I'm her man
Things are getting desperate
When all the boys can't be men
Everybody knows
I'm her friend
Everybody knows
I'm her man
Raspberry swirl
And she swirls, and she swirls
And she swirls again
05 Jackie's Strength (04:26)
A Bouvier till her wedding day
Shots rang out the police came
Mama layed me on the front lawn
And prayed for Jackie's strength
Feeling old by 21
Never thought my day would come
My bridesmaids getting laid
I pray for Jackie's strength
Make me laugh
Say you know what you want
You said we were the real thing
So I show you some more
And I learn
What black magic can do
Make me laugh
Say you know you can turn
Me into the real thing
So I show you some more and I learn
Stickers licked on lunch boxes
Worshipping David Cassidy
Yeah I mooned him once on Donna's box
She's still in recovery
Sleepovers Beene's got some pot
You're only popular with anorexia
So I turn myself inside out
In hope someone will see
Make me laugh
Say you know what you want
You said we were the real thing
So I show you some more
And I learn
What black magic can do
Make me laugh
Say you know you can turn
Me into the real thing
So I show you some more and I learn
I got lost on my wedding day
Typical the police came
But virgins always get backstage
No matter what they've got so say
If you love enough you'll lie a lot
Guess they did in Camelot
Mama's waiting on my front lawn
I pray I pray I say I pray
For Jackie's strength
07 Liquid Diamonds (06:21)
Surrender then start your engines
You'll know quite soon what my mistake was
For those on horseback and dogsled
You turn on at the bend in the road
I hear she still grants forgiveness
Although I willingly forgot her
The offering is molasses
And you say
I guess I'm an underwater thing
So I guess I can't take it personally
I guess I'm an underwater thing
I'm liquid running
There's a sea secret in me
It's plain to see that it is rising
But I must be flowing
Liquid diamonds
Calling for my soul
From the corners of the world
I know she's playing poker
With the rest of the stragglers
Calling for my soul
From the corners of the world
I know she's playing poker
With the rest, the rest
And if your friends don't come back to you
And you know this is madness
A lilac mess in your prom dress
And you say
I guess I'm an underwater thing
So I guess I can't take it personally
I guess I'm an underwater thing
I'm liquid running
There's a sea secret in me
It's plain to see that it is rising
But I must be flowing
Liquid diamonds
I call I go inside a shell
I see it's old and your doing oh so well these days
You do it again and I say it's coming back again
Something like that
Saturday, such was it
Can he bring me those dreams
Keep it back it is done
Reaching back into himself
Keep it just between us
Liquid
08 She's Your Cocaine (03:42)
She's your cocaine
She's got you shaving your legs
You can suck anything
But you know you wanna be me
Put on your makeup, boy
You're your favourite stranger
And we all like to watch
So shimmy once and do it again
Bring your sister if you can't handle it
She says you control it
Then she says you don't control it
Then she says you're controlling
The way she makes you crawl
She's your cocaine - your exodus laughing
And she knows what you are
So shimmy once and do it again
Bring your sister
Bring your sister if you can't handle it
If you want me to
Boy, I could lie to you
You don't need one of these to let me inside of you
And is it true that devils end up like you
Do something safe for the picture frame
And is it true that devils end up like you
So tied up you don't know how she came
She's your cocaine
She's got you shaving your legs
She got you liking mine back
Got me taking it in
Getting mine back
Lasting mine evil
I'm taking my easel
And I'm writing good checks
You sign Prince of Darkness
Try squire of dimness
Please don't help me with this
09 Northern Lad (04:19)
Had a northern lad
Well not exactly had
He moved like the sunset
God who painted that?
First he loved my accent
How his knees could bend
I thought we'd be ok
Me and my molasses
But I feel something is wrong
But I
I feel this cake just isn't done
Don't say that you don't
Chours:
And if you
Could see me now
Said if you
Could see me now
Girls you've got to know
When it's time to turn the page
When you're only wet
Because of the rain
Because of
You don't show much these days
It gets so fucking cold
I loved his secret places
But I can't go anymore
You change like sugar cane
Says my northern lad
Well, I guess you go too far
When pianos try to be guitars
I feel the west in you
And I
I feel it falling apart too
Don't say that you don't
Chours
10 Hotel (05:19)
Met 'em in a hotel
Met 'em in a hotel
Beneath ground
Tell me that he's missing
Tell me this is one for
Lollipop Gestapo
You were wild
Where are you now
You were wild
Where are you now
Give me more
Give me more
Give me more
I have to learn to let you crash down
I have to learn to let you crash down
I have to learn to let you crash
Met 'em in a hotel
Met 'em in a hotel
You say he's the biggest thing
There'll be this year
I guess that what I'm seeking
I guess that what I'm seeking
Isn't here
Met him in a hotel
Met him in a guess world
Guessed anyone but you
You were wild
Where are you now
You were wild
Where are you now
Give me more
Give me more
Give me more
I have to learn to let you crash down
Where are the velvets
Where are the velvets
Where are the velvets
When you're coming down
H o t e l
You were wild
Where are you now
You were wild
Where are you now
King Solomon's Mines
Exit 75
I'm still alive
I'm still alive
I'm still alive
11 Playboy Mommy (04:08)
In my platforms I hit the floor
Fell face down
Didn't help my brain out
Then the baby came
Before I found
The magic how to keep her happy
I never was the fantasy
Of what you want, wanted me to be
But don't judge me so harsh, little girl
So you've got a playboy mommy
And when you tell em my name
And wanna cross that bridge all on your own
Little girl, they'll do you no harm
Because they know your playboy mommy
And when you tell em my name
From here to Birmingham
I've got a few friends
I never was, was there when it counts
I get my way
You're so like me
You seemed ashamed
Ashamed that I was
A good friend of American soldiers
I'll say it now, here by your grave
Those angels can't ever take my place
But dont judge me so hard, little girl
So you've got a playboy mommy
And when you tell em my name
And wanna cross that bridge all on your own
Little girl, they'll do you no harm
Because they know your playboy mommy
And when you tell em my name
From here to Birmingham
I've got a few friends
12 Pandora's Aquarium (04:45)
Pandora
Pandora's aquarium
She dives for shells
With her nautical nuns
And thoughts you thought
You'd never tell
I am not asking you to believe in me
Boy, I think you're confused
I'm not Persephone
Foam can be dangerous
With tape across my mouth
These things you do
I never asked you how
Line me up in single file
With all your grievances
Stare but I can taste
You're still alive
Below the waste
Ripples come and ripples go
And ripple back to me
Pandora
Pandora's aquarium
She dives for shells
With her nautical nuns
And thoughts you thought
You'd never tell
Line me up in single file
With all your grievances
Stare but I can taste
You're still alive below the waste
Ripples come and ripples go
And ripple back to me
I am not asking you to believe in me
Boy, I think you're confused
I'm not Persephone
She's in New York somewhere
Checking her accounts
The lord of the flies was diagnosed as sound
Pandora
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