Too Strong To Be Pronk?
Once A Pronk Always A Pronk

ACT I: TO THE ROOTS OF PRONK

Surely, the birth of Pronk this week was a sensational event (but also 6000 years ago and also in 3699 B.C.). But what is Pronk? Well, it started as a progressive-punk project and soon (perhaps even before that) turned into an all-nothing, something almost mystical; you don't see it but the effects it causes are enough to prove its existence. It is worth highlighting how all normal artists considered (more or less rightly) as geniuses inherit, some more, some even more, the distinctive traits of Pronk, though obviously not managing to be magnificently Pronk. As someone said, after all, Pronk has one best artist (the TSTBP) and all the others are the worst. Among the most influenced groups, as we were saying, we can mention Gong, Velvet Underground, Peter Hammill, Soft Machine, Ramones, and, more than anyone, Frank Zappa.

PHASE II: TOO STRONG TO BE PRONK?

First of all, who are the TSTBP? Avoiding writing all the instrumentation (which you can nonetheless find on its page: http://www.debaser.it/about/hjhhjij), they are the already mentioned (who will die of tart overdose and be replaced by yours truly, what an honor), him:  http://www.debaser.it/about/gnagnera, him http://www.debaser.it/about/ilTrattoreRagno, him http://www.debaser.it/about/proggen_ait94, him http://www.debaser.it/about/korrea, him http://www.debaser.it/about/March+Horses, him http://www.debaser.it/about/SydBarrett96, him http://www.debaser.it/about/Don_Pollo, him http://www.debaser.it/about/extro91, him http://www.debaser.it/about/Belghazi, him http://www.debaser.it/about/TheNoiseIBreath, him http://www.debaser.it/about/urlicht (whose name is mistakenly reported on the album cover, n.d.a.) and him http://www.debaser.it/about/geenoo, pronk due to circumstances beautifully explained (tomorrow) by Gnagnera. (aside from all the fakes, how could we forget them). It matters little that the best musician in the group has to try 3 to 8 times to manage to ring the doorbell at home. We are Pronk and we don't give a damn about such things, we do.

CHAPTER III: THE WORK, ONCE A PRONK ALWAYS A PRONK

Conceived in 417 and published the day before (alternative date 10000000 A.D.) OAPAAP rises to masterpiece status (mainly) for two reasons (which in reality are ten and in reality are none): its new way of conceiving music (we recall that the album was released in three years and back then only classical music was known) precedes and inspires everything we call light music today; and above all for its brazen and ingenious anachronism, so much so that it is still impossible to establish a duration for the works contained herein: testimonies, sometimes even ancient, tell us of people who started listening to this album at 16:37 on a given day and finished it an hour before, others of people who, starting the listening as a child, had to turn to their great-grandchildren so the generation could know the work in its entirety. OAPAAP is at the same time crystalline and mysterious, intense and lounge, hard and soft, white and colorful, Goth and Chav, economical and expensive, flat, mountainous, and coastal. How to explain all this? I was inclined towards a track by track extremely punctual in which I would chronicle, second by second, what instruments might be intelligible, but two things have prevented me: the fact that every soul perceives a different music (this is the pronk) and the fact that I am not Rax (Hp: Pana = pronk, Rax ≠ pronk. Th: pana ≠ Rax. Proof: Pana = pronk, Rax ≠ pronk per Hp, ⇒ per pr. transitive pana ≠ rax, Q.E.D.).
In essence, I leave you to the listening of the album to understand what the album is, what pronk is, what the world is, and what life is.

STEP IV: CONCLUSION

In conclusion, we have established several things:

- Pronk is an incredible thing

- The album is an incredible thing

- the group is an incredible thing

- the reviewer is incredibly cool

- you haven't understood a damn thing about the pronk, the group, and the album, because this review in so many lines says absolutely nothing.

- someone (Rax, the fakes) might get offended, so I say: just kidding. And after all, you're on an epic review, right?

COROLLARY V: FAREWELLS

 BYE.

(genre: pronk)